Remember your eyes
Got caught in your smile and I
Still hate your tattoos

Doldrums
Like patterns
They repeat
The buzzing
A fly
In the distance
Still loud
Though muffled
The same
In the end.

One day
Of tranquility
I ask for
My Sabbath;
I am asphyxiating
From the theft
Of my infancy;
Cheated…
Out of tenderness and innocence.
What is
Momentous
About these things
We twist our spines for,
From which we make sacrifice?
My Sabbath,
I need.
It shall entail
A calm oasis, a breezy field
Ice cold water, citrus scent
A billion smiles and sky blue eyes
Two welcome arms
For while I lie;
Lament for distance
Of fifty lives
That are not mine,
That aren’t my time.
My Sabbath,
A drunken reverie
On a cool, clear reservoir
Viewing the sea, drifting away;
My Sabbath
For only
Today.

An odd thing, the sunrise,
For the moon doesn’t sting my eyes.
But each night the moon I’m expecting,
Yet the sun’s always such a surprise.

Sleepy and sluggish,
Unable to move or talk
Yet I cannot bring my eyelids to close.
So tired, so awake.
Luscious, sweet, melting sensation
Breeding on my tongue.
The soft blanket,
Warm and like a safe haven,
A body guard protecting me
Against wrong, against harm…
Against harsh reality.
A simple gift,
The soft skin glowing
While the crack between
The window shades
Exposes the snow,
Each flake on its way to the ground
With a secret,
With a message.
But they melt every time,
And never shall we know
The mysteries these
Trillions of tiny ice crystals
Have to tell the earth, but
I know
My very own
Tired secret.

Stay close to me
My life is
The red light district
You just cannot see it.
And you do not ask,
Makes me forget.
It is all an enormous lie.

I’m an elaborate drawing
Sketched ebony gray
Simple and smooth
Lines drawn only one way
Erase and redraw
Start it over again
But each time it’s the same
Only endless in pen

Nothing more than a parachute
I am drifting high in the sky
Think I will never come down
‘Till I hit the ground
Strollin’ through life
Surroundings passing me by
Like I am trudging through mud
Don’t have veins, got no blood

The most beautiful maiden
Bears dismal mannerisms
That are perpetually incurable.
The most inviting thing
About a spiritless ******
Is the inexorable flame
In her eyes.
She fondles her necklace
And closes her eyes and
Swears not to smile.
She says,
“This one is fatal, and
Forever. I will not be saved,”
Calmly and remains lull.
Why is it that
The most memorable romance
Is a crumbled heart that cannot be fixed,
But cannot be forgotten and
It is insufferably brutal
But it is a flower to the eyes.
An enormous negation,
Yet pure substantiation,
A correct falsehood.
So swollen and senseless,
A crumpled letter
She fingers with those perfect hands
That she reads over and over
But it never makes any sense.

“Go,” I said,
Like it was too late but
I knew that it was not.
Slow motion, under water,
A painful sleep
Disrupted by an apologetic embrace,
Watch me let go.
It is like warmth,
Impossible to escape
But I want to stay.
Lovers together, walking,
Talking, thinking…
The most peaceful thing
I have ever seen, I believe
The sun and the water…
Every noise, strengthens the bond.
My stomach in my throat,
Time given as a gift
Like it is solid and
I hate to admit it,
But you are the opposite of me,
I can’t stand you sometimes
And you talk in your sleep.

Hard to say how the years have passed
And you may wonder how I lingered
And where the past has been
These last two months.
Love has the wings of an eagle,
And at times it seems far away…
Remains present in the worst of frustrations,
Disappears on the brightest of days.
Can you tell me, my dear,
Where the sweet, sweet days went and
The long, warm nights and
Where that pleasure has been
These last two months.
You have got the face of an angel,
With the eyes I could not resist…
But I noticed so rarely these evenings,
The fixation that I used to miss.

The riffs I put on repeat
Never felt the same to him;
So difficult and different,
The cool, clear liquor in which I swim.
Always running, pages turning
Painful blows and silent doses,
Doesn't matter where we go
Can't fight this timely diagnosis.
The throes of passion pulled me under,
Loving waves and first afflictions,
Prescription for a vile infection
Of the heart’s disease, the soul’s addiction.

