I've always loved
hands.
I'd study it
if I could.

My favourite
would be yours.
When holding,
it wasn't too tight
or too loose.

Nor was it
too big
or too small.

Neither was it
too dry
or too sweaty.
Even though you got
worried
that it would be.

I'm a sucker
for hands.
I like yours better
than anyone else's.

-m.b

I'm in my room but I'm wishing that I could be with you right this instant so badly. In your car, with that sharp tangy air freshener hanging over the A/C, listening to your strange music that I usually don't listen to unless you introduce them to me, snuggling close for warmth as the sky keeps raining and droplets would form on the glass windows, racing down after each other.

Pretty boys aren't worth crying over, I know. But why are my eyes clouded with tears and my heart is squeezing painfully in my chest? "You aren't mine, you aren't mine, you aren't mine. You never were and you never will be. You belong with someone else. And you're quite happy, too." My mind rang so I quickly press exit and lock my phone. It isn't worth it.

-m.b

I don't know if I'm moving on. I don't know if I'll ever move on from you. You're like a childhood tree house that's been found, but I've lost memories of ever residing in it. I didn't know you at first but after getting to know you, it's like the memories are clicking into place. A mix of nostalgia and false memories. Now I can't go on without wanting a taste of that again. Before you, I didn't know what I was missing. But now that I've found you; now that we share this bond, I can't bear the thought of letting you go. To me, you're like the essential part of me. My hiraeth.

-m.b

I've moved on but clearly it still pains me.
I can't help the building insecurity
when I look in her direction.
It has always been a distraction.
Perhaps one day I'll recover;
The hurt, the envy, they won't be here much longer.

-m.b

I miss you a little too much, my voice echoes; bouncing off the white walls. But you would only come by as you please and I'm left parched for your presence. Cause how else am I getting enough sunlight if not from your voice and skin and bones? Please come back.

-m.b

So many eyes were glued to her
when she entered
the room but she
was only fascinated with
the pair of eyes that never
looked at her.

-m.b

I used to believe in
11:11 wishes before.
When the clock strikes eleven
I'd wait for eleven minutes more.
Patiently anticipating
Until it turns into vertical sticks of four.
So I can quickly rattle in my mind
What I want before
Wasting my precious sixty seconds.
Repeating it like a favourite chore.
How disappointing
It was when I couldn't wish more
Before the magical time ends.
So when I grew older,
I stopped wishing
Because you appeared.
Isn't it amazing that you're everything I wanted, and more?
How we'd spend every day talking
And I'd get to know you more.
But as time passes, we don't
Converse anymore.
So now I'm waiting
For eight times one hour
To wish you all the best in
Your future endeavour
Or I'd start talking about you in
My 11:11 wish. Go back to how it was before.

-m.b

We were meant to destroy*
I mean, that's how we met right? I was walking alone one night, decided to rip up a jacket I picked up from the subway. I heard a crash and you were there; breaking apart a wooden bench by the street. Our eyes met and we exchanged a smile.
That's how we went.
We destroyed walls with our rude psychedelic murals, set the trash cans on fire, broke our limbs when we went rock climbing in summer '09, wrecked every room we went in at 3am on Thursday nights.
It shouldn't be a surprise to how we are now.
All our dates before, we'd destroy at least one thing.
Now we're destroying each other.

-m.b

You were a curveball
I never saw coming.
I thought I had it all
but fate is unforgiving.

I was into another boy
but you came in calmly.
My God, was I destroyed
when you smiled shyly.

I've always thought
you're pretty
intimidating, smart,
and very witty.

But my feelings changed
when we were put
together. Then I hanged
onto your every word.

I couldn't stop thinking
about last Friday.
When we were hand holding
which made my insides disarray.

Now I get this
tingling sensations
inside me. Please,
I can't be patient.

I turn to mush
when I think of you.
I didn't expect to crush
on you. I hope you feel it too.

-m.b

I wrote your name
In the sand.
So the water will wash
It away.
If the sea can forget you
Then I can too

-m.b

So is this how it'll be?
From our first shy conversations,
to discussing our favorite books and songs,
the midnight confessions,
the daily I love yous,
the constant motivation,
the laughing,
the loving,
the missing.

It started with missing.
Time took its toll on us.
We were too busy to talk.
That was okay.
We loved each other still.
We understood.
It's okay.
But it wasn't.

We stopped talking.
We missed each other.
So now it has come to this;
the Sorry, I was busy.
The It's okay. How are you?
The I'm good. What about you?
The That's great to hear. I'm okay.
Then silence.
We moved on.
That's it?
We love each other still right?
We'll rekindle right?
Right?

