I still remember
the drawn out afternoons,
the minutes passing without a thing to do,
the clock just a metronome
keeping us in time.

I poked fun at you without reason;
jealousy leads one into themselves it seems.
Do you recall?
We were carnal beings...

I'd apologize for my egoistic banter,
but apologies are best left to the
eulogizer,
and this may be some sort of graveside whisper;
a long-winded to-do list of idle talk.

I'd call you
"Lesbia", "Rosalind", 
"my diadem stashed away",
but twenty-two months wore words away
and it would seem like frantic blandishing.

Maybe in my own life
I may be able to demonstrate
what William Yeats had meant
by a body quarreling with it's soul,
but I think -- You're delusional! --
that I could be content.

I remember everything ---
I remember the yielded heart feels a subtle sting.
The yew chattered in the wind outside your
window and I felt rooted
as I told you
I was you and would always be.

But twenty-two months is a long time.

I Have Issues,
I'll Admit,
I Have Issues,
Im Trying Not To Get Split,
In Two,
I Love You,
And You,
And You Too,
But That Doesnt Mean I Don't Have Trust Issues

I Am Green Eyed Monster,
No Not Jealousy,
I'm Running On A Wheel Like A Hamster,
I Have Empathy,
But Im A Little Bit Of A Disaster,
I Don't Trust Anyone I Meet,
No Matter What Our Chemistry,
I'm Sorry But I Can't Compete,
Because I Wander Around Hopelessly,
Around The World,
Feeling I Don't Belong,
But I'm Only One Of 3 Billion Girls,
So Maybe I Do Belong

I Was Trusting Before,
I Got Slammed In The Face By An Opened Door,
I Thought I Was Able To Stand By Keeping Busy,
But Honestly I'm Still Dizzy,
I Was Welcomed In,
But My Acceptance Was A Sin,
My Thoughs Fly Like The Speed Of Sound,
I'm No Longer On The Ground,
Oh Poetry,
Let Me Feel Your Therapy,
I'm Sorry For My Issues,
If Your Upset Grab A Tissue,
But Inside I'm Just Afraid I'll Lose You

I feel

someone

tossed

me down

a

neverending

dark

hole

had

doors

lead

to

rooms

de­corated

with

heartbreak

and

dispair

rooms

have

windows

th­ough

*****

from

neglect

of

age

an’

cobbwebs

peeking

thro­ugh

weakened

cracking

broken glass

window

eyes

saw

only

grave

storms

stones

and

rain
­
desolation

oh and

pain

clouds

frown

as

the wind

blows

cold

eyes

see

black and white

The

soul

absorbs

*****

truth

darkened

rooms

reveal
­
emptiness

filled

with

lies

no

space inside

for

another

box

of tears

stacked

floor

to ceiling

why

no stairs

fireplaces

no

longer

hold

flames.

rocking chair

too

weak

for

comfort.

sofa

stuffed

with

screaming

­memories

of

life

before

the push

mirrors cry

for

the

girl

trapped within

rooms

of

dust.

in

the

hole.

I was pushed…..

emotionally drained
past calling back
echoing all around
haunting and foreboding
threatening to reemerge
or is it just past expectations
past fears,
that I place over the present
though these words
are frighteningly familiar
too close to heart
to ignore
too close to past pain
past insecurities
to not worry,
not worry that it is
all too true
not worry that
the pattern will continue
that it really is cause of me -
the mine shaft is
closing all around

Freshly bitten lips
skin blooms pink again
tiny indentations
pupils breathing, expanding
fingers reach, grasp, *feel

on an evening when I’d string together whispers
little beats from the sleepy hearts
and I’d find comfort in the gaps between
the places I could store a sigh or two
my glass hiding spots
and there is a constant loneliness
in feeling no roots beneath you
no tie to the bones in your fingers
some day I will live by the ocean
so maybe then I can feel an impression
of something forever pulling me closer
a salted embrace

It courses through my veins,
and so I let it out.
By now it fills my heart,
I can not scream or shout.

It drips on to the floor.
Is it real? Is it not?
They cancel out each other,
Where do they end?
Where do they start?

The pain that cuts into my arm
cuts across my heart,
it makes the other disappear.
When will it end?
When will it start?

The only thing that makes it better,
seems to be more pain.
And so I slice into myself,
again, again, again.

It never leaves and stays away
It’s always back for more.
What will I do? I can not stop,
It’s always there, it’s in my heart.

And so I lay there,
all alone,
that’s the end,
no one’s home.

I knew we’d have to say goodnight
on a hillside, bathed in city lights
I waited for you to kiss me

We let the ocean set us afloat
I read the letter that you wrote
It pulled me back to sea

The crack in your windshield gleamed
as it split open freeway beams
I watched them paint you

I waited for the morning light
my eyes burned when you took flight
I’d stretch my love East