Hello, how are you?
It's been a while.
I miss you. I really do.
I tried to reach out
but you never responded.
I hope I didn't
do anything wrong.
It hurts. A lot.
Whenever I tried
but you'd leave me on read.

I have so many things
to share with you.
I've grown and experienced
new things but couldn't tell you.
Cause it feels like
I'm speaking to a brick wall.
I feel dumb sometimes;
Getting excited and all
but you never respond.
I guess you need some space.

So if that's what
you need, I understand.
I'll give you that;
time and some space.
Know that I'm always here
if you need anyone.
You know I'm always happy
to have a reunion.
I just wish you could
tell me you're safe and sound.

-m.b

You held my hands
when I was fragile.
Told me legends
of how you saved lives,
like a Knight in shining
armor. You'll save me,
you said. Believing
every word, I gave in.

You held the keys,
stored between your lips.
Said it'll grant me wishes.
But stars turned into dusts,
skies painted over lies.
You promised me a forever
and I was mesmerized.
But you're a curse I thought
was a treasure.

-m.b

How do people bloom from being friends to lovers? How do they start off as strangers, get to know each other and then work their way into each other's hearts? I couldn't picture myself doing so. Being friends is all I can do. Nothing more than that. I feel like continuing further is like stepping into an unknown territory. Kind of like in video games. You know when you're not a gamer but you try to play a game for the first time? Getting to know your character, read the storyline but not knowing what happens next? Getting excited at exploring the new place and gaining points but after some time, you start to wander aimlessly. Not knowing what to do next. How do I break from this? What do people do to go to the next level? After the constant feeling of not knowing, you sort of give up and never pick up the controller anymore. That's what it feels like. To me, love, or rather, romantic relationship, is like trying to play a game you never played before.

-m.b

A shrill bell rung, splitting my attention.
I walked quickly, in hopes of seeing you.
You stood there, my mirth popped by tension.
Sneaking behind her but she said "I know it's you"
She turned and you gently kiss her pink lips.
I turn away, my chest heaving painfully.
I should've known, you loved her all along. I'd dismiss
it again and again. I want otherwise, truthfully.
With blurry vision, I ran blindly; following the pain
in my heart that travels all through my veins and body.
I'm a fool for you, falling hard and quick like the rain.
She's always been your lover and I, your buddy.
I wonder why our paths crossed. You're a trophy
I thought I deserve but I'm just a runner-up.
You keep me up at night, better than shots of coffee.
I want to move on but you have me in tight knots.

-m.b

Where I am now, I never thought I'd be. I know I can't go back to when I was younger, and tell her what will come; what I will become. So I write this letter for all the girls out there, young and old; who haven't heard of this yet.

You are beautiful. Never listen to poison mouths telling you otherwise. Be it you're short, too tall, flat-chested, nose too big, too heavy, with skin that isn't the right shade. Never for a second think you're ugly. You are created this way for a reason, blessed by deities.

You are strong. You have fought every single barrier and you're still breathing. Getting through just one day when you thought you couldn't make it? You did it. I'm proud of you. Your bones are held together by stealth that has been built by generations of warriors. Don't ever let anyone push you around. Get up and fight back. Fight for your rights.

You are loved. Even if you come from a broken family, you're still loved even if you receive it from different people and places. Your friends, your pets, even kind strangers. You may be thirsty for love from people you can't have but always, always fuel yourself with self love. It's so crucial to always secure yourself with a seatbelt of confidence. Keep your head up and remind yourself of your worth. All the time, like a queen that you are.

You are intelligent. You're smarter than you think, be it they're street smart, logically, academically. Read your books, watch documentaries, listen to lectures. You can be smart in science or history or fashion or baking or sports. No knowledge is worthless. Don't be embarrassed to ask questions, share your knowledge, outsmart your enemies.

You are kind. Smile at strangers, keep an eye out for people in danger, always lend a hand and/or ear, hype up your friends and even to unknown people. If someone hurts you, don't stoop down to their level. Let them be but if you aren't satisfied, give them some advice and hope they'll turn over a new leaf. You will not drag the person who brings you down. Fight fire with fire? It'll become a bigger fire. Shield yourself with calamity while they burn on. When they're done, offer help. Be the better person.

You are your own hero. There will be times when you're suffering and alone. That's okay. This is where you can discover your own powers and see how strong and amazing you are. Don't underestimate yourself. You're capable of so many things and you can save others as well as yourself. The world needs you. You're indestructible.

-m.b

If I were to write every thing about you, I would. If I were to write about you every day, I would. You're like a missile; eye-catching, loud, leaves a print behind. It's hard not to record your every move. You're like the Earth; although people have dissected and has proven what's inside of you, they haven't really scavenged inside. Who knows what else is hiding in between your many layers? Stripping apart like getting home after spending a day in the open snow, tearing off each piece of clothing.

