as bob dylan said:
let freedom ring,
ring like a tree in the fall
crisp and burnt
until cold
echoing on sidewalk
call it a morning of sorts,
the kind where everything feels right
with your soul
and it melts into the physical world
much like descartes may have liked
or contested
but also much like I would like
to do at times,
become a part of everything
not just a something
maintain a sense of identity
within the whole scheme
of all that is,
will be hard
but really
freedom is like water,
necessary and occasionally attainable
if looking in the right places
but impossible to capture
in hands-
too physical
for such needs,
water and freedom,
representative
of a concept so simple
yet not fully understood

i have lots to say
just can't say them
with words
out loud-
they remain in my head,
forever and always,
locked away
never to be heard
by ears
or minds
of those who should
know what happens
when I'm breathing

or at least
those I wish
to care

shun the non-believers,
what time is it anyway?
minty fresh
wind of frebreeze
like it in the ****
icy chills
down yo spine
winter in the mountains
frost bite in places
you didn't know you even
had to go there-
inevitable
to say the least,
I think you're pretty great,
at times,
when you treat me like a princess
and I pretend to be
unaware,
uninterested in being a thing of positivity,
not wanting to be any much of your thoughts,
separate
but really
I want to be there
in your mind
because deep down
I'm selfish like that
I want to control you
but to maintain that status
of superior-
lord forbid
the crashing of humanity
that would occur
were I to be another's-
not part of my genetic makeup,
I don't even wear any-
au naturale-
I'm your kind of girl
and in a way
you're my kind
of destruction of ego

none of that
"oh, you'll be fine"
crap,
give me the truth.
how bad is it-
am I?
would I be
the worst human being
in the sense
that I don't function
like a typical person,
but have some redeeming qualities
that render me
somewhat pitiable
if not
worthy of living
an equal life of opportunity;
I'm not a terrible human being
in the sense
that I wish ill will
on any
or cause chaos
or upset feelings
no
I am just terrible
at being a human being
and so
I live like I do
chasing the cats that nobody else
seems to see
and eating my meals
burned, outside
enjoying the company of crickets
more than
the people inside walls

Greatest hits
never had one
but can't feel so innocent
too guilty
for such pleasures-
call it a fault of sorts
of my own-
never known quite what I want
possibly
because it isn't something to know
but to feel
and said things
are frightening,
no new revelation
at all,
but conflicting thoughts,
negligent feelings;
what do they want?
What do I want?
Do I want the affection
attention
admiration
(as if I deserve them)
or would I truly be happier
left alone
almost bitter,
were there a reason to be,
left to be safe in solitude
never to experience discomfort
never to experience life

no matter how
or who
or whenwherewhy
things happen,
almost naturally
as if time is true
and matter interacts with said time
in such a way
that life exists
and then
it doesn't matter
because
all is
and all
is all
there can be expected
to be

it can be fun
to not not rhyme
or make sense
because anyways
oranges are good for sickness
which I of all people
should know
just in case
it gets too sick out there
and then
with nowhere to turn
you stumble upon
a grove of orange trees