What have I become-
What am I becoming-
The noise is simply more than I can bear...
And I cannot give a reason for
The changing of the season but
The noise is simply more than I can bear.

Being is futile,
Can’t anyone see
That all is lost?
Lifeless and colorless,
We are all bound
To one inescapable fate.
We are all confined
To voracious obsessions,
Compulsions, possessions,
And the constant need
To have more.
This ignorance is shameful,
There’s no getting out of this,
The swimming of seas
That pull you below and
Drown you senseless;
The grinding of chains
And gears turn round and round
Never slower, never faster.
There’s no getting out of this,
Lifeless and colorless,
We are all bound
To the grinding of chains
And gears that go round.

Love it lacks sedated need
Breeding faith in sick distrust
Empty time that does not heed
But feeds the longing for disgust

I did this to myself--
A sort of memory infection that can't die,
But when I blink my tired eyes
I swallow it back down again.
I know that someday the ice will melt.

You're walking down the boulevard
Hands in your pocket, head down toward the sidewalk
Wet and shiny with summer rain
It's not quite forgotten, or figured out
Certainly not forgiven, so you freeze a moment
You feel the brick in your gut all over again
And keep walking as you try to think of something else
But it is not as easy to try to escape
The songs, the rhymes, the smells, the mirage
Wonder why you wasted your time
You're walking down the boulevard
Hands in your pocket, head down toward the sidewalk
Wet and shiny with summer rain
It's not quite sound, not quite relieved
Certainly not a distant memory
You feel it's just like yesterday
And keep walking as you try to think of something else
But it's easier said than done
The red, biting, foolish, falling in love.

I want you
To be my solution
You don't have a face but
You've got my resolution
And that's to take me home to
Take me any place to really
Anywhere at all and
Wrap my wounds in lace just
Take me home.

Looking at the noise but
I am thinking of her
Once again the girl she
Had blonde hair and her
Fingers intertwined with
Mine but she was gone
The crowd declined I
Drank too much was
Feeling fine her body of
Divine design her hands
They slipped so swift from mine
Another night, another time and
Place that I can't quite define
So I try to let her slip my mind.

You *******
You love me like
You're trapped you
can't get out and
tell me one more time
It won't make a difference
Biding time for nothing now
You'll never find your place
Wishing you could have my hand
Needs replaced, a chased embrace

Brightest blue I would ever see
My being would not find its place
I believe in it to some degree
Perfect body blurry face

Night riding through desert sands
Letting casualties bleed out
They know the way to better lands
Escape the ever spreading drought

Seems like blinking isn't worth it
One moment infant's next decline
Like sleep's cruel joke that only blurs it
Dreadful art's deranged design

Like a massacre
I watch them fall
One by one they die
Pale and lifeless bodies pile
I stand near hearing
"Wind the music, wind the music"
But it never gets any louder
And something tells me
Everything has changed
What has come to pass
Was never meant to last.

Feeling the cool breeze, I opened a window
Wearing nothing but a beater and
I lie upon my mattress thinking
"She's My Baby."
I am never more comfortable than now
When I smell the Earth and
She belongs to me.

I am running out of words
Nothing far from repetition
Trekking where the map goes blank
A leadless pencil,  mute musician
Dry as pages white and barren
Empty echo, breathless lung
Walking paths that lead to sirens
Sing the song that can't be sung

I am sorry for you
your tragic land it
saddens me and it
makes you ill the
place you thought would
save your life it's
draining it I
miss you so
little I can
do from here you
spin out further
and I only
nod my head
I am powerless
don't fade away.

Nothing is like this picture
It plays the same each time
White sheets brighter under sunlight
You lie on your side, there's nothing better
I stare into you to see if you look away
But you smile and blink your morning eyes
And this moment has to last forever
Because if it won't my heart will sever
Twisted sheets that measure pleasure
Keep me tangled up with you

There exists this one type of sauce
It's hot and this sauce is the boss
Put it on eggs, pizza, or toast
All of the snacks that we love the most
No matter the cost, there's never a loss
When it comes to the boss, hot sauce.

****** Colombiana
Dressed in red
Her name was Ana
Leaned in close
She named her price
Expensive taste
Aim to entice
Desperado,  El Caballero
Like Cisco Kid
The hall was narrow
Was on her knees
Always prayed
In his pocket
Underpaid
En Colombia la vida loca
Slowly reached
Her skin like mocha
A forty-five
To Ana’s head
Mucho dinero
****** dead

This can be our little game,
We can do it once, maybe,
But I won’t roll the dice again
And I am not your baby, maybe
I will let you play once more
And you can place your bet and
Then I’ll return the favor to
Remind you you’re in debt;
You owe yourself some consequence
Roll over, just keep still but
I can still persuade your strings and
Make you dance against your will.

Lost days
Thoughts, waves
Used things
Sweet, forever
Secret dreams,
Your acid face.
Light the match,
It never burns,
So instead we drown and
Play, watching, waiting
While they breathe lies,
It gets clearer.
This needs change and
We surrendered hazily;
Maybe it isn’t hopeless.