-m.b

My mind is bleeding
with words. Every morning
I would puke. I'm over thinking
again. Only when I'm sleeping,
I could taste serenity. Dreaming
of things we could be. How interesting.
Then I'll wake up with my demons kicking,
I wish it'd stop obsessing.

-m.b

I'm that person that you would befriend
just to get close to my pretty friends,
sisters or cousins.
I'm that person who'll be there for you when
you're bored and you need to pass time.
I'm that person who you turn to rant
but once you feel better,
you disappear.

"Thank you for being
there for me.
You're a good friend," they'll
Say. Sometimes not at all.
They say I'm great to be friends with
and although I appreciate it,
sometimes it gets tiring.

I'm tired of being that person where I would
make an effort to look good
but no one would bat an eye
and think I'm pretty.
I'm tired of being that person who gets
to listen to someone I like very much,
talking about who they like.
I'm tired of being that person who listens
to people but no one listens to me when
I need someone to talk to.

Thank you for trusting me and
for appreciating me as a friend
But you're another reason why I'm wondering
what I did wrong as I stay in alone
on Saturday nights,
date-less.

-m.b

Sad days are here again.
Sad days are here to play.
Sad days, you came back.
Back so soon?

It's the little things; they make me sad. I often brush them away. I'll sweep it into a tiny corner, at the back of my mind, until one day. Without me realizing it, becomes a tall mountain of sadness.

A small, painless kick sends the mountain into an explosion; crashing down like an avalanche. Leaving me a crying mess, hiding behind closed doors like a forgotten ragged doll; sad and feeling empty.

"I'm sorry I woke up late. I was too comfortable being under the blanket of crocheted sadness. I wanted to keep my eyes shut; devoid of the real world. I wanted to keep dreaming of things I couldn't have. I'm sorry I got up so late. Truth is, I didn't want to wake up. *Because getting up would bring me even more pain and misery."

-m.b

Said I was done with you but I guess I lied.
Said I moved on but I guess I lied.
Said I wasn't jealous of her but I guess I lied.
Said I feel numb already but I guess I lied.
Said I was done looking for you but I guess I lied.
Said I won't take care of you anymore but I guess I lied.

The only thing I didn't lie about was
my worth. Cause I really do deserve better.

-m.b

I deserve a guy like that;
a person so kind,
it radiates from within.
Lighting up his eyes and
so blinding
through his lips
when he smiles.

With careful, gentle hands
that touches you with caution,
so that you're always safe.
In short, I deserve a
nice guy (like him).

Cause bad boys will make your heart race,
but they'll never keep you safe.

-m.b

Poetry** is me
in my rawest form.
You'll get to know all the deep
stuff about me. Secrets thrown
in carefully picked
symbols, analogies, words;
set in lines. I'm an open book.
All you have to do is read.
And listen. Cause all I do
is scream in poetry.
If you want the truth,
you'll know where to find me.

-m.b

If love can get lost, then
it can be found.
If a person couldn't appreciate you,
doesn't mean someone else won't, too.
If flowers can bloom after a hurricane,
then you too, can.
Just because you're sad now,
doesn't mean you will be forever.
Everything takes time. Have faith.
Good things, they come in waves.

-m.b

I fall too fast,
too easily.
I get hurt just as
quickly and deeply
too.

-m.b

I've moved on but clearly it still pains me.
I can't help the building insecurity
when I look in her direction.
It has always been a distraction.
Perhaps one day I'll recover;
The hurt, the envy, they won't be here much longer.

-m.b

He still loves you. Even when you broke his heart by rejecting him many times. I know you didn't expect him to fall this hard for you. I know you felt like you led him on simply because you were confused at a certain time; you felt comfortable that someone cares this much for you, you almost thought you liked him back. However, you realised you didn't feel the same way for reasons you know (or don't) but there's a gut feeling that tells you, you two are not meant to be. And so, with a heavy heart, you rejected him again and again. Softly at first, then harder next. Because he needs to know the truth: you're just not that compatible.

Then you meet someone else. You feel it, don't you? This time it's real. But he's still pining for you. I know you feel the guilt slowly suffocating you when you watch his crestfallen face when he catches you looking at your partner adoringly. I know you feel bad but he'll find someone else. You can't force yourself to like him back, no matter how sweet he is to you. It's a messy, confusing and painful experience but it's inevitable. You just need to give some space for both of you to untangle the knots. Give him time to heal. Eventually both of you will find your own happiness, and you know it isn't from each other. Someday the love he gave you will come back to him in waves and he'll be thankful you rejected him. But for now, it isn't anyone's fault.