Tepid air and t-shirt sheets,
I lay dormant, yet thoughtful
As the wind of various methods
Of transportation whisper in my ear
From afar.
My eyelids linger open,
Burdensome, but somehow comfortable
And I like my skin bare
Whilst the wind floats on through.
A dry cough keeps me awake,
Like I have been in a drought
For weeks, for months
So rash, so longing.
A full breath I take, but
Always interrupted and
A cool stream of water’s
Not a cure in the least.
Tepid air and t-shirt sheets,
I lay dormant and I like my skin bare.

I am weary.
Bright pink and
Blue jeans,
Comforting arms.
A mood undefinable,
Sad and rejoiced,
Unfortunately fortunate.
The wind carries the
Water which falls…
Spatters, drips
On me.
Careless I am, but
Confused and lost yet,
Happy and content.
Bright pink and
Blue jeans,
The sunrise.

A day of triumph it is
When I walk away
And do not look back
…For a moment, at least.
It ceases appearing
To be a moment
Which I grip with my
Utmost strength and
Intertwine every hazy night
With my eager fingertips but
Alas, it falls away,
Always slipping out of my hold.
A piece of it I will forever cherish
As I softly smile and
My recollection breaks free
As if it were a slideshow;
In the background tender music plays.
Waves crash so far beyond me
I can only wonder how, why but
Instead I let the salt burn and
Am welcome home with a cheers,
Those eternal clinking glasses,
Broken bottles, deep sleep
Beginning at dawn when the music
Stops playing;
All to repeat as the fireflies glow and
Mosquitoes they sting and the itching’s so great
And maybe, a lover to
Drag up the stairs and
Unmake the bed with but
Alas, it falls away.

It seems old flames
Can be rekindled quite quickly,
Or perhaps never went out at all.
There is not much sense in extinguishing fire
When it is light you need to guide the way.
These peaks we climb,
Are not something we plan for.
But always we find a message
Hidden in adventures.
The long-windedness of days
Identical to the one before,
In the dark and confused,
Is expected and accepted, but wrong.
For we come out with the message,
Disembark with a lesson,
'Twas a candle that lit the way.
Seldom do we treasure it
For what it is worth.
When I emerged
And was equipped with light
I found myself asking
Why I left without it.

I am trying to feel, you see
It is me, numb from the core but
Always wanting more yet
Obsessing
Over a chance to be free.
I feel nothing. I see nothing;
Dust in the wind
Never a worry
Of whether I’ve sinned and I’ve
Lost it all I’ve lost everything
And I’m standing here
In front of the ocean
Please, just let me fly it’s
Going, going, going, gone
The beat to the song,
The rhythm to the rhyme
One more time, teach me please
To get down on my knees so
You’ll listen when I say
I’ve lost everything.

Smile, eyes glitter,
Fingers grip,
In your eyes…
You don’t know.
In front of the world,
We have each other,
You keep me sane,
You keep me clean
In your eyes.
Can’t break it off,
Something intangible
And unique which
I am unfamiliar with,
In your eyes
It’s love.
Facing the ocean
Vulnerable front and back
You let go for once and
Swing in the breeze,
You sway like you’ve never
Opened your mind to a
World I can show you,
Lovely and brand new,
In your eyes.

Someday I’ll watch
The sun fall in the evening
When the stars barely glisten
And feel the breeze blowing,
I’ll be happy in this.

Nothing kind about a day like today,
The dismal thoughts match dismal gray.
Can only see the clouds this way
Clouds my mind, my world today.
The only light shone barely through
Nothing’s color, nothing moves.
Nothing takes the world’s hue,
It’ll never go from gray to blue
At least that’s how the dreary feel,
Like getting worse when nothing heals
And breeds this everlasting wheel
It's only false, it’s never real.
Yes, the funeral wheel it clouds my head,
Don’t feel alive, but not quite dead
Which keeps the lingering sadness fed
Just eats black, mind’s morbid bread.

