I woke up with thoughts of you in my head
I guess they never really left my bed
I can feel my heart breaking
But at least i'm feeling something

I can't speak
Because if i do, sand will spill
As my love is countless
But i'm afraid you'll leave it
Lying there, a mess
I wish you'd put it into a bottle
safe and yours alone

Far away
You're so far away
But even so
I still stay
Hoping for our someday

Woke up
Just another day
Everything's the same
Like the way i say your name

You are only alive in the words I write and the ones I could never say.

I lit another cigarette and as I watch the smoke trailing from my mouth, I realized that the way I love you is no different than this vice.
It destroys me, makes me ache all over and my lungs take in every molecule of oxygen like its their first...that's the way I feel when I think of you.
I know that it's bad for me but I can't let go of it same as my love for you which you will never return. I want to say I love you but I'm afraid you would not say it back;just like I want to continue living but I can't resist finishing another pack.
The flames catch on and I'm surrounded by smoke like sadness whispering and waiting for comfort. I know I should stop but I can't.

Maybe I'll quit until I can't go on anymore.

Am I talking about the cigarette or you?

Well, the chemicals swirling in my bloodstream can possibly take my life but you refuse to be in mine. A broken heart is infinitely more painful than a frail body.

So I smoke one after another so I won't tell the difference between my lungs gasping for air and my heart aching for you.

I grasp your limbs with both hands as if they are lifelines to which my reality is tethered to.
Your emptiness called on me to fill it.

I held your hand as i hear the pieces of your heart slowly clatter to the ground, breaking with every teardrop you let go of.
And i catch all of them like a little girl with hands outstretched under the fleet of snowfall for the very first time.

I held on.
I held on to you.
And you did too.

For once, I don't feel like floating towards an endless sky.
I did not crave to disappear like a shadow in the dark.

I felt gravity through you as if i'm a helium balloon tied to your wrist.

So you can see how much hold you have on me.
I can give you this and everything i can see.

If i could ask just for one thing: please don't let go of me.