Piano played softly
Sets the tone for a mood,
Looking out the window
Watching life roll by
All things surrendered
It is just me and you now.
Sooner or later, the truth will come out.
It will all come down to
A barrel in my mouth,
My foot on the edge
And in that moment,
One way or another
I will be enlightened.
For God and all things holy
Put your foot on the brake.
Over and out,
Houston, we have a problem.
Intricacies are tangling me,
I go blue in the face.
Discharge the patient,
Scalpel please
Hands where I can see them
Get down on your knees.
Watch them saunter away
This summer day
It's not what you woke up for.
Could’ve sworn there was sun,
Thought I remembered the heat
With my finger on the trigger
To you it tastes sweet.

Each morning, the earth and sky meet,
At first lightly touching, eventually adjoining,
And finally presenting a blend of color,
A spectrum of pink, orange, and gold…
In all their glory.
The trumpets sound, signifying a new day,
Unlike every other, yet it is still Monday.
It seems the birds and insects congregate,
Preparing an intricate symphony,
An orchestra of billions of noises,
Each his own.
And still no one knows
Who has danced upon the grass,
Sprinkling flawless, spherical drops
Of water, frosted with glittering crystal,
Onto the earth on which we walk,
That seems so common by ten ‘o clock.
And shameful, I feel at times
When I miss the air at its cleanest
By an hour or two, or more;
When I miss the symphonic chirps,
The dampened grass and rainbow sky,
I am mournful.
Thought it seems I always recall
The orchestra performs again tomorrow
Around the time of dawn.

Someday I shall dwell
In a townhouse by the square
Surrounded by a picket fence
Which guards yellow daffodils
The color of butter, the scent of cheer.
A strip of the town shall be laid
In cobblestone, each side of the road
Embellished with tall, San Francisco buildings
Each its own, and each a new hue.
In the morning I will wake
The same time as the sun
And amble down the seashore
Discerning every seafull, eyeing every seashell,
I shall smile as the wet sand
Squelches through my toes
And the tide comes in,
For I will be happy.
In the afternoons, I’ll laze about,
Meet a friend for coffee,
I shall linger at the bay where the ferries come in
Smell the salt as it spritzes my skin.
There will be a cheerful man on Mondays
Who pushes a white cart up and down streets
Wielding balloons of every color
For giggly children, hands covered in lollipop residue.
I shall smile at night
When the moon rules the sky
And gleams through my window,
For I will be happy.

Feel like I am
Being stretched too thin I am
A hundred years old, maybe
More and for some reason
I am thinking I
Am trapped here forever when
I would give anything, everything
To get out, and each minute is
Like another year's sentence I am
An inmate in my own prison,
What is the purpose of this?

Driving, driving
Down this secluded, dusty road,
It’s dark, the night
And I’m driving.
I’m alone, but I’m not lonely
Just have to get there,
Where ever I’m going,
But it’s this shadowy path,
This illusory feeling…
Unreal it is, and tells me so,
When I’ve truly stopped breathing
When I’ve accepted I’m drowning.
These trees, this road, they melt away,
Slowly I slip
Out of consciousness and I don't mind, feels
Right, feels meant to be.

I'm like time just
Days away, love.
Smile, I feel I
need blue sky,
Say "free fall,"
and sleep,
Make moments fly
and
Lost hands won' t do it,
you're a little late, and
it won't air out
under the weight of the sand,
it's something great,
just days away, love.

It seems all the time like
Life ensnares you and
Makes you think twice when
You try to be present in
The moments of bliss but
So often we
Are only aware
Of the moments we all wish that
Life would spare
Us because
Time is never kind it
Makes sure my
Back is turned
When the stars are aligned.

Addicted I
Cannot stop my
Fleshly prowess
That twists you up
Something about it
Needs immersion
Drowns your drought it’s
Complicated but devout it’s
Craving fruit that
You’re deprived the
Pleasure and the
Pulse survive and you
Must drink it
From my hive
The itch that
Makes the honey thrive
A primal need
That makes you plead I
Feed the mouths
That sow the seed and
Though I can take from whom
I choose I
Cannot deny I want it too.

Take a gamble
Odds are you will
Have to lose
But you can choose
An offer you will not
Refuse she's waiting
To become your muse
A little bored but
More amused this hand's
A straight get
Too  confused to
Play your cards or
Discern the hues the
Black from white
You get abused
Wake up she's gone
Your money too and
All that's left an
Awful bruise.

Your smile makes me laugh
‘Till the sky turns pink
And the hills in the air melt away;
Every single thing you say
Meets with comprehension
And you need not fret
For mortification because
I will always already know,
I will always recognize
Your pleasing high
Contagious to me which
Causes the deepest amusement,
It could split one’s sides.

Why must blue be blue?
She asked, in a frustrating
But worthy attempt to
Unlock one of millions of secrets;
She didn’t know that the purpose
In life is not to find the answers
But to withstand the suffering
Curiosity brings.
In lieu of investigating the unknown,
Embracing mystery like the future ahead
Presents a precious gift, that is the ability
To find apathy in where we go
When the soul is dead, when we transcend.

