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martin Mar 2013
I'm fifty feet old
Two tons tall
Fit as a cranberry
Ripe as a waterfall
Size July cheeks
Marbles for feet
Gallons of tulips
Dance when I eat
Candlelight ****
And promises art
Crush the whispering hesitant part
Of a borrowed porcelein heart
And yes it was something you said
So out of my bed
Mind your head
Mar 2013 · 2.5k
Spider and Fly
martin Mar 2013
I once knew a woman who got cancer
I don't know why
Perhaps it was genetic
Environmental
Or she swallowed a fly

They sliced it out
Bombarded with radiation
Chemo
It might as well have been a spider
To wriggle and wriggle around inside her
Because she died
Mar 2013 · 1.1k
Bugg
martin Mar 2013
From time to time I need a little help at work, casual labour. Someone said Bugg was a hard worker, you'll find him in the Crown. Sure enough he was there, yes he'd be pleased to help, starting the next day. Bugg used to live in a house, but bought a painted gypsy wagon, horse and all to live an itinerant life. He kept moving on, from one village common to another. I collected him at first, and sure enough he worked well. He said he once met Rod Stuart in a bar and I had no reason to disbelieve him, still don't.
  He started using a motorbike to get to work. His time-keeping was, well, non-existent. He came out with excuses like there was a police car cruising nearby, so he had to stay put as his bike was not taxed or insured. So we had a little conversation about that, and I thought I had convinced him it would be worthwhile getting it legal. He concluded the discussion by saying that well, the police don't stop bikes much anyway.
  One day he showed up at about eleven. Later on I casually asked if there had been a reason for his late arrival. His disarming reply was a simple 'no, not really'.  A nice enough fella, but I was beginning to get the measure of him.
  Instead of being paid at the end of the week, Bugg wanted his money daily. I realised he was spending each day's money in the pub every night. I was still glad of the help though.
  When the work ran out he moved his wagon a few miles to another common, where he had work helping with a barn conversion. Ideal for him, a village with a common, work and a pub.
  One very early morning someone on their way to work saw his wagon engulfed in flames. He was in it, burnt to a crisp. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can't say I was surprised.
  Poor old Bugg, hopeless old Bugg, rest in peace mate.
Mar 2013 · 922
Heaven
martin Mar 2013
If there were a heaven
I would want it to be
Like the lunchtime walk we did today,
Little Bear and me

We took the bridleway as signed
Through a cottage garden
Someone had a mower going, the first cut of the year
We slipped through unnoticed,
Me and little Bear

The path went by a natural brook
Below a sloping meadow
And led up to an ancient wood
Beside a well-clipped hedgerow

At the wood we paused
It looked inviting, dark and deep
But for now its secrets it would keep
There was work to do,
A heap of straw to sort and lay
So that adventure we will save
For another day

That adventure we can save
For another day
Mar 2013 · 967
The Robin
martin Mar 2013
The kettle boiled, switched itself off.
He made tea, topped it with milk.
He had never felt calmer.
Today was the day.

He counted the strides to the station,
One less than usual.
The train was two minutes overdue.
A robin just above him piped and trilled its cascading song.

The train came into view, now it was level with the end of the platform.
This was the time.
Before he could see the driver's eyes.
He hesitated.  
The moment passed.

**** robin, **** ****** robin.
Mar 2013 · 1.3k
Grandma, Lucy's had a baby
martin Mar 2013
Grandma, Lucy gave birth she informed us,
and wants us all to see.

Lucy gave birth to a tortoise,
and it ran away to sea?

No Grandma, Lucy gave birth to an infant,
and she wants us all to see.

Lucy gave birth to an elephant,
today at half past three?
How did she do that?

No Grandma, Lucy has had a little one,
she's ecstatic and wants us to see.

Lucy, plastic surgery?
I'm not surprised if she gave birth to an elephant.
Shall we visit her?

Yes Grandma, what a good idea.
Shall we find your hearing aid?