I’ll fall in love with every street corner,
I’ll fall madly in love with the sea,
And I’ll think of every grain of sand;
It’s where I need to be.
The only place that lets me breathe,
The only place for me.

Wishing for sleep it’s
Five AM and a train’s going by,
I can hear the tracks rumble,
Wide awake couldn’t tell you why just
Feel it’s only eight or nine.
The air is humid, the weather’s for wine
And I'm quite well, I'm feeling fine I'm
Always a fool for time.

Watching Richy
Sleep and snore and
Stretch his paws.
To him
Time isn’t passing.
This moment’s just lasting.
You get used to the hair.

You make me forget
The great divide
With that ******* smile
From back last December
When for awhile
I needed it, needed this
Needed each forsaken kiss and
All the things I used to miss like
A trip long and winding
When the walls are breathing
The feelings we’re finding are
Right in the moment but
I look away.

Once again
I bit off more than I can chew,
You
And that silly tattoo I’ve got
Nothing to lose
Because I have nothing but
Everything to gain
Just have to get past the shame.

This is not a test;
It’s a sideshow circus job
That pays in time.
If you didn’t know it,
Now you do,
That everything you have been through…
This is not a test;
It’s proof that you’re alive
And reason to bide your time.
But it’s running out,
You shouldn’t even bother,
Because life’s not on our side…
This is not a test.

An itch you cannot scratch,
Gnaws at your flesh
And tears your insides.
A parasite that lingers on
After any hope is gone
Every little exploit dies,
Breeds and lies,
Recaptivates you like a fool,
An everlasting bitter song
Which slays the need to carry on.

The truth hurts, naturally,
I can break you down
To what you truly are,
Which isn’t much
And to be honest
It never really
Got that far.

A pendulum swings the same way
Today as it did yesterday.
No snap of the fingers
Can change what lingers
So deadly repeatedly.
Day after day after day,
My eyes open the exact same way,
And time’s in a knot
With or without delay,
Everything drags;
Gut wrenching, teeth grinding, fist clenching
And drags some more.
Day after day after day.

The butterflies, they cluster so,
I smell their fear in the air.
They seem so free, so unsuspecting,
But I hold one in my hand,
I admire its aesthetic value
And rip its wings off.
Unsuspecting—nothing’s free.

Do not even bother—
Will not get me to give
Will not get me to soften the edge.
I do not do feeling
I do not call it love;
Do not even bother—
I am cold as frostbite
At the end of May
On sleepless nights
The Sandman’s Prey.

Idle love sleeps day by day;
Beneath the sunshine lovers lay.
Daisy petals strewn about,
Wind casts the seedlings far away.
But when does fondness become a bore?
When rings are thrown upon the floor
And notes blaze so intrepidly
Devotion vanished forevermore.

The evidence of a wretched lover
Presents itself as thus:
Crumpled tissues, dampened pillows,
Unruly blankets and sheets.
The wailing Venus is always blank,
With little affection to reap.
How could there be a joy in the world,
When all she does is weep?

It wasn’t too late, too early,
Simply a masquerade of paranoia;
Such an excuse blankets my
Poorly timed daydreams and
Silly grandiosity, unwillingly
Born from words left unsaid
Silence is a virtue when you are lying in bed
Out of breath and perspiring,
Nothingness is so tiring, conflicting when
Time has gotten much older
But my head’s on your shoulder,
**** your words and expressions,
Suspiciously uttered into my ear
When I’m spent, on my back
Yet I still attempt a smile
As I’m touched, in denial,
Slightly used and abused,
Your best kept secret.
Keep these moments on empty,
Thoughts secured tight,
Taking no feeling out of these nights,
The sick darkness reoccurs, if it wasn’t for you
Knew it couldn’t be right,
I am shut, uncatchable, unreachable, cold
Because everything in happiness eventually gets old;
This has been for a while,
And it’s making me numb…
I guess now we both know
What this has become.

Perhaps I am a predator,
My lust addiction’s prey
Is the lack of all affection;
Few loving words to say.
Pity for the maiden
Who, naked, sheds a tear
For man’s true love, the whitest dove
Impure and flies in fear.