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martin Mar 2013
Driving west we reached an inn
A group of friends around a table
Laughing, joking, talking
About the usual things

As local, native as can be
But their language
Incomprehensible to me

Not similar or remotely related
To the sounds that come from my mouth

They speak my language too
But theirs by choice
It lives and thrives across the whole of this lovely country of theirs
Wales

History comes alive
My eyes are open wide
To diversity
Reminding me
Ours is a land of immigrants
Always has been
Other ancient native languages still spoken in the British Isles include Irish Gaelic, Scottish Gaelic and even Cornish, which I have seen here on hp once.  But Welsh is by far the biggest and most thriving I would say.
martin Mar 2013
Clever Trevor likes to surprise
When he was born he shouted Hi!
I'm Trevor, glad to be aboard
And look, I'm wearing a mortar board!

They gave him a part in the Christmas play
As baby Jesus the divine
He took to it like a duck to water
Which of course he turned to wine

Mum took him to the beach to play
Let's be normal just for a day
He dug a hole in the sand
Drained the sea away

He likes to throw stones,
Never missing a target
He aimed for the moon one fateful night
Knocked it out of orbit

A keyboard wizard,
If he got a bit bored
He could start a third world war

So come on Trevor, please do something good
Help us out here, I wish you would
martin Mar 2013
On our bikes, day after day
Wheeling along the West Country Way
From Georgian Bath, that Jane Austen knew
To Glastonbury Tor, our challenge still new

Where are we now, is it this way or that?
Another cool stretch on a railway track
No one fell off, no one got hurt
Except now and then by a few cross words

And so over Exmoor, our longest day yet
It was football, not cider in our Somerset
Sea views and fresh air in Westward **!
We could have stayed longer but on we go

The hills are getting longer, tall hedges either side
Our legs are getting stronger now we've found our stride

The Eden project was on our route
So we had to stop and see
The scene was complete in a bio-dome
With David Attenborough filming for tv

Past holes in the ground where they dug the clay
Along old canals our journey panned out
Then over a beer at the end of the day
Out came the map for the mileage count

On through the ancient landscape we go
Past the odd castle or stately home
Past sheltered coves and beaches of sand
And on to the end  -Lands End-
Where we ran out of land
In this interminable Winter it is good to look back at past Summer holidays. This one was cycling from Bath to Lands End, along minor roads and cycle paths, such as disused railway lines and canal tow paths.  The winding route we took was about 450 miles as I remember, and it only rained once!
martin Mar 2013
When the words don't seem to fit                                                     
When the spot they just don't hit 
I re-visit my friend                                              
Shake him again                            
Good old Mr Limerick                                       


There is a young woman from Dunbar                     
Who jogs but never too far
She carries a snickers                                                   
Insid­e her knickers                                                        
­And a mars bar in her bra                                            


-Stretch limo-
So much length it had gained                                      
To drive it was really a pain                                        
So they put on the wheels                                            
Tyres of steel                                                            ­                               
And turned it into a train                                             


Mesmerised for a while
By those eyes which so beguile
The men she meets
Fall at her feet
But why such sadness in her smile?


A pretty young thing from Milan
Had a beautiful tan
She enticed married men
Into loving again
And then the **** hit the fan


She used to be happy, fulfilled and carefree
As wild as white horses out on the sea
Now she's no fun
What has become
Of the girl she used to be
martin Mar 2013
I'm fifty feet old
Two tons tall
Fit as a cranberry
Ripe as a waterfall
Size July cheeks
Marbles for feet
Gallons of tulips
Dance when I eat
Candlelight ****
And promises art
Crush the whispering hesitant part
Of a borrowed porcelein heart
And yes it was something you said
So out of my bed
Mind your head
martin Mar 2013
I once knew a woman who got cancer
I don't know why
Perhaps it was genetic
Environmental
Or she swallowed a fly

They sliced it out
Bombarded with radiation
Chemo
It might as well have been a spider
To wriggle and wriggle around inside her
Because she died
martin Mar 2013
From time to time I need a little help at work, casual labour. Someone said Bugg was a hard worker, you'll find him in the Crown. Sure enough he was there, yes he'd be pleased to help, starting the next day. Bugg used to live in a house, but bought a painted gypsy wagon, horse and all to live an itinerant life. He kept moving on, from one village common to another. I collected him at first, and sure enough he worked well. He said he once met Rod Stuart in a bar and I had no reason to disbelieve him, still don't.
  He started using a motorbike to get to work. His time-keeping was, well, non-existent. He came out with excuses like there was a police car cruising nearby, so he had to stay put as his bike was not taxed or insured. So we had a little conversation about that, and I thought I had convinced him it would be worthwhile getting it legal. He concluded the discussion by saying that well, the police don't stop bikes much anyway.
  One day he showed up at about eleven. Later on I casually asked if there had been a reason for his late arrival. His disarming reply was a simple 'no, not really'.  A nice enough fella, but I was beginning to get the measure of him.
  Instead of being paid at the end of the week, Bugg wanted his money daily. I realised he was spending each day's money in the pub every night. I was still glad of the help though.
  When the work ran out he moved his wagon a few miles to another common, where he had work helping with a barn conversion. Ideal for him, a village with a common, work and a pub.
  One very early morning someone on their way to work saw his wagon engulfed in flames. He was in it, burnt to a crisp. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can't say I was surprised.
  Poor old Bugg, hopeless old Bugg, rest in peace mate.
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