-m.b

So many moving mouths
telling me to be careful
whenever I'd step out of the house.
They knew I was young, a fool.

"Don't give yourself to
just anyone, you hear me?
They'll play with you like a tool."
Not gonna lie, it sounded scary.

But I thought you were okay.
The laid back body, the easy
smile, like a sun's ray.
Funny jokes, though a little cheesy.

Your words coming out like waterfall,
tumbling into my easy ears.
Stifled giggles in the silent hall.
I was at the peak of my teenage years.

You pulled me gently and I,
an eager, curious subject,
succumbed to the twinkle in your eye.
You filled my empty longing ache.

I wanted it to be like
how I dreamed it to be.
This is how you do it, right?
Then why am I not happy?

You seemed contented
and I played along.
"You wanna go again?" I hinted.
Maybe I did it wrong.

But they say when it's right,
you would feel it.
There's no doubt.
My cheeks warm, humiliation bit.

This is what they warned me about.
I gave a piece of me to him
but he left it on the ground;
Just like the clothes when the lights dimmed.

When I woke up, I was alone.
My vision was blurry
as I can't call him on the phone.
Could someone please bury me?

-m.b

Dear Eros, get your arrows ready
to let it fly.
Isn't this what you do best?
I'm probably your fave subject;
What with the countless arrows you've
struck with.
I'm probably painted with over a
hundred wounds.
Is unrequited love my muse?
Or do you and Aphrodite do this out of amuse-
ment? I've fallen for so many people
and they never work out.
What is this all about?
You're close to testing me doubt
my worth;
But I won't let you.
I'm weak-kneed when it comes to
romantic love but
your prophecy won't alter my
life completely.

-m.b

I would pause reading,
turn the volume down
of my favourite song,
take a break from
eating a good meal just
to listen to you talk.
Not out of politeness,
but I just really like
to hear how your day
went. How your eyes would
light up, twinkle, and dance.
It'll put me in a good mood.

-m.b

Unrequited love unites
the lonely people*.
This is why I write.
People like you make me
want to write out
the frustration,
the hurt,
the longing.
So in a way,
thank you for the pain.

-m.b

There are two types of the word "crush-able". The first is the type that people would easily have a crush on. They got it all: the looks, intelligence, talent, humor, everything. It's hard to not fall for them the minute you lay eyes on them. You're attracted to them like a magnet. The second is the type that's easily crushed. Constantly getting hurt by the people around them, especially the ones they like or admire. They've gone through it all: getting rejected, ignored, pushed aside, not even second best, just..not a choice. Again and again and again. No surprise, I'm the latter.

I'm not the type of girl that people would crush on. I'm always the good friend. That's okay. I'll accept that. But it's always until there. That's the farthest I'll ever go with anyone. No matter how close we are, no matter how much we click; I've never been the special kind of person that they want to take to the next level. Maybe just foolishly flirting here and there, but they never take me seriously. No, I'm just their best friend.

The one who picks up the pieces when no one does, the one who sits quietly by your side when you're crying, the one who listens when you go on and on about this fantastic person you're drooling over, the one who eats with you when you don't feel like being in a large crowd cause you don't think you look your best but being with me is okay cause "Hey, you're my buddy. It's alright." Yeah I'm that girl. Always there for you, covering up your lies, tell you what's the homework you missed when you skipped class, getting text after text of "Can you do me a favor?.. Great, I owe you one. You're the best!"

It seems like I'm cursed to be everyone's friend. Again, it's not a bad thing. I just wish, for once, I'm the first type of crush-able. I wish someone would look at me like I put the stars in the sky and I make the waves crash on the sand. That I invented beauty with brains. I just wish someone would think highly of me the way I keep thinking of the people in my life. Of loving me the way I've loved my crushes before. And doing so sincerely. Not because I keep complaining, but because they genuinely love me for me.

-m.b

Listening to your songs have always been personal and intimate. It's like inhaling your favourite cologne. It has you imprinted in it. You embedded in my brain.

Your songs; they're like a secret gateway to your mind and personality. It's getting to know you in a raw, honest way. Through beats, lyrics and riffs.

It's a way to understand your  emotions and thoughts running through your head when you connect to songs you listen to. It's you subconsciously choosing particular songs for every moment.

-m.b

He was a demigod who tricked his dad, Zeus. When he got caught, he was killed and then cursed for an eternity; denied of food and drinks. He was made to stand in a stream of crystal water under apple trees. However, every time he were to reach for the fruit or bend down to drink, he'll be eternally denied.

To me, that's how it feels like loving you. You're right in front of me. Every thing I ever wanted but you're out of reach. All I could do is look at you in hunger of your touch and love. Longing fiercely to know what it feels like to have you in my grasp. Wanting a taste of you at least once. The question is; what did I do to ******* the gods for cursing me this way? Why does it feel like I'm eternally ******?