-m.b

I'd knock on your door
but you're never home.

So tell me, how do I love you
when you won't let me in your dome?

It's like wanting to fill a water bottle
but the lid is ******* shut.

They say love is easy.
So how come there's too many "ifs" and "buts"?

-m.b

The weight of you
     sitting upon me.

My fingers rake
     your thick mop of hair.

My fingertips graze
     your porcelain skin.

Inhaling your scent*
     like a breath of fresh air.

And I miss it.
     I miss it all.

-m.b

I slept peacefully
with the rain pouring softly
outside. In between real life and
in my slumber; I thought of your name,
Lightning struck
and thunder shook.
Almost like the world didn't want me to
think of you.

-m.b

Find a person with a broken piece,
I'll hold them and assure them peace.
I say "I'll be here for you, I won't leave
I'll be your anchor, won't let you adrift."

I'm the glue, you see.
I'll fix you for free.
No matter how long it takes;
No matter how rough it gets.

I will fix you when you're undone,
I'm the shield to keep you from harm.
And when you're healed and strong,
this is the part where I don't belong.

Cause I'm the glue, you see.
You'll leave when you're free.
I wish I didn't get too attached, but that's just how it goes.
I'll carry a piece of you and I'll miss you most.

-m.b

You told me to stay away
But I was blinded by love, I stayed.
I should've left on the first day;
Oh my, it's too late.

Now I'm caught,
Struggling against your web.
Like a fly being captured,
Awaiting my death.

How do I always get ****** in?
Why do I keep giving in?

-m.b

You're no good for me,
I know, I know.
But I take you in.
Breathe, love.
Your name echoing,
Left my lips.
A taste of you,
Salty.
Just the way I like it.
Salivating,
You in my mouth.
You, you, you.
I can't get enough

-m.b

"Write a poem for me," you said.
I couldn't so I quietly declined.
I watched you as you stepped around,
Slashing your paper sword in and out.

"Okay then, I'll make one," you said.
You stopped moving and concentrated,
Frowning. She teased you and you told
her to keep quiet, to which she did.

It was nearly 5pm and it was raining softly.
We waited for you patiently,
Then words started spilling from your mouth.
Indeed you made a poem with us as your eager crowd.

It was almost therapeutic, man.
With your gentle voice blending in the rain;
Like warm honey trickling under the Mediterranean sun.
Who would've thought that we'd be friends?

-m.b

I remember you told me that when you kissed him for the first time, you cried. You finally felt truly loved by someone. And ever since then, you two were inseparable. Building each other up, brick by brick. And when you look at each other, it's like you've found magic in each other's eyes; warmth and pure love exploding within you. You understand each other and tenderly open each fold of his heart as he does the same for you. I feel like the word "love" doesn't come close to what you have. It's something much, much bigger. You two make me believe that whatever you have for each other, is real. I hope it'll last for an eternity. And I hope someday I'll get a taste of it too. But for now, I'm just happy you two are together. Building, building, building.

-m.b

I used to think of you as an angel.
But with those wings, I wish you'd reenact Icarus' death when he flew too close to the sun; the long drop into the sea.
Maybe when you drown you could feel how suffocated I was all this time.
Again and again like some sick person would rewind my pain on a worn vinyl.
Heartbreaks aren't always equally shared, darling.
Sometimes I wish you suffered too.

-m.b

Me loving you was frowned upon.
But boy, was I stubborn.
I insisted that deep down,
you're good;
I refused to see the bad in you.
Even though I was often hurt,
I shut the negativity out.
Wanting desperately
for others to see what I see.
But now I realize
that you're a lost cause.
Because loving you means
hurting and losing me.

-m.b

Dear Eros, get your arrows ready
to let it fly.
Isn't this what you do best?
I'm probably your fave subject;
What with the countless arrows you've
struck with.
I'm probably painted with over a
hundred wounds.
Is unrequited love my muse?
Or do you and Aphrodite do this out of amuse-
ment? I've fallen for so many people
and they never work out.
What is this all about?
You're close to testing me doubt
my worth;
But I won't let you.
I'm weak-kneed when it comes to
romantic love but
your prophecy won't alter my
life completely.

-m.b

He was smiling too widely and he was jittery. I mistook that for good news. But then he started to talk and with every minute passing by, my excited smile started to falter. It's like with each word uttered, our throats are being filled with glue and it just makes us feel sick. Sitting stiffly upon cushions that we've called our home. Silence hung heavily in the air when he's done talking.
"It's going to be okay. Something good will come out of this. I promise."

