Hello Darlin

It's been a long time
I hope you are fine

I thought a letter
Would be better than the phone
By the way how is home

I heard through the grapevine
You had a new love
I hope he is kind
And
He is not like me
Stupid and blind

I guess your thinking
Why
The letter

I would like to say that I am fine
But that would be a lie
I am about
to die
That is why
The letter is better
I do not want you to hear me cry

While I am trying to say
I am sorry
Because I did not try
And
For being such a bad guy
And
Causing you to worry
Night after night
Finding me  passed out in alleys
Coming home with black eyes
And
For telling so many lies

I never learned my lesson
I have been alone
Since you
I thought about coming home
But
I still would die alone

Forgive me
Please
!!

That make us cry

Why do they try
What do they imply
How do we reply
After we realize
Justify
Hide
Or
Lie

What's the gain
Pain
Pretty **** lame
What's the game
Where is the shame
Go ahead and blame
In their name
It's all the same

The lies
It's in the eyes
That cries
Why
Why
We die
Will not rectify

Cover blown
Known
Their *** is grown
He that throws the first stone
Do not throw a bone
Rather be alone

The lies
That makes us cry

Look them dead in the eyes

Goodbye

!!

When people use to pray
When the bible showed us the way
Them were the good 'O days
When people did not stray
From them good ways
When every Sunday was the Lord's day
When you feared the end of days
When people walked the good pathways
When people wanted to climb heavens stairway
When we did not with everyone lay
When we married to stay
When we knelt down to pray
Them were the good 'O ways
When our days were not gray
When our neighbors were in trouble
we did not turn our backs and turn away
When sinners were welcomed in church
everyday
When the American Flag was always on display
When all men were brave
And knew how to behave
When you were on the roadway
Everyone nodded and waved

When everyone was treated the same way

What happened
to
Them good 'o days
The good 'o ways
!!

Many years past by to get to this new age
Now there are so many new ways
What is wrong with the old ways
They call it evaluation
There needs to be a revolution
I am afraid of this new nation
People of gratification
The new age of ligation
summation
starvation
So much talk of deportation
And of emigration
No legalization  
This is
The new age , The new way
The new age of the politician
The new way of their deception
No reputation
No consideration
All about their affiliation
The new age, The new way
Of all corporation's
All about their accumulation (of money)
Their conglomeration
Jobs of elimination
Exportation
The new age, The new way
Still so much discrimination
No equalization
Young life's - unjust- evaporation
with no justification
The new age, The new way
The world without conservation
Global warming no talks of  stabilization
Over populating

The new age , The new way
to our own
Proliferation
!!

For ratings!!

Dramatize??
I have to wonder if there is not some lies
Where no rules apply
Stories revised
Acts like all is a surprise
Ah!! How they can justify  
All the stories or some they customize
Bad people they glorify
and romanticize  
Some restraint they need to exercise
How could they not realize
I don't want to see bodies that are not alive

Constantly telling stories that terrifies
This world, they need to help stabilize
Minds they help to vandalize

BREAKING NEWS!!!
What qualifies??

I don't need to be reminded
how the world is becoming demoralized


WHY??

(answer)

hey it's me
after all this time
can u believe
i had the nerve
too
i heard about everything you
have gone through
thought i would call and check on you
did not know if you had someone
to turn to
someone new
thought you still might be feeling blue
(thank you)
(how are you)
me
i am fine
still, have no one to call mine
its been a long time
since you
(i am sorry for you)
don't be
i was lucky
that i had the love
that i had
with you
(that is true)
(me too)
(silence)

What makes you feel that you would want to
That you would like to
That you need to
So strong
It nags
Until you
Give in
To something new
Which could be way over due
What it is ,I am sure you have a clue
***
*******
Drugs
Getting a tattoo
The urge
For something taboo
To paint yourself blue
To pursue
Someone to *****
Or that is equal to
The urge
Drives you to do what is not good for you
Makes you do the wrong things
Almost everything
The urge
Can definitely make you sin  
When it takes control of you
That is when it begins
With
The Urge
!!

As Rome, was not built in a day
but day by day
On the backs of immigrants
The USA they made
Hard work they always displayed
in a well mannered way
Often with less pay
(how soon we forget)

The USA
A nation of diversity
It was welcomed and invited
We would all stand united

The USA
Now we are ready to pick who will be slighted
(The Syrian  refugees)
Hatred reignited
So many ready to turn their  backs
and tell them they are not invited

The USA
President Obama I must say
I was proud of him today
(Veto)
Without delay  
He had some ***** today
And could care less what anyone would say
Sent a clear message that the Refugees should not stay away

The USA
The people
I am ashamed
!!

