How do you not feel anymore?
Maybe you could teach me
How not to feel
Because right now I feel like nothing
I feel like a part of me has been stripped away
I feel like I'm being forced to stand naked in front of everyone
I feel exposed
I feel useless
But most of all I feel hurt
How do you lose all feeling in a week?
How can you act one way and speak another
How can you sit there and watch me cry
Knowing you caused my pain
And you left me to drive myself home
It's hard to drive when you're hyperventilating
You told me I was perfect, I was great, it was nothing I did
It obviously was or else I wouldn't be crying into my coffee cup
The salty tears blending with the sweet vanilla until the whole thing just tastes sour
And now I can't eat
Food has no flavor
It's empty of enjoyment
Just like my day to day life
That used to be filled with the possibility of you
The possibility of us
The comfort and safety that was our relationship
I'm lost
Lost in this ocean of feeling
And that's what it is, an ocean
And I'm adrift and unreachable
It's not like it's by choice
But I'm just not a very transparent person
And you were the closest I ever got
How could you leave me sitting in the cold, crying
My tears were freezing to my face
And I'm still cold days later
I'm cold watching you walk through the halls
Your head down and your hands in your pockets
The same hands that should be holding mine
And all I want to do is talk to you
And let you know all that I'm feeling
Maybe I could lend you some of this feeling
And you would love me again
You would smile at me from across the room
And walk me to my classes
And hold me when I cried
Instead of staring at me from across a table
That felt like an ocean
And looking down at me
Like you were sorry for me
The moment the words left your lips
We were strangers
And it was like we had never kissed
Had never talked
Had never danced
Had never told each other our secrets
Had never existed as a single unit
And that's what we were
And now that part of my world is over
And I have to learn how to fit into another one
Another world where I can't know you
And it will take awhile for me to know myself without you
And I'm not good at being lonely
Just come back
Sail across the ocean you created
And bring me back to shore
I can't take your silence anymore
Just feel
Just feel something
For me