Hundreds of "I love you"s later
I still feel
Just as alone
As day one.

The world twists beneath my feet
And to hell again,
Oh how I miss the sun.

The sky breaks and sun graces my skin
And to earth again,
Oh how the sun burns.

I have found,
Thats this world is no longer for me,
But I love the world too much
To let go.

the whole idea
that you'd had
in three lines
or less
is much less
than a whole
thought.

so don't waste my time
don't waste my space
don't waste my life
waste your own
in lesser thought
and in lesser
idealism
than what's real poetry.

i've never thought
i'd read more ****
posted about some idea
than what i've read
on here
in there
just to pump some ******
deeper into my veins
to calm my nerves
and calm this pain.

Would I prefer
The slimy synopsis of narcissim
Or to be eaten alive by my own hatred?

To pick at my own skin
Untill I'm as red as 911
Or to be reborn with makeup every day?

Does  masochism have a sweeter taste?
To rival in my own distruction and bathe in selfhatred?
To drink it like your father's wine stash and to sigh happily as I sink down beneathe the surface and relax...
Sometimes I think I'm dying yet I feel so fervently alive...

Disease tastes so sweet under my teeth,
And I long
I LONG,
To have your skin beaneath my hands,
Your legs tangled with mine,
Lips drinking screams.

I wonder which of us longs deeper for this?
Which wants more deeply to dance before a mirror?
To collapse against each other in the halls of a hotel?
Or in the woods behind your home....

What is your dirtiest fantasy?
Pick your poison and I'll drink.

Years are revisited
As I bury myself in snow
And listen to the cries of the ******.

I watch the places
Where your funeral pyre lied,
And whimper, wishing I was superman.

There used to be a fear in me,
A fear to let people in, or love anyone,
Because as soon as I dared don a title, everyone ripped from my fingers.

But I'm older now,
I've truely fallen in love,
And been set ardently aflame,
Writhing in the agony that made me.

I have scorched away my mind's youth,
Trading it for browned flowers and hushed internet history,
I am so fervently alive it hurts.

But?
Winter came and
Stole everyone and everything,
Freezing your goregous minds and open hearts.
I watch you all fall like flies,
Just leaping for a chance to die.

I hold you hands close to my chest,
Wishing you all knew that you've made an athiest pray,
And how dearly my world, and the world, needs you.

I listen
To your blood
Drip down the drain
Defussing into
Salty sorrow.

One more night like this,
Two more,
Three,
And I just pray
Someday that you'll be okay.