What do you want a ***** for dear?
Feb 2013 · 2.3k
Financial adviser
martin Feb 2013
My old man's in finance
He dishes out advice
He'll tell you where to best invest
But only for a price

He charges a hundred fifty
For every hour he's there
I thought he'd got a ****** cheek
I don't know how he dare

I fell out with him
I'm not that easily led
So my stash is going back
Underneath the bed

for Higgs
Feb 2013 · 1.3k
My old man's a dustman
martin Feb 2013
My old man's a dustman
He's in the pub today
He'd be there all the bloomin' time
If he had his way

My old man's a dustman
He don't give it's all take
He plays his banjo late at night
And keeps us all awake

My old man's a dustman
He loves his missus so
He wouldn't swap her for the world
I think she'd swap him though

My old man's a dustman
He once met the Queen
He kept his hands behind his back
'Cos they weren't very clean

My old man's a dustman
He's really quite a card
Friday night he'll take you on
If you think you're 'ard

My old man's a dustman
He knows my Auntie Jean
Every time she sees him
She does a little scream

My old man's a dustman
Making no mistake
When he finally pops his clogs
There'll be quite a wake
Pastiche, Lonnie Donegan's, My old man's a dustman.
martin Feb 2013
There was a pirate who came from afar
Who sank his ship for a h'penny o' tar
He had a scar on his cheek,
Gold in his teeth
And like Prabhu, a thing for the noir

There was a vicar from Kent
Who gave up religion for lent
He enjoyed a spree
Of being un-holy
Nobody knows where he went

For the tourists to impress
She wore traditional dress
She liked the grass skirt
And the flowery shirt
But the coconut bra caused distress

One of the tourists she knew
Was really enjoying the view
He bought her a drink
Tickled her pink
And said may I remove it for you?

The limerick man was on top
He was writing such a lot
The barrel he dredged
He lost his edge
And didn't know when to stop
Feb 2013 · 1.6k
Tea with the pastor
martin Feb 2013
.                Tea with the Pastor, milk and one lump
                    Visits get regular, leads to a ****
                    Soon no disguising the growing bump
                                He's in denial, quite the grump
                        Deserves a slap and accurate thump
                 Receives a doorstep greeting-card dump
                   Church congregation starting to slump
                       Bishop demands control your stump
                      Still he claims no sin with the "frump"
                             DNA evidence gives him a jump
                            Exposing a less than holy chump
                          Loving her child hers is the trump
The vicar he had a bride
Plus a bit on the side
He had to confess he'd made a big mess
And the best thing to do was hide
Feb 2013 · 707
A limerick
martin Feb 2013
All through school they were peers
Their friendship lasted for years
They knew that they must
Not give way to lust
For then it would end in tears
Reflecting on the theme of cross-gender friendships.
Feb 2013 · 3.5k
Jellyfish in the dock
martin Feb 2013
Jellyfish in the dock
Quietly guarding his spot
An intruder drifts by
With a challenging eye
So he gives him all that he's got

The quarrel to settle
He showed him his mettle
Caressed him all over
With arms like a nettle

The stranger acts tough
Calling his bluff
Hanging around in a bit of a huff

He drifted off, he'd shown him what's what
There was no doubt who was king of the dock-
It was one of his better exchanges

But he thought how strange for a fish,
To have tattooed on his chest
Good food costs less at Sainsburys
A tribute to the first poem posted by victoria on hp, which has this same title.

A jellyfish in the dock
Started talking a lot
He said give me a mike,
I'll sing songs if you like
I actually know quite a lot
Feb 2013 · 834
Personal services
martin Feb 2013
She sees him once or twice a week
For services bought and sold
She keeps it all a bit hush-hush
Her friends she hasn't told

He makes her knees go wobbly weak
Her heartbeat gets so fast
She feels her body overheat
He makes her pant  and gasp

They say she's looking good these days
They all are wondering why-
Why the jaunty spring in the step-
Why the sparkling eyes

Then one night with all her friends
She said I'll tell you a thing-
This is Wil, my personal trainer
And this my diamond ring
Feb 2013 · 2.6k
rat catcher
martin Feb 2013
He catches rats for a living
The fine young, jolly young man
Says if you can't get rid of them
Call me, because I can