(pulling back the curtains)

looking outside
looking for hope
looking for the way to cope
looking at a tree
thoughts of hanging a rope

the window
reflection of a widow
her head slopes

the window
lays
an envelope
the note
she clears her throat
it begins to rain
she whispers my name
with no blame
with no shame
i love you
the
same

the window
(the curtains close)

(she pulls the curtains back)

the rain
hitting the window pane
the widow
her head slopes
clearing her throat
seeing the tree
recalls her screams
remembering him hanging from the rope
how he had lost all hope
still no blame
in speaking his name
all the anger is hers to bare
as she silently recites
the lords prayer

the rain stops hitting the window pane
she whispers his name

(she pulls the curtains close)

#suicideisnottheanswer
#withitsomuchpain

Setting here thinking/wondering

Thinking of when we were younger
"Youngsters"
You were such a stunner
And I was your boy wonder
Us together all summer
"Free"
Our first kiss under our favorite tree
"Together"
Just a little naïve
"All would be"
Side by side
I just knew someday you would be my bride
Then out of the clear blue sky
There you stood with another guy
"Sighed"
Years went by

Setting here wondering
How are you
Are you happy
Do you ever think of the day you broke my heart
"Tears apart"
Is there a lot of distance between us
The past, would you like to discuss
Like our talks on the school bus
"Both of us"
Have you thought of me more then a thousand times
Hearing the clock chime
I have run out of time

Years of
Thinking/Wondering
Still loving ?
!!

Woke ***** as ****
Got on line to find a big dicked buck
Well to my surprise
NO LUCK
So got into my truck  
Did not have to drive far
There standing in front of me
The God's sent to me
Pan!!!!
Tanned
*** this was an incredible man
Rolled up next to him in the truck
Hey man, what's up
He answered:
"Not much"
He reached in and touched -- ----
Looked me in the eye and ask
Back to your place so we can ****????
He got into my truck
We went back to my place
****** and ****** and ******
And ******
Looked at him, "get dressed it's time to leave"
He looked at me in disbelief and said  
"After what I just received
I don't want to leave"
Ten years later
He is still with me
Just ask, Will you marry me???
This morning
!!

YES!

Torn
Without color we all should be born
Because of, all we do now is mourn
As untimely deaths come to our
First born
Second born
Third born
Just because of their skin color
Our brothers
It's time we lay the weapons down
We all come together
Stand altogether
To stop loss of lives because of someone's skin color
(Black skin is not a sin)

This world
Torn
Now all we do is mourn
Terrorist
Evokes, fear across the world
Your neighbor?
Yes, they could be that near
Watch the news
It's something new every morning
They **** with no warning
Then our world goes into mourning
It's time
They lay their weapons down
For us all to come together
Stand altogether
To stop them from going into any town
Let us not back down

This world
Torn
Now again we are mourning
Caused by mass shootings
Because someone thought it was their duty
Not being choosy
In their shooting
Execution
Afterwards people standing behind
( the second amendment )
Of an aged constitution
It's time
For us all to come together
Stand altogether
To change the
Constitution
There is no other solution

It's time
For us all to come together
Stand altogether
To stop
The pollution  
of  minds
!!

Does not stand still
People think  it's not a big deal
Just something measured by a clock
Tic-Tock
  
No matter what you do it cannot be blocked
It never stops
and cannot be stopped
It will never halt
It has never been seen
Embedded into our genes
It's presence we should be aware
It lingers in the air  
You know it's there
It has such importance
Then why is it so distorted

In a flash of  light
it is night
Before you know it
we are grown
Then the questions
How much of it was blown?
How much of it did I spend on the phone ?
Why did I spend so much of it alone ?
Did I spend enough of it with my own ?

Then we go to our grave
Where there will be no more
Time
and
None remains
!!

I forgot my name
I felt insane
No need to explain
Blood still rushing through my veins
Heart still beating the same
Today
My life, a picture wrapped in a frame
Feeling no shame
No one to blame
Today
What it became
It's fair game
Today
I will not keep my eyes shut
Maybe I will act like a nut
Maybe walk with  a strut
Today
I still have a brain
I will not have to be trained
I cannot be restrained
Today
All I have to do is sustain
It will be a campaign
To keep it simple and plain
Today
I met a girl named Mary Jane
All I see and hear I will retain
I will not be held back by chains
Today
I will have gained
It will not be mundane
I will not feel drained
Today
I will not be contained
How could I complain
Today
It will be alright
I will not be contrite
It will be a delight
Today
Despite !!
Today
I will not be uptight
Life will not be a fight
Today
It will be humane
!!

