In her eyes I stray
Uninterested and withdrawn
With her my heart freezes
But with you I am warm

Her touch is alien
So odd, so unusual
But yours keeps me sane
it’s become like a ritual

I yearn for your lips
As I lean towards hers
I want to be grabbing your hips
But I only end up with tears

These feelings I fake
become so tiring to keep up with
The empty promises I make
Deter me from being blithe

My synthetic heart needs to feel
but I’ve come to realise
that only you could make me real
only you can make me feel

The seeds you plant in my heart
feed off the light from your face
they bloom ever so quickly
but soon transition into a different phase

They begin to creep around the periphery
of my vascular *****
they flourish and overcrowd
into what becomes a garden

The stalks, they start to constrict
I suffocate, I shout for help, I gasp for air
what in the world is happening?
silly me, it's not like you even care

Your hands
With a grip so sturdy, so strong
May steal and hit
and commit all things wrong

Your legs
With capacity to root you down
So athletic and toned
Could take you off without a sound

Your heart
It beats to a mundane tune
So cold and unfriendly
It keeps inside its own cocoon

Your mouth
So small yet brimmed with power
Emits all sorts of negativity
and lie and devour

But your eyes
pristine and chaste
never uncouth
will always scream nothing
nothing but the truth

We slog ourselves every day
to make a change, we selflessly try
but why is it that when adversity arrives
we let go of ourselves and break down to cry

Then we pick ourselves back up
and attempt to stand tall once again
only to have a hundred more problems
shoot you right in the brain

It spins your world around
it rolls your dreams into a mat
it wrings your body like a towel
and crushes it flat

This vicious cycle we go through every day
it is not going to stop
make the most of it I suppose,
and don’t let yourself flop.

I trudge through the darkness of uncertainty
beneath my feet lay remnants of my dirt past
a breeze of forlornness rushes over me
blanketing my body in nothing but downcast

My eyes squint for hints of sunlight
rays from the golden colossal sphere
that would temporarily take away
the coldness of this fear

Bumping into rough barks of trees,
that scrape away the thin layers of my skin
becomes a norm, a regularity
because pain to me only exists within

Whatever this place is
it is everything painful and sad
and the hurt intensifies
after every tread

but still I move forward
I march head-first into the unknown
hoping, and wishing that one day
all this darkness will be overthrown

The words that escape from my mouth
are nothing but negative
words so uncouth
they make any soul grief

When I sit alone
my thoughts become a puddled mess
where good things drown
while the others infest

Not long after
I begin to wonder
why away people
start to wander

And then it hits me
why would anyone choose to waste
all their precious time around
a somber and lonely pessimist?

I sit here thinking how I got into this
how you got me into this mess
I know I shouldn’t be blaming you
but I couldn’t care less

I stare at you
and you do the same
what is this, I question myself
why are we playing this game?

You’re like a puzzle
but your pieces; they’re
neither here
nor there

Or maybe they have lingered
all along; hidden
in between your walls

Don’t get me started on those walls
the walls I never got through
for you could never let me
even if you wanted to

I don’t even know where I’m going with this
I’m so tired of cracking my brains,
thinking what this possibly is

I wish I could make you smile
the way you make me smile
I wish I could make you feel safe
the way I feel when you’re around

My sanity slowly evaporates into nothingness
I end up hurting myself
and as if that’s not enough,
I hurt you too