I'll trap 'em, drown 'em, poison 'em,
Hit 'em on the head
Failing that I'll fire some shot;
Fill 'em up with lead

Bedbugs, fleas, ants, pigeons in the loft
Squirrels being troublesome
Tell me, I'll stop the lot

Then he handed me a business card
Said this is me as well
So if you fancy tasty burgers
Just give me a bell
All the world's a stage the actor said
And every man must play his part
Then he rather ruined it
By letting out a little ****
Feb 2013 · 799
14 Feb
martin Feb 2013
I will be your storyteller
Just stay here with me
We can show each other
Things we never would have believed

I will keep you company
At the end of every day
I will lull you off to sleep
If you let me stay

I will build a house
Made from hearts of oak
I will warm your water up
When you want a soak

I will write you poems
About the moon, the stars, the clouds, the sky
I will stay with you
Until the day I die

Because you're the one who's good to have around
You're the one I'm glad I found
I may not say I love you all the time
But I do,
My special valentine
martin Feb 2013
Everything you do-
Turn it into poem food
See the world anew

Spiky cables hanging from the wall
Disappear beneath the floor
Let me try to figure out
What they all are for

Eventually we connect the lot
Turn on the power and hear-
A pop

Of course the colours have all changed
From red and black
To brown and blue
Then the blue turned back (to black)
In an effort to confuse

After lunch I see my mistake
Just take this off and use this one
Flick the switch, and oh be joyful
All the lights come on
My dad, a retired electrician, has been helping to get the electrics finished on my extension building project.
Jan 2013 · 2.0k
Little Bear
martin Jan 2013
The first week I slept downstairs, to be right next to him
We're keen to build the bond, and do our best for him

It's two steps forward, one step back
Sometimes we've thought, it's just a few brain cells that he lacks

Then for sure he's getting there, he's really learning lots
It's go go go, up down, round round
Pull off the table cloth

Just when we think he's such a cute young pup
He's doing well, he's being good, and really growing up
He's even asking to go out by waiting at the door
He decides to let us down
And does a finely placed architectural poo
In the middle of the floor
Jan 2013 · 1.2k
Ash (fraxinus excelsior)
martin Jan 2013
You always had to me a look exotic
Though none could be more native
Nestled in our landscape here
Since ice melt these ten thousand year

No enemies, or so we thought
Warming, useful, strong yet supple
Ubiquitous, vigorous, unstoppable
What could harm you now?

Windy days you sway and clash
Skeletal click-clack in the canopy
But now it seems the common Ash
Must suffer life's fragility

Against this invading menace
You find you have no defence
The assassin fungus
chalara fraxinea
In the 1970's we lost our elms due to the elm bark beetle coming in on imported wood.
Now we face the prospect of losing our ash trees to this wind blown fungus which came
in on imported ash saplings. Other diseases threaten our native oaks as well as other trees.
Joni Mitchell's lyrics echo in my ears:    They took all the trees, put 'em in a tree museum.
Then they charged the people a dollar and a half just to see them.
Jan 2013 · 980
Frankly speaking
martin Jan 2013
Before our unsuspecting eyes
Like star trek
He just vapourised

But hey, it's ok
We know now friend
It's your way

We hope sincerely you'll be back
We promise not to get too close-
We know you don't want that

We hope you will return, at the time you select
Until then, fare thee well
With respect, great respect
Jan 2013 · 1.3k
HMS Hood (10 words)
martin Jan 2013
-                    Rusting hulk                             -
Monolithic reminder of gargantuan struggle
-               Tombstone of war                          -
A reminder of the famous verse on the ship that sank the Hood;

