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Matalie Niller Sep 2012
perpetuated indifference
freedom and fleas
cats in the trees
loving the grass and twigs
between my knees
and toes
and fragments
in my hair
my clothes
and on a day such as forever
I spoke to another
terribly,
not so good at words
with others
who say words back,
pretty little polka dotted
circles and nonsense
like who are you kidding?
Individuality is not a crime
though faking it is,
as if being unique is even unique
but another copy
of another
a thought already thought
shush up
kiss like a real person
not a slobbery
monstrous
adolescent,
but like a man who knows
or at least cares,
but not about the earth crusts on my skin
or the air in my finger nails
it's all me
and if they can't like it
can't love it
in any way
that can be considered love
or positive
in any form or shape or sound or purpose
then forget
to forget
because sometimes
one is ****** up
and enjoys
a little game
of brain bashing insecurity,
until that day when one becomes self-actualized
(oh please)
and then real forget and freedom may happen.
How boring.
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
So
you're a bad idea
in all ways
and it's true
I play a part
somewhat to blame
but let's just forget about that for a sec
because I want to remain
the good girl
innocent and pure of heart
all intentions correct
and yet
I want to be the bad one
that parents tell their kids
to avoid-
breathing the same air
will result in immediate need
of exercision-
I want your respect,
for you to be a gentleman
but maybe
I just think you're cute.
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
used to be so sweet
and shy
that one time
but i guess he was misleading
now an aggressive werewolf
wanting what he wants
unfairly
and it's scary
but i like it
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Got a problem?
I can make thousands
millions
all up in the ceiling
mosaic tiles
blue and gold
holding down the albums
memories so soft and sweet
buttercream to wisdom teeth
picking out the files with an ax
and you can ask
any fella on the street
what he thinks
he'll say he doesn't,
we're honest by nature
nomenclature
soggy,
**** sapiens forever
loving bones and gorillas
never feel ya
quite the same
as that time in the attic
with the static
in our brains
it was insane
the way we thought our thoughts
touched touches
with more
would have scored
had it not been for the spiders-
frisky little things
squashed em long ago
and that's why they don't have wings,
unnecessary condition
apparitions to trife
made a foxy wolf lick his chops
take Peggy for a wife.
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
nevertheless
can't help but remember
what happend that day-
not so fun, huh?
not a proud moment in any of those 24 hours,
just nostalgic
destruction
wanting to go anywhere
to not think about there
here
and now and again
I return to those moments
not to reflect per se
but to induce vomitting-
not so fun
being compared to undesirables,
and yet
so fitting
in a way
or five hundred,
it's you.
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
it's so rainy
drippity drip
drop
like it's time to read a book
all day
in a day
and drink hot chocolate
and bake warm cookies
getting fat and lathargic
because what else is there to do
when everything is so perfect?
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Hey-
what gives you the right
to be so comfortable
with the opposite ***?
How come you can be all flirty with all those ******
and make me feel
so insignificant
when it takes so much out of me
just to have a normal conversation
with such a cool guy?
Sir,
you are the worst
and now I can see
where I stand
in your mind
and I'm not even on your mind
nope
I'm just some dumb girl
not even as cute as all the others
not as ******
not as experienced
so I'm left behind
while you go chat it up
all friendly-like with those bimboes
and I'll be here
like always
angry over something
out of my control.
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