-m.b

I hope that when you sleep tonight
your chest will hurt a little less,
your tears won't reach the pillow
and hope will bloom in your heart.

Honey, after everything you've gone through,
you deserve to have a good night's rest.
Minimize the volume of that sadness
and heal yourself. You deserve better than this.

I know your heart went through war
with emotions. That you feel things deeply
and I love that about you. But tonight,
I want you to make peace with yourself.

-m.b

I found a piece of writing from two years ago, asking if there's a guy out there with specific characteristics. I listed them all out. When I read it today, I got chills because I found him. I forgot that I wanted to be with a guy like this. Somehow he matched all the traits I wanted. He ticked off all the characteristics that I was looking for. It was unexpected but I found him. He's real.

The sad thing is, I can't be his because someone else is lucky enough to get him first. I'm happy for them but it's a tragic affair for me. My ideal guy is right in front of me and I can't even do anything. My wish came true but it wasn't made for me. It's like playing slots and I hit the jackpot but they gave the money to someone else in the room. And I could only watch them celebrate from afar.

-m.b

To me, it is both
a blessing and a curse
to fall for a writer.

If they love you,
they'll paint the prettiest words for you.
But if they don't,
they'll slash your insides with words too.

To me, it is both
beautiful and terrifying.
I'll keep reading them anyway.

-m.b

Some people find
solace in words,
some people find
solace in music.
Some people find
solace in paintings,
but I find solace
in your voice.
You reciting stories,
slow and steady;
luring me in
with your eyes
and waving hands.
I am hopelessly
trapped in your
hypnotizing existence.

-m.b

Find a person with a broken piece,
I'll hold them and assure them peace.
I say "I'll be here for you, I won't leave
I'll be your anchor, won't let you adrift."

I'm the glue, you see.
I'll fix you for free.
No matter how long it takes;
No matter how rough it gets.

I will fix you when you're undone,
I'm the shield to keep you from harm.
And when you're healed and strong,
this is the part where I don't belong.

Cause I'm the glue, you see.
You'll leave when you're free.
I wish I didn't get too attached, but that's just how it goes.
I'll carry a piece of you and I'll miss you most.

-m.b

when did i become like this?
saying sorry, over and over.
apologizing for things that
i didn't even do. feeling so
guilty at the tiniest things
even if i am not part of it.
the things i couldn't even
control yet i feel so bad,
i start scolding myself.
who taught me that? who
made me turn this way?
did i get hurt so many
times, i turn to blaming
myself for every little
inconvenience caused?
when will i stop saying
sorry when it does not
concern me? i'm sorry.

-m.b

All my life I wished of
someone like you.
I never thought it'd
come true.
But here you are.
With flaws here
and there but
it's okay.
It's what makes you
human --- and real.
But life plays a cruel
game. You're here, yes.
But you're awestruck
just as I am,
but to another girl.
So now, a guy like you
is still out of reach for me.

-m.b

There was silence.
And silence and silence and silence.
I could only meet you in my dreams.
Of your smile and you saying I'm okay.
Of me saying it's okay, you're forgiven.
We'd reunite and be happy again.
Then I'd wake up. Then there's silence.
There's silence and silence and silence.

-m.b

Heavy rain,
Heavy breathing.
What is this pain
I am feeling?

Is it being in your presence
But I couldn't call you mine?

-m.b

"Pretty, pretty boy
Why did you catch my heart,
rolled and smoked it;
leaving it to bits of ashes.
Only for your cool friends
to talk over a cold bottle
or two;
How there wasn't a me and you?"
She sang in her lonely kitchen
on a quiet Sunday night.

-m.b

So is this how it'll be?
From our first shy conversations,
to discussing our favorite books and songs,
the midnight confessions,
the daily I love yous,
the constant motivation,
the laughing,
the loving,
the missing.

It started with missing.
Time took its toll on us.
We were too busy to talk.
That was okay.
We loved each other still.
We understood.
It's okay.
But it wasn't.

We stopped talking.
We missed each other.
So now it has come to this;
the Sorry, I was busy.
The It's okay. How are you?
The I'm good. What about you?
The That's great to hear. I'm okay.
Then silence.
We moved on.
That's it?
We love each other still right?
We'll rekindle right?
Right?

-m.b

She loves me, she loves me not,..
I picked the petals off the flowers.
I was bathing in the sunlight,
Wearing the yellow dress you love so much.

She loves me, she loves me not,..
I said with each petal plucked.
Pretty, like the love you brought.
And the happiness that came with it.

She loves me, she loves me,..*
I stopped. I wanted it to stop.
Back when we loved each other a lot.
Tearing up, I threw away the bouquet.

-m.b