Out of the cold and foggy night came the British ship the Hood
And every British ****** he knew and understood
They had to sink the Bismark the terror of the sea
Stop those guns as big as steers and those shells as big as trees
We'll find the German battleship that's causing such a fuss
We gotta sink the Bismark 'cos the world depends on us
Yeah hit the decks a runnin' boys and spin those guns around
When we find the Bismark we gotta cut her down
Jan 2013 · 1.8k
I love you Senor!
martin Jan 2013
A Massey Fergie tractor
An old VW beetle
A worn out pair of boots
Manuela the 3 legged dog, and Senora
In their humble tumble home

The small concession to modern life
Just a mobile phone

Nothing special here
No status or wealth is evident
I love you Senor Mujica!
You do not change your way of life
Just because you're President
The president of Uraguay to be specific.
A former revolutionary and long term political prisoner,
he gives away 90%  of his salary.  Google him!
Jan 2013 · 954
Happiness
martin Jan 2013
Oh that contented soul to be
Who finds in all things harmony
Who weaves their cloth on nature's loom
And sees no cause to worry

Who shines with aura ever bright
Like lustrous moon on misty night
A smile to brighten any room
With charismatic light

Skillfully to seize the day
And cast all lowly thoughts away
So mind and body stay in tune
And happiness holds sway
A partner with a willing smile
                            and a happy heart
And a nice big dog that doesn't ****
Jan 2013 · 1.2k
Complete again
martin Jan 2013
We left behind the growing oaks, the contorted willow
with its weeping friend, and the chestnut which
protects us from the western wind.

The christmas tree, garden plonked some thirty years ago,
soon to chop and chimney, and its holly neighbour,
freed at last from greedy strangling ivy.

The white-barked birch, the leaning cluster pine, the maturing
walnut and arching alders, the trio of young scots pines,
rescued from loop moth caterpillars just in time.

The regiment of leylandii along the northern border all in a line
the laurel hedge, the little holm oak, the redwood brought
home in luggage as a burl now spearing to the sky.

The shy biloba, new, unsure, not yet deciding if it dare.
The host of yellow plums, which bid to sucker  
everywhere.

The rowan in a ***, bark nibbled by a bunnie, still waiting
for a plot.  

The scruffy greengage, planted for its scrumptious fare,
the bramley sapling and the conference pear plucked
from the bargain bin last year.

We left them all behind, just for a night, with
a special mission on our minds. We
traveled south then west to a band
of dedicated people in a special
place we had to find.
He was there.

He's with us now, and quite relaxed.
We're on our way to take him back,
to live with us as a life-long friend,
and make our lives
complete again.
We've been to collect our new puppy !
Jan 2013 · 791
Old Jim
martin Jan 2013
Out of two hundred men who went over the top
Only a handful came back
Jim survived, he made it home
Lucky Jim for that

He stood and watched me for a minute
As I struggled to master my task
'You'll get the hang on it'
Was his gruff but engaging remark

'Once you get over eighty,
Anything can happen you know
This time next year
I might not be here
Anytime I could go'

Within the twelve month he passed away
How right he proved to be
And since that time now and then
His words come back to me
Dec 2012 · 2.1k
Turkey days
martin Dec 2012
There was a young man from Ceylon                                    Another man from Sri Lanka
Whose turkey went on and on                                                Penned an original tanka
Each piece on his plate                                                            ­ With himself he was pleased
He dutifully ate                                                              ­           But his friends they just teased
Till every morsel was gone                                                       And called him a silly old....wally


Turkey in soup, turkey in curry,turkey in sandwiches when in a hurry,turkey for breakfast,turkey for tea, fed up with turkey soon I shall be. Ways to eat turkey different and clever, man this turkey goes on for ever. Can we have something else now please, put the rest in containers to freeze.
A splendid old man from Argyle
Spoke of his ghosts with a smile
'They're like you and me
So I just leave them be
You get used to them after a while'
Dec 2012 · 812
We love you Liz
martin Dec 2012
How can I put into few words
What we think of her?

How can I say in just a few lines
How proud she has made us, so many times?

She is just a woman, but so much more
             A figure head
                         Ambassador
                                   Diplomat
                                           Sovereign bold

And like a sovereign
Worth much more
Than her weight in gold
Our Liz.....our Queen
Dec 2012 · 1.9k
It's Christmas
martin Dec 2012
Chestnuts roasting by an open fire
Stories gather round to tell
I almost sat too close to it
And roasted mine as well

Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
All the nice hay
Smells of ***** instead

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gay
But if Santa's eyeing up your chimney
Send him on his way

I'm dreaming of a quiet Christmas
With every panic out of sight
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be just right
Dec 2012 · 2.9k
Solstice house
martin Dec 2012
Cold and dark the solstice night
But shadows dance inside by candle-light
Pampered spruce holds centre stage
Calendar counts down the days

Festive holly berries red, mistletoe with white
Cards suspended on a string, flashing fairy lights
All is quiet in the house
Nothing stirs except...a mouse

He has no fear
Of cat or trap or carving knife
On his mind is something nice
Perhaps a chocolate-covered nutty treat
Beneath the Christmas tree to eat

Tonight no usual pickings poor
Of meagre breadcrumbs on the floor
For tonight he dines like a king
On fruit and nuts, dates and cake
A little bit of everything

All the Drambuie chocolates he ****** dry
He could not stop, he knew not why
Then he passed out on the floor
One hung-over little mouse, his head so very sore
Dec 2012 · 735
Ball of fire (10 words )
martin Dec 2012
Comes round every morning
           No days off
           What a star
Dec 2012 · 1.8k
December haiku
martin Dec 2012
-       icing sugar snow       -
like dusting on a mince pie
-        very seasonal            -
This little poem has nowhere to go
But I want it to rhyme
And I want it to flow
It doesn't say much
Just a small hello
And a Happy Christmas
Afore ye go
Dec 2012 · 4.2k
Blind date
martin Dec 2012
Chemistry that's a start
History broken heart
Geography been around
Current affairs lost and found

Politics no nasty shocks
Anatomy got the lot
Philosophy will it fit
Astrology if you believe in it

English Lit Great Expectations
English Lang communications
Mathematics work it out
Music we could twist and shout

Psychology games to play
Economics I can pay
Algebra think of walking
Poetry now you're talking
Nov 2012 · 1.7k
Bill Millin
martin Nov 2012
There was a Scots soldier, Bill Millin
The sound of his bagpipes was thrillin'
The Germans thought how sad-
The poor man's quite mad-
We'll not waste a bullet on him then
Limericks are usually light-hearted, this one not so much.
The tradition of going to war playing morale-boosting bagpipes was forbidden in the British army during the 1914-18 war as it tended to attract enemy fire. On June 6th 1944 however, Bill Millin was ordered to play the pipes on Sword beach as the D-day landings were in full swing.
He escaped injury because the German gunners, deciding he was completely bonkers, did not fire on him.  He died aged 88 a couple of years ago.
Nov 2012 · 870
Pen names
martin Nov 2012
I was born into flame
The son of parent stars
But stars burn out
And have to die
Leaving me,
The Dieing Embers
Of a dynasty
That used to rule the sky

I joined this site so as a poet
I could shine and grow
I call myself the Common Raven
But really I'm a crow

Mums and dads stroll past our pond
Hand in hand with little ones
They bring their dogs, some are old
Some are little pups
My parents they are mallards,
Nothing rare as such
So I was consequently
Inevitably raised by ducks

In heaven swearing is allowed
I didn't know, did you?
But someone went a bit too far
And turned the air quite blue
He was celestially expelled
It was the only thing to do
And now is known as
Angel of Profanity
To the likes of me and you
Nov 2012 · 837
The day job
martin Nov 2012
The family who had this house I know
They won't be coming back here though
A spark settled on the thatch
And burnt it down a year ago

The husband had already left
Her car turned over in the snow
The tears flowed as, bereft
Across the fields her dreams did blow

The old life gone, they have moved on
And we are here to put it back
So another family can come to live
Beneath its thatchy hat
Nov 2012 · 1.2k
Mrs Um and Mr Er
martin Nov 2012
In their discombobulated lives no matter what occurs
Mrs Um and Mr Er never quite concur
Continually at loggerheads
Sparring is their game
Life like this is normal now
Really it's a shame

