They were different times

The only thing I know about old man Venn
He used to tie two cats' tails together
Hang them over the washing line
To watch them fight
Cruel old man Venn

There was a man in the village
He killed dead pigs
If a farmer had a pig die
He'd cart it home then squeal and shriek
Like a dying pig
Then pass off the meat as fresh
Everyone knew about it

A couple in the village were always arguing
One night the man said he was going to drown himself
In the pond
She said do you go an' do it in someone else's pond
I ha' got to drink that water

Jim said there'll be a fire in the village afore long
Russell said how d'you know that then?
Down at Hall Farm I see him stripping the paint off his window
With a blow torch
Right near the thatch
He knows better  'an that
Sure enough the old farmhouse burnt to the ground
He built a bungalow with the insurance money
Old Jim was right again

Russell met his wife to be during the war
He had a few days leave but not long enough to go home
So he stayed with his mate in Lancashire
Ended up marrying his mate's sister
She came down to Suffolk
One of the local women said to her
Where do you come from?
Lancashire she said
I didn't think you was English she said

A farmer said to Jim
That wholly made me sweat to write out your cheque
For thatching this year
Med me sweat fust said Jim

For hurdle making they would cut ash pole in the wood
Using hand axes
When they finished the women from nearby cottages
Would come and pick up the chips to start their fires

When I can no longer see
And the way is dark
You shine a light ahead for me
And beat for me a path

When I feel I'm sinking
You help me rise above
When I want to hate
You show me how to love

You may be real or perhaps
Just inside my mind
But I feel you watching over me
Almost all the time

So when I get old and I'm being told
That I can no longer roam
Take pity on me, don't leave me be
To sit here at home all alone

Take me to the top of a mountain
And there let me sit all the day
Leave me on top of the mountain
And there I can fade away

Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn
What a vision of loveliness you have become
As I watch from the wings sipping a Pimms
A one-sided love affair has just begun

She holds a martini and graciously flirts
Still wearing the fetching tennis skirt
All the boys stare as she climbs up the stair
Every one wishing she could be theirs

Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn
Did I cheer too loud for the match that you won?
Was our handshake too long when I told you well done?

And now it is nineteen seventy one
What an excellent wife and mother you've become
But alas not to me
Miss Joan Hunter Dunn