I no longer need your thin skinned metal promises.
My tights are not bound with fear and jackets built to hide.
No longer do I leave with fear in my heart that everyday shall be my last, but that any could be, and I should live with a fighter's soul, a scandal's mind and a lover's heart.
I am no longer simply a survivor, I am a flighter, living untill I am truely queen.
Silk skinned and croocked smiled I am in a race of slipery eals, winners in the eyes of the simple.
I am the last of a simple line of promises, built to last, to grow, to form in strength.
I am comfortable in any discomfort, a lady and a gentleman, a noble and a purse slash.
I have built to see your future, and fix it with strengthened hands and a solid heart,
I am part of every future, I am born to live,
Building my metal promises for our never ending shooting stars.

The amphetamines made me god
A street corner king known across town
I feel blue as the pavement moves beneath my feet
I feel gone as the moon comes on
That flickering flourescent light
Down between the streetlights
The record scratch like a Cadillac
I've mistaken for a Buick
The cigarette flick from his window
Spins through the night like a pinwheel
Exploding sparks on the asphalt

Choked on exhaust
Thoughts of you walk beside me
Etched on my bones is your name
I wouldn't call it living
Just existing
Cars headlights sirens backseats
My head is spinning as he asks for change
"No but here's two cigarettes."
That ought to get him through the night
You got a light
On upstairs?
You got a light?
Someway for me to see when the streetlights stop
The road takes on the country
The dividing lines turn to stones and sticks
The sound of night as cows fall asleep
The fields are full of mushrooms that glow caps in the moonlight
I used to pick them at the edge of the forest
I once was happy with the thought of "maybe" having you
Now I don't do much of anything but **** myself quickly
With no one to stop me
With no light
Somewhere between the star-choked horizon and the sea
You fall asleep with another
Your heart gives a flutter when he says your name
When you kiss his neck
When you fall asleep
Dreaming seamless dreams of children and sunlight
Something in storybooks once known as true love

For years I ran from it all
As if locking up the thoughts
In dark quiet rooms would
Somehow stop them
My last full night
I was ten years old
And the curtains made a shadow on the wall
I was there alone listening to the wind
Watching as the shadow turned into an image
I cannot forget

It comes to all of us although I never thought so soon
I am angry at myself now for finally noticing this world about me
In these moments...I feel awake for the first time
I hang to each heartbeat
Each inhale is heavy in my lungs
Here I am at the end without the words to describe
The beauty of all that is around me
The gust of wind against the window
The house creaks around me
Crickets outside chirping incessantly
They are my only witnesses
Will the blast from this shotgun silence them for a moment ?



Ive wasted enough time
I loved deeply I believe
I take comfort in this
It is quiet now
So quiet here at the end
No music, no band playing
It's time now


I hope I come back as a bird

You are my back up
Stick to the plan
No matter what
You are Wendy
and I'm Peter Pan
After I throw myself from the fifth story window
Of some ***** apartment in China town
Wait for the cops and tell them who I am
Tell them that I was trying to go home
To never never land
But I ran out of happy thoughts
Before I took to the air
And when they pull up my sleeves
Pointing at my track marks with a ball point pen
you tell them that was from shooting fairy dust
Straight to my brain
when they ask about my wallet
Any cash or car keys
Tell them their with captain Hook
he stole em' from me
When they ask where I am from
Say I'm a lost boy
And that's all
no mom and dad or sisters
Only John, Micheal, and teddy
Tell them I was best friends with the Indians
and the beautiful mermaids
And when they ask who you are
You're Wendy Darling
The girl who told stories
And kept my head full of dreams

Met and read this girl called Emma.
She moved me.

Walked in like B flat
Slow music playing
Heels clicked like staccato
Dress cello imitating
Blue notes sunken
Drunken with the motion
Of the left right sway
Spin, dip, heads floating
River more than ocean
She never stands still
She don't shoot the breeze
Heart-breaker, shoot to ****
Then she transposed the thrill
B harmonic minor
Tango, stomp, clap
Somebody shot the dress designer.
Violence in the night
Gasoline on the floor
Swift step matchstick heels
She adores the
White
Light
Like coconut cream
Musicians bathe with the moon
Sleep with its beams
Play until the world
Seems to burst at the seams
Set fire to the rivers
Inhale the steam
Descend with the fifths
Never rest on a trill
Cut the drums, spotlight
Let her transpose the thrill

There is a mineshaft
in my chest -- my heart
scales down the lines,
dropping into my stomach
graceful, a trapeze artist
descending from above

There is a tranquility
here, a blinded heaven
scarring across my eyelids

This ghostly skin
shakes me awake,
screaming ripping
like paper between
the sheets, I am stuck
with a glue I never spilled

The lotus unfolding
back and forth, a
sick dance twisting
in front of me,
the memories in my
head convulsing
like they're trying to
restart my heart,

I always knew
the end would be
brighter
than the beginning,
the candlelight
of my birth
painting pictures
I'll never get to see

because this heart,
it weighs me down
a death I never felt
roaring in my chest --

And this waterfall
will never
reach
the pond.