can i

i have regrets
since we met
trusting you
should be easy to do
i should not be wondering how to
trusting you
would make my love strong
making us belong
making it last long
trusting you
would stop the mistakes
would stop the heart aches
the heart break
trusting you
would stop us from tearing us apart
would stop my plans to depart
i pray to start
trusting you
would stop my fears
through the coming up years
would stop all the for sure tears
trusting you
give me reason to
then the real love could start
please be smart
!!

of leaving you be
trying to stop my need
trying to stop the bleed

for twenty years
you have been gone
my love kept going on
nothing beyond

twenty years
of tears
of watching my loving peers
loving without fears
staying near and dear

twenty years
of wanting to call you
of blaming you
true

twenty years
of wanting  back in your arms
wishing on the stars
that again everything, would be
could be, ours

twenty years
of being alone
by myself
terrified
I had to hide

twenty years
of no one making love to me
after all these years
due to my overwhelming fears
twenty years
cannot heal
!!

Do you want to  be mine ?
Growing closer everyday
Will you take a chance on me ?
Will I be the only one on your mind ?
During the passes of time
It's so simple being mine
Will you forever mention my name?
It's really easy
Just see me for me
All you have to do is let it be
It could be so easy to say the word
"we"
which  includes me
I could care less about your past
I really just want this to last
There would be so many neat times
could be a blast
I am not scared
There could be so much shared
I promise I will always care
Can you see us two the God's has paired
It's been declared
It's going to be worth it
To have you laying next to me
or standing real close
Both under the angels glow
I hope you don't want to let me go
I hope you listen to the words I say
Because I want to ask
Do you want to be mine??
Until the end of time

waking
thinking of how
i breathe in
i sigh

how will it end
how does sunlight bend
how does the heart break
then mend

i suppose
i cannot dose
how do doors open
then close
how do we love
then feel pain to our bones
how do we only hear certain tones

waking
thinking why
i breathe in
i sigh

why the lies
why blue eyes
why do we die
to make us feel alive

waking
i take a breath in
i sigh

i have aged
a new age
a new page

i am breathing in
i sigh

another july
am i the same guy
i cannot identify
can i rectify
did i satisfy
can i justify

i am sleeping now
how
.........................

Not defined by:
By a car
That we drive a Mercedes instead of a ford  
Nor a golden credit card
Or if we are the chair of a board
By all the awards
Or how we serve our lord
By how big our front door
Or from how much more
Nor by winning a war
Or by our décor
Nor what we can buy in a store
Or by our address
By that fancy dress
Nor because we can live on the highest floor
Or because we are good looking and adored
Nor by the big diamonds locked in a drawer
By that we have money galore

A class war??

We should be defined by:
So much more
!!

All I want to do is  run, run, run
Straight into the sun , the sun, the sun
Make my life done, done, done
There is not going to be a rerun
So many things I have done
They cannot be undone
I AM NO LONGER YOUNG
Right now it seems my life could be done
     !!

"LORD"
I understand why you would be so done
With  
the things your Sons and Daughters  
has done!!
No one asking for forgiveness and turning their backs
and you they shun
War after war with this your world we have destroyed
Young men constantly being deployed
Because someone with power is being paranoid
Guns
Replaced the stones that we use to throw
Killing one another
Thaw shall not ****
Now people killing for the thrill
Over a drug deal
or because
of
greed
There is only so much a man needs
Money taken from people that they mislead
Scheme after Scheme
''We can make you money guaranteed"
You placed us in a "Garden of Eden"
Now where pollution is a breeden  
You gave us ten things that we needed to do
This is all we needed to do
To honor you
To repay you
For you giving your life
and hanging on the cross
beaten and bleeding
For the gift of life you gave to all of us  
Those ten things are a must
It is time for us
to show our love
While we wait for the new world
we will have to endure
all of the storms
as we wait for you to return
I am sorry, I cannot give you a reason
of why, or for
What we have done
!!





What have we done ?

My desires
How I had to defy her
All of my priors
More so all of the liars
The sound of the choir
Life, in it's entire
The love that I require
The sound of gunfire
Always being in the line of fire
Fearing the ball of fire
Trying to figure out all of the secrets
The treatments
My weakness
Bleakness
People's sleekness
All of my fears
Thinking about all the past years
And what caused all of my tears
And
What will appear
That might cause my love to disappear
The thinking of my peers and their smears
Death
When will I take my last breath
What keeps me up at night
My fears of
"ME"
!!

Taking my last breath
I guess the inevitable " Death "
Not ever being able to catch my breath
Having to dance my last dance with "Death"
Leaving all my friends
Not being able to make amends
Not being able to feel the summer and winter winds
Being conscious and knowing I am close to the end
My soul not knowing where to go
It being caught in limbo
Not being on God's  list
Never again being kissed
Not being missed
That sure would make me ******
Getting buried six feet under the ground
People stepping on my grave mound
Not ