Creamy and warm
your thoughts
like a swirl of make believe beauty
I wonder
do I fit into the equation?
That perfection of neural impulses
your mind
do I meet the requirements
to swim in your stream of consciousness
convulse to your heartbeat
love you
like you were
greater than yet equal to
me?
I wish I could answer for you
say "yes"
with more certainty on my lips
than moments I have spent
thinking, longing
for your reciprocated desire
not merely physical,
though that would be nice too,
but for your desire to know me
like you know of your own existence
and to continue wanting that knowledge
once it has been realized-
every day
every second
more and more
until we get love- filled aneurysms
slow and steady
becoming nothing
together.

well sponoza
what would you make of this?
granted
success is never guaranteed
but I think I deserve
some sort of prize
I tried, after all.
Maybe
trying harder
and relenquishing
everything
will bring about
more desirable results.
So what?
Lose control?
Could be interesting
or detrimental,
both
most likely,
need to indulge
in hedonism
or else
well, ****.

Shroomers
silly goons
why are they around-
sketchy friends to have
these foes
smoking out in public
not a care
he carries switchblades
openly cries
makes all uncomfortable
but he sells the stuff
right?
They're nice
to his face
and he's nice
to all he meets
but deep down
all can tell
this guy is trouble:
either we'll get in jail
or he'll get killed.
Inevitable
poor guy
so sweet,
who's to believe
his stories
been through hell
maybe
or maybe he's an actor
a pastor
wanting followers
ending up
alone
because none want to be associated
with one so
wrong.

Pop it
like a weasel
can it rain in here
it's dark enough
hot enough
energized enough
it could storm
feel it
in the air
like molasses
kissing *****
mine is pretty sweet
thanks for noticing
sorry if you think
I'm a tease
my body and my conscience
want very different things-
which do you think is right?
Oh you don't care
do you
guess it's safer that way
I don't want to care either
I want to never think
just feel
but only if it's good
and only if we never speak again
or else
you must respect the hell out of me
or else
what a hypocrite I'd
am
be.

it's a hard knocked life
for a bus
rolling down the highway
which way
go left go left
stop!
don't know why i'm here
anywhere
and it doesn't matter
really
but it gets you down
when your existence is brought into question
like why?
and more importantly
how
can you make it feel
not so empty?

knights and *** holes-
engineers of our days
they are stupored little trains
can we get a round of applause
for all the little boys and girls
still brushing their teeth and bike chains
licking up snow from dumpsters
getting high on imagination-
that's what they're calling it these days-
my grandma once said
if it burns in the summer
it'll cry in the winter.
maybe she meant me.

Got the shingles
the shakes
the quakes
and not in good ways
just old days
no pay, can't afford
to miss it
must do it all
and fast
before it's gone
I'm gone
nothing but a memory
that all else will forget
but have to be happy
yes
must do it all
jump from every cliff
scream every note
of every song
then make some up
and make some out
and make some love
and paint bodies colors that are too perfect for skin
too analogous
mix them all up
melt them
any way possible
must be quick
run
run until the molecules that make the body
fall apart from exhaustion
dissipate
become a part of the universe;
they will be dispersed
and each atom
each fiber
each silk string of theoretical maybeness
will know what has been done,
can tell an infinite number of stories
and they will each
be moments in time
replayed for the pleasure
of only me.