You look at me like love just
Like you used to and
For a minute I fall for it into it
Back six months
Back a year.
You are a liar.

I gave you the sleeper hold
Just for a while
And we are so far away
But it was always that smile
That drew us together
Bonnie and Clyde
Want to drown you in agony
Float away with the tide
But you reeled me back in
The worst kind of ride and
Words were the poison
The blood I would bide
Not quite what was planned for
When you’re better off dead
Lying abreast in
A lamentable bed.
We floated together
But you hit a snag and
No one can hear you when you're
Sunk, bound, and gagged.

I will now proceed
To the toilet and
*****. Why must
Love die so short
Of life? I
Can feel it
Coming up it is
Only a matter
Of time before
We crash, we
Collide, and
If everything
You love will
Die, who am
I, what’s
You and I?

Wealth and Glamour,
What you see
Everything you long to be.
Resentment, Rage,
What I’ve found,
It’s the chain to which I’m bound.
So let’s play lovers,
You and Me
In my violent fantasy.
Lest we forget
This bares no strings—
You tie my hands,
I’ll rip your wings.

'Tis summer I yearn
When sun faithfully burns
'Tis green grass I covet
When shall winter turn?
The sun I see when light wakes morn
Eyes created, long lashes born
And meant to see all that I love
But when flakes fall my heart is torn.
The young, they cry, and waves, they peel
'Tis the water I need, the salt I feel
My true meaning and reason why
Some things a dream and others real.

This is going to hurt
A little and
I see you fret
You flick your cigarette
You seem afraid, this
Game we've played it's
Safe to say the
Look on your face is
One of knowing
I will abuse you
It's too late 'cause
I made you wait you
Have to have it
Got you now you're
Going blue you
Want me to.

She is nothing but an
Incubus for self-pity she's
Pathetic she sits and she
Creates senseless thoughts
And she wails and rots from
The inside out and without
A doubt she will dig
Deep into this hole where
There are others to blame for
Her obvious flaws
She drowns herself senseless
And I'm just in awe there's
No excuse for this
Amiss I
Have no empathy for you
You disgust me.

So tired of
Swearing I see
A light at the end
Of this god-forsaken tunnel but
Each time I've almost reached it
It goes out and
I toss and turn at night
Try to turn this around but
It is stuck in reverse I
Think I've got a handle but
Each time it all slips away
And at the end of the day I
Know there is not a way it is
Hopeless.

I am so ashamed
That I can't shake
The feeling you gave me
All such a mistake I'm
Wretched for falling
For seductive delusions
A catch-22, a drunken
Confusion in which
You have been spellbound
And me, exposed bare
I just want to be free of you
Such a useless affair I'm
Tearing my hair out over you.

Why
Am I always standing at the crossroads?
There has got to be a reason I am star-crossed
I am
Punished, there has to be
There is but
I do not have much time I
Have to match
The reason, the rhyme with
My inescapable fate but
I am standing at the crossroads
A minute too late

I
Am an English Major.
Numbers **** ***,
And I keep trying to pass it
But I'm stuck in this class.
My homework's due in three hours
But I'm rhyming instead,
I
Am an English Major
Who would rather be dead.
Or go to bed.
Or eat bread.
Just not do math.
****

Every man has a price
I’ll only lead him astray
And I’ll do it in cold blood
How much will you pay?

You poison my mind
Keep me up at night
I toss and turn
But when I switch off that light
You still drive me crazy
Even though you aren’t here
I reach, but can't feel you
Don't smell any beer
And then I roll over
And I am lying alone
You are worlds away
But you won’t call my phone
Can’t stand my thoughts of you
Each night I slumber
But it kills you too
Because I changed my number

In dreams I am so far from here
This place it gets me low
The snow, I feel it coming
To drown me in my woe

Back and forth from the road and her mailbox
It’s empty every time
He tries to find the master plan
His letter is her rhyme.

Brown-eyed girl
I draw them in with my eyes
Always such a surprise they
Cannot let me go I
Curse them so and they
Latch onto a substance that
Will let them be free what
They cannot understand is
It will always be me because
Once I have got you, you cannot forget
I’m a Russian roulette I’m a
Desirous bet I’m a game of poker
That you have already lost but
This game’s on the table
No matter the cost I’m your price
That you pay when you think you
Have won but when you tie off
To have me you’ll see you’ve done what's
Become quite the fight, a hopeless pursuit
For this trail of honey, I'm
Forbidden fruit.

I want to shake you
But I can’t, ‘cause I hate you
In the way that
I love you when I say that
It’s too late we
Exhausted each other
With you I can’t win
It's your resolution
Of what's never been
How dare you think you’re
Allowed in my dreams when
I told you
You're just a mistake
But still you stay
In that part of my mind
You intrude when I’m ******* awake
I care not where you have been
I never want to see you again.

Remember you I
Hate to admit I had you
You and your **** smile

Exhaling the smoke
Winding my way through my thoughts
Oh, marijuana