now my mother at fifty sighs
at the dinner table
says
when we were children this
is what we call old
and i thought it nostalgia
speaking
before the sight of my father
lenseless in the low light
of that diner
like a fist to the chest
greying man growing heavy eyelids
folding up into something like grandpa's

               he says
               he is not afraid of dying because
               when the time comes his flesh will
               fall apart
               and in this gilded chrome future of ours
               the spirit stays pumping cooling fluid through rubber veins
               and this brain of his
               will keep spinning away

when did he stop growing up and start growing old?

.
                          c
                   o    ov     o
                 v      f e       v
                f        f e         f
               e         c            e
               f        o  v         f
               e       f     e        e
               c       f     e        c
                 o      c  o        o
                  v       v        v
                       f    f      f
                            e

bleached
beneath
a 10 kilowatt
moon
anticipating
geometry
the smell
of soap
that same
instant
calling into
question
bisexuality
without flesh
or
the vibration
of blood

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you’re hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you’re flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shop and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it’s there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you

cat's cradles to rest your weary head tonight
careful of nightmare claws, melt shadows into
licorice for bitter tongues
     you're getting there,
close your eyes and
jump if you're burning bridges when you get to them
empty shadows and abandoned masterpieces
you are dagger-sharp in fragile places and
blurred at the edges
     miserable melodies condense you into sand.
whisper rusted penny whistle secrets to
the wind, they do not care for spilled trust
all your dreams are diamond dust
the ocean breeze will
blow them towards satellites to
blink like newborn stars

thinking circles in your head
your thoughts are running out of breath