I don't like him as much as he likes me, but it's comfortable and I haven't had that in so long. It's been years and he's loved me since he met me. I've always known but would never admit it. The first time he kissed me he said,
"I have wanted to do that for so long!" and I hailed a cab alone. I sleep in his bed on Wednesdays and Saturdays, but we act like it's not routine. I still haven't invited him to my house. He hasn't met my best friend. I talk about her all the time, but I never mention him. I wonder what his friends know about me. If they tell him to leave me. I skipped his birthday and he wasn't mad. He can't help but kiss my head, my back, my ears, my toes, my... He's patient. I met his family when we were friends. He always smells my hair and cooks me dinner. I miss him most when I'm on the train. He remembers all my stories that no one ever listens to. He wants to keep me warm--my hands, my feet, even though they rarely are, and I barely notice. Except when my feet are touching his and I don't want to turn his warmth into my cold. I have poor circulation. And isn't that how it's always been? Poor circulation.
His warmth, my cold.

It's three a.m. & I am not asleep

How could I close my eyes to nights like these?

When thunder rumbles my ribcage and breathes an ache into my chest

Where water droplets drip onto my thoughts & liquefy them

Lightning coursing through my shaking veins

Every strike echoing & electrifying my brain

Chilly breaths that creep along my skin, serenading it

My cigarette with every pull more luminant

I've circumvented myself into side effects of hopelessness

The sounds of rain stripping me softly into submissive erosion..

Focus.
  It's how perception alters when the
          overlooked explodes with
                                         prominence.

Stretching this vast expanse of past all along.
Smoking tendrils climbing from my mouth.
I only have one face,
                    Plato was wrong.

And kisses linger, but with time, fade away.
I feel my lungs fill with the entirety of it.
Was I only one,
                     *when sculpted from clay?

I oftentimes find myself compensating for my creation

As if merely existing is an extraordinarily enormous insult in itself

And my reason for living is to repeatedly apologize for breathing

Because the space I am apart of isn't and never will be where I am wanted

We collided together as a cataclysmic collapse of black holes
                                                           ­                                   two days ago.

The strings of space around us stretched into small circles that
                             tucked us inside of them to hide.

Nestled away from nights and days, transcending the time that was
   beginning to slow.

Humanity & sanity fell apart but we spun on as the planets caved inward,
                                safely residing on the inside.

We were a blur of cosmic smoke and stars swirling at the center of
                                                                ­ this crumbling universe.

Bright burgundy fire built from desire washed over the silent sky
          radiating the shattered shards of our destruction.

Our blood vessels began to burst, our muscles torn from our
                                                            glow­ing bodies as we conversed.

We weaved ourselves in time, sunlight beaming from our eyes,
             as everything began to connect again.

Slots were filled with pieces that had not belonged
                                              shattered fragments placed along the outlines.

We became the blaze that lit up the center of the sky
                      filling it full of bright & warm color,
                               we were infinitely entwined as each other's lovers.

I wish I were a cigarette
Perched in-between your perfect arched lips
Breathe me into you
I'll swirl in smoke tendrils around your face
And then I'll happily fade away
Until you light up another later
Being your bad habit isn't so bad
If that's what I am to you,
I'll take it

Drink over drugs
Was always my preference
Why? You say
Well drugs have a large price to pay
Drink may **** my liver
And make  my conscience quiver
But it's about mastering your pace
With drugs it's a constant race

It taunts and teases
Pretending it pleases

How fast can you lose yourself?
How long can you keep reality on a shelf?

It leads you to a darkness
Hidden away deep in your mind
Something with thorns an loves forlorn
No it's not kind

Drink can ease my pain
In time of weakness
But drugs have a keenness
To devour you

So pour yourself a glass
Have a cry and a laugh
And bask in the rain
That your still sane.