-m.b

Is this what heaven feels like? The sweet smell of your cologne filling my nostrils as I lay my head against your thumping chest. The warm feeling when I'm enveloped in your arms. The gentle way you run your fingers through my hair. The twinkle in your eyes when you look at me. The reflex of your smile when I catch you staring at me. The spreading of redness on your sculpted cheek bones. The soft voice you use when you speak to me; like a melody crafted by Orpheus himself. The caresses you rain on my skin; like you're an eager artist and I, your canvas. The soft kisses you lather me in, like I'm the most fragile thing you've ever met and you're afraid I might break beneath your touch. The protective way you hold me like you're worried that I would be taken away from you. I hope we'll never part, in this world and in the next. Every detail of your existence is a God's gift I'm eternally grateful for.

-m.b

How are you able to turn
a sweet fragrance
into a toxic fume?

How are your beautiful promises
then are now ugly lies;
deafening both of us?

-m.b

Past midnight are made for
People who can't sleep

The girl in room 120
Is nursing a broken heart

The boy in room 237
Is wide awake, thinking of his ex who slipped through his fingers

The girl in the shower in room 405
Is scrubbing her hands, trying to calm her nerves

The old man in the lobby
Is listening to jazz music, having a flashback of his golden days

They are all restless,
Thinking of ways to get a good shut eye

But the happy and contented ones
Are fast asleep, dreaming of tomorrow

Past midnight are made for us
The ones struggling to control the chatters in our minds

-m.b

we were flying in the gentle breeze;
calmly, slowly, happily.
but that's it.

even if I felt everything;
the butterflies, the awestruck,
the extreme giddiness and "glow", you didn't.

I would think it's wrong
that I'm alone in this
but it's not. honest.

even if we're in a different universe
and we switched lives and interests,
we would still be like this.

I have come to terms that
we're just not made for more.
and really, that's okay.

I'm okay.
you're okay.
we're okay.

-m.b

Your favorite shirt, with its earth colours
lay folded in a corner, aged with dust.
You'd wear them on our best days, my fave hours.
Tinkering laughter, warm hugs and solid trust.
Running in the rain, hear you call my name.
Dancing to music, writing you lyrics;
Oh it's a museum of memories.

But bridges burn, leaves fall
and times change.
You made a turn, I gave my all,
we were on the edge.

I dived in and the skies changed colours.
From rock to mud to flowers.
Icy from the winter then hot in the summer, oh.
Baby, seasons change and so did I.
My feelings for you has faded, has faded, has faded.

Remember how we used to gush about each other,
couldn't keep our hands to ourselves?
Did we really come all this way to ******
what's left of our books on the shelves?
We were so vibrant then, but now it's all grey.
So numb and tasteless and dull.
Whatever plans we had, got abandoned.

-m.b

I'm either too happy or too sad.
With him it's like
sunshines and snowstorms,
hot and cold,
young and old,
heaven and hell,
life and death.
There is no in between,
only one extreme
to the other.
I don't know
if I should
blame him or thank him,
hit him or kiss him,
move on or stay,
forget or remember.
He's all of the poems,
songs and stories
I wrote and read about.
He's everything and nothing.

-m.b

She burst into tears and that sound;
choking sobs and gasping on air,
broke me and rattled my bones.

I sat, frozen. Not knowing how to comfort
as I chewed on my food and
going over strategies to assist her.

I ended up joining her at the sink,
stood and wrapped an arm around her
trembling body, still sniffing.

She whispered a "thank you" and left.
I waited and heard her echoing
silent sobs filled the empty hallway.

-m.b

Things tend to change after midnight. Feelings are all over the place; fear, joy and especially sadness. It scares me that the magic of after 12am might make you reckless. You tend to feel invincible and say or do anything you want to. Secrets and wishes released without a care because it's dark and most people are asleep. Somehow it feels safe to say anything because by morning as the Sun rises, it's like every little magic has vanished and you can start over. Forget the recklessness of last night.

-m.b

I'll always write about you.
The love,
the heartbreaks;
different words,
same language.
I don't care
whether or not you deserve it.
Because my best writings
are always about you.

-m.b

I would pause reading,
turn the volume down
of my favourite song,
take a break from
eating a good meal just
to listen to you talk.
Not out of politeness,
but I just really like
to hear how your day
went. How your eyes would
light up, twinkle, and dance.
It'll put me in a good mood.

-m.b

A loaded pen
is just as deadly as a loaded gun.
It'll pierce your heart
just the same.

The difference is;
one will let you breathe,
but you won't live.
-m.b

And I am left gasping, exhausted.
How can a love so strong felt by one person,
and the other not at all?

How can you give and give and give
and the other would take and take and take;
but runs with it all?

How is it happening everywhere;
the pain and hurt alone,
while the other moves on through it all?

-m.b

My skin
is scorched
from when
you trailed
with your finger.
I couldn't help
but to shiver
when you thumbed my lip
and captured
with your own.
My punctured
soul is drowned
by your sweet
haven.
Such infinite
brazen.

-m.b

I know you've been hurt many times before.
So now your brain is wired to see the
opposite *** or potential crushes as a threat.
A threat to your self confidence.
A threat to your inner peace.
A threat to your just fully healed heart.
But there comes a time where you have to let
your walls down just a little bit.
There are good people out there.
You have to let them in.
Maybe you won't feel so bitter and cold
if you'd just let some sunshine in.
It's a scary thing to do, of course.
To bare a vulnerable part of yourself to
someone after being stabbed before.
But past injuries should not hold you back.
Don't you know diamonds are made under
great pressure?
All these hardships will shape you into a gem.

-m.b

I feel like talking about you but I don't want to.
I feel like I should text you but I want you to do it first.
I feel like there's more to you and I want to get to know you more.
I feel like something is brewing but I don't want to hope too much.
I feel like writing more about you but my brain doesn't want to.
I feel a lot of things and when I do I want to turn it into art.
I feel like I should jot them down but my creative side doesn't want to.
I feel this is something else but if it isn't mine, I don't want it.
I can feel that I'm falling deeper but based on my experiences, my crush would never want me back.

-m.b

Everything about you captivates me;
All your flaws are amazing.
Your button nose is ridiculously cute
You'd deny till we end up in a dispute.
The beaded sweat on your forehead
glisten like stars among the sunset.
Your intelligent eyes are sparkling
like my favorite constellation.
Your throaty laugh is incredible
like a music note that is intangible.
The way you walk is mesmerizing
and so very enchanting.
Your beautiful hands
are sculptured by the heavens,
Your brain is so wonderful
it should be exposed to the world.
Alas, the most important thing
is your smile, which could cure anything.

-m.b

Hello, how are you?
It's been a while.
I miss you. I really do.
I tried to reach out
but you never responded.
I hope I didn't
do anything wrong.
It hurts. A lot.
Whenever I tried
but you'd leave me on read.

I have so many things
to share with you.
I've grown and experienced
new things but couldn't tell you.
Cause it feels like
I'm speaking to a brick wall.
I feel dumb sometimes;
Getting excited and all
but you never respond.
I guess you need some space.

So if that's what
you need, I understand.
I'll give you that;
time and some space.
Know that I'm always here
if you need anyone.
You know I'm always happy
to have a reunion.
I just wish you could
tell me you're safe and sound.

-m.b

Hello, I hope you're doing fine.
Sometimes I am,
sometimes not so much.
It has a latch
on me.
I'm still not completely free
from you.
There's nothing much I can do.
I'm still healing.
Through reading and writing.
Going back and forth
between old memories and scenes morphed
by my mind;
thinking what if you're still mine?
But that's just unnecessary, right?
Why do I hold on to you so tight
when we're the greatest being alone?
I guess I'm so used to calling you my home.
I'm getting better, really.
I just hope you are too, baby.

-m.b

To me, it is both
a blessing and a curse
to fall for a writer.

If they love you,
they'll paint the prettiest words for you.
But if they don't,
they'll slash your insides with words too.

To me, it is both
beautiful and terrifying.
I'll keep reading them anyway.

-m.b

She is made of dots. Every dot symbolizes events in her life. From afar, you'd think they are just random sprouts of freckles but behind every spot is a story. Her quietness hides the many dots. I've known from the start that she has a lot more hidden beneath her skin, sprinkled on her bones, pulsing in her veins, throbbing in her brain. Slowly I'm trying to join them together. It could take years and I'll probably die before I finish it but it'll be worth it. She's a brilliant map made of dots. I'm discovering them one by one.

-m.b

Like preschool children during breaktime, my thoughts chase each other in super speed*. Running around in circles with never-ending energy. Even at times when my mind should be resting, I think a lot and even when I know I should be sleeping, even more ideas pop into my head at the darkest of hours. I spend so much time thinking that I usually space out in real life. But honestly, I prefer spending time with myself and indulge in books. Being with people would end up with me being disappointed. I expect too much and in the end, I'll get hurt. Better to imagine than experiencing it though.

-m.b

It's a dark and messy place
up in here. No clear space.
No matter how much you scrub,
more bad things will throw up.
It sends signals throughout
my body. I want to get out.
So if you're reading this and
you feel like you understand,
I'm so sorry. Wish I could help you
but I'm trying to heal too.

-m.b