Mrs Um for her hols wants to fly to Spain
Mr Er would prefer Turkey on the train

Mrs Um would like a dog, what he says to that
Is well now let me see, er, I think we need a cat

Where to put the cross this time
I don't know do you
Mrs Um votes red
Mr Er votes blue

So they end up doing nothing
As on nothing they agree
How they ever got together
Certainly beats me
There was an old woman from Fife
Who put seaweed in her pipe
She said it's good stuff
It's cheap enough
But it can be a job to light

Her husband knew she was an unusual wife
But he let her do whatever she liked
At the end of the day
He used to say
I love her, she's my life
Nov 2012 · 927
L'esprit de l'escalier
martin Nov 2012
Searching for words I fumbled and stumbled
Incoherently I mumbled
Eager to share the repartee
Trying too hard, too desperately

Now I know what I should have said
It really would have knocked 'em dead
They would have thought what a clever chap
If I'd come out with that

But it's too late unfortunately
The only one listening now
Is me
Nov 2012 · 657
Winter (10 words)
martin Nov 2012
-  Winter is long
    But the sun shines
    In your art  -
Nov 2012 · 1.2k
Last dance
martin Nov 2012
A voice called me in from the garden
Coffee served for two
A voice called me in from the garden
I wished that voice could be you

A hand reached out in the darkness
To comfort and reassure
A hand reached out in the darkness
I wished that hand could be yours

In my dream you came to me
Your beautiful face I saw
You bade me rise to join you
And held me close as we danced round the floor

I felt your breath so warm on my cheek
As you whispered soft and sure
Live now for the living
Long for me no more
Nov 2012 · 2.1k
At the village pump
martin Nov 2012
The village pump is where she was stationed
Her purpose in life, to glean information
Every morsel of 'news' she'd greedily savour
Though reluctant to empty her head, to fill up her neighbour's

That mucky young *****'s expecting you'll find
I'm certain I know who did it this time
He bought a bike, the crafty young fella
And no good came on it Doris I tell ya

He put one in Fram in the family way
And thas a good fifteen mile away
And if you ask me, he's too fond of his sister
If there's a young'un who's willing round here he'd not miss her

So lock up your daughter do she'll be the next
He'll be snouting round here before long I expect
And look at poor Bob, they say he's frustrated
They reckon his hip bone is half discolated

Same as old ****, see him hick with his stick
All wore up and not sixty as yit
You don't look wholey clever yourself
Doris you really should keep an eye on your health

And Grandma Green has took to her bed
I'll drop by there today, 'cos same as I say
You're a long time dead

Well I should be going, I've said too much already
Cheerio now, and do you goo steady
Nov 2012 · 1.7k
Full moon
martin Nov 2012
Like a shining sixpence perfect cloud
Why waste your light at bright noon day?
For when darkness cloaks us with her shroud
Who will light our way?
Oct 2012 · 1.1k
Halloween Hag
martin Oct 2012
Fed up with you now
Silly old cow
Stuck it this long
No idea how
All the photos, in the bin
In every one you're ugly as sin
That voice all the time
A shrieking whine
Annoy someone else
You're no longer mine
I'm perfectly sure I won't miss you a bit
You ghastly wizened  gnarly old ***
With your drab grubby clothes
And concordian nose
Your pointy hat and stinky old cat
As if there could ever be another
I do believe you've become your mother
With your stupid concoctions and ridiculous spells
You really should be thrown down the well
Can't wait till you're gone, along with your pong
Your shriveled-up bits and ridiculous stick
You really are a hopeless old fool
You belong on a ducking stool
So before you incur any more of my wrath
Bugg off, good riddance you scabby old goth
Oct 2012 · 938
shock
martin Oct 2012
Out of the blue
Hail and a thunderbolt
No shelter

                            Pennies drop in little ways
                            As days pass
                            Separating us

My movements are slow
Head hangs low
Little reminders
All over the show

                            I could make a call
                            To a waif and stray
                             Make someone happy
                             Make someone's day

