My life
Is leaving you behind.
You, in that little town,
Me, being tugged and stretched
To fill an enormous world.
When I am across the ocean
When I live alone and leave everything behind
What then,
For you?
My life is leaving you behind.
But I can't.
I shouldn't still love you.
I shouldn't still wish for you.
And sometimes I don't...
But you have something of me.
I can't explain it.
There are new loves.
There are better loves.
But you are the background.
You are the foundation.
You're in the air,
You're on my skin
And you would never even touch it.
But somehow you still own it,
Every inch,
And I know what grief it will be
To see you grow up and fall in love
With someone else.
I know that to be near you forever
I will have to endure
So much more of that,
And on my weak days I wonder
Why everybody else gets a whole chance.
You, in that little town.
We don't belong to each other anymore.
But I will always belong to you.
I know there will be days
On London's cobblestone streets
That I will be unable to forget your face,
That I will worry and wish for you,
And I wish I didn't know
That I'll love you until the day I die.
I wish I didn't know
I'll be writing you poems when we're old and gray
And married to other people.
But I do.
I know it.
At the end of the day,
When I am stripped of everything
You remain
And that is the most comforting,
Devastating thing
I know about myself.

sometimes
i just wish
you'd simply
love me again
but i guess it
won't ever
happen
it's too
late

First love is stumbling upon an unfamiliar path
A gust of wind in your sails,
You try to ***** the danger from above
But misty clouds serve as a veil
That's the thing about first love
You can't turn around now that you've departed
You just have to ride it through
These seas left uncharted

Baruch met Yehudit
off the bus
it was her half day
off work

and they were going
to spend some time
alone together
as they used to

before they’d' left school
she still had
her work uniform on
and make up  

and her hair
was tidier
than it had ever been
can we go

to your place?
she asked
yes sure
the house is empty

until 3.20
she nodded
and they walked up
the road towards

the house
traffic rushing by
the sun warm
in the afternoon sky

hell of a day at work
she said
that manager
kept on at me

this is not how
we do it
he says
that is how

we do it
why is he
such a creep?
Baruch said

he thinks because
he's manager
he can get
girls to do things

but I always
put him straight
and he doesn't like it
that I don't let him

Yehudit said
report the  prat
Baruch said
a rook flew noiseilly

over head
she looked up
and down again
who would believe me?

I'm just a 15 year old kid
he’s a respected manager
been there
for 20 odd years

who are they
going to believe?
Baruch frowned
won't any

of the other girls
stick by you?
will they heck
most have slept

with him
they're not going
to show themselves up
as ****** are they?

she said
guess not
he said
they reached the house

and went in
the gate
and along the path
to the back door

and opened up
coffee or tea?
he asked
no

she said
let's not waste time
we only have
about 2 hours

so they went up
the stairs to his bedroom
and undressed
and got into bed

you ok with this?
he said
of course I am
she said

it's not you
I have a problem with
and besides
this is an expression

of my love
he kissed her
and she kissed
his neck

and he took in
her *******
the softness
the smoothness

as he ran his fingers
over them
and his pecker moved
and the room enclosed

and protected them
from the world outside
as they made love
the songs of birds

distant traffic
a ticking clock
her uniform
flung over

a chair
then they lay there
breathless
each moving

in a different world
breathing in
the same air
and on the bed post

hanging
her bright pink
flowered
underwear.

I steady an umbrella
over your damp back
putting in the rain

divided raindrops flit
past the edges
drops cool my hands

rolling ball kicks drops
up from the soggy turf
into an unseen pool

traps, pools, streams
all dry for the fall
slick with dust and rain

I leave you in the dust
13 strokes on hole 12
waiting on a wet stump

an ego wet with winning
but all is small here
I return this half-pencil

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust
My lungs are slowly blackening
With my accumulating cigarette butts
They tell me it's stupid
"Do you want to die?"
I just blow smoke in their face and say
"It may be suicide, but it makes me feel alive."
They'll wrinkle the nose at my smell
Walk away in disgust
And I'll just burn up my body
Until I return to dust

I still remember
Her kisses laced with chap stick and wine
I remember her emerald eyes shining
In the dark
I remember her whispering
"To be continued?"
I know she had blackened lungs,
A messed up past
And a crooked heart
But I still loved her
With all of mine
I remember that question
That haunted her
"How will we ever get out
Of this labyrinth of suffering?"
I know all this
But I will never know
The last words she spoke