It is absence
I have to get used to
Before I can look again
Before I can start anew
Oct 2012 · 932
Our Beloved
martin Oct 2012
One last walk up the lane
One last wander round the meadow
One last photograph

One last hug
We're so sorry
But we couldn't bear to see you suffer
We have had to say goodbye to our beloved Dusty dog. Very suddenly he felt unwell, and we were told he had late stage cancer on the spleen and heart.  I am going to take a break from hp for a little while.
Oct 2012 · 2.0k
hp hop
martin Oct 2012
( To the tune of Jailhouse Rock )

Party night came to the hp site
Singing and dancing till late at night
Friends dropping by said count us in
Man you shoulda seen them poets swing
     Let's rock
     Everybody let's rock
     They all got together in a flock
     Rockin at the hp hop
Well I didn't know you played the saxophone
Frank Zappa Davis on the slide trombone
Along came Embers with a whole brass band
Man that thing was getting out of hand
       Let's rock
       Everybody let's rock
       We were rockin and we couldn't stop
        Boppin at the hp hop
Music getting louder as the night wore on
Hands clap feet tap sing that song
Grab hold o' somethin just to play a tune
If you don't play the piano play the wooden spoon
          Let's rock
          Everybody let's rock
          We were givin it all we'd got
          Boppin at the hp hop
Someone made a speech, said we're all friends here
We all shed a happy little single tear
Then she said oh for goodness sakes
I love everybody in the whole **** place
            Let's rock
            Everybody let's rock
            Keep it up y'all don't stop
            Boppin at the hp hop
Oct 2012 · 2.2k
Fulfilment
martin Oct 2012
How many millions have you got
I expect you lost count
It's a hellava lot
Not forgetting the splendid yacht

An artist scans a landscape
A comic distills a joke
A shopper looks for a parking space
An addict drags on a smoke

I do what I want one thing at a time
Cumulus nimbus are flying high
Follow my nose with a healthy dose
Of common sense and instinct combined

A vicar rehearses a favourite prayer
A sailor waits on a breeze
A writer sees a story there
A woodsman searches the trees

A rich man still believes he is poor
A lost and lonely is thinking if only
Patting the chair and tapping the floor

We all go chasing a bit of fun
Fulfilment comes in different ways
Like writing a poem every day
Oct 2012 · 917
War
martin Oct 2012
War
You wouldn't **** a man
Or **** a woman
Then **** her, normally.
But listen kid
You've got a gun
Have some fun
You're in the army now.
Sep 2012 · 1.8k
At the cattle market
martin Sep 2012
Jim and Jill on market day
Watch a gret ol' bull hev his way

"Do you look at that now Jim,
Why can't you be more like him?"

"Well," said Jim, "there's a difference now-
He don't stick to the same old cow."
Another adaptation of an old country joke, again inspired by Raj.
Sep 2012 · 956
Birthday Boy
martin Sep 2012
I think we all agree
He is a master of his craft
His ready wit and wisdom
Can make us look quite daft
Although his face we do not see
His words are all we really need
So from us all on hp
Happy Birthday FJD
Sep 2012 · 1.6k
Digging up spuds
martin Sep 2012
A country tale from round these parts
Concerning potatoes none too large
Now over the hedge as he rode by
Old Dibber had a little spy

There was his neighbour, fork and all
Digging up spuds, but they were quite small.
With a cheer he blurted out
"Your spuds aren't much to shout about!"

Quick and sharp came the retort
"They're made for my mouth ba, not yours!"
ba = boy
This is my attempt at a re-working of an old joke, inspired by Raj.
Sep 2012 · 967
Spirit calling
martin Sep 2012
This mortal state is not my own
It is too fleet to call a home
Bound and strapped in chiming chains
Until the circle turns again

I hear a spirit calling me
Awake, let loose the ties, be free
Draw to a close this mundane game
To return from whence you came

But for as long as I may choose
My choice is not to follow you
My lust for life still shines too strong
So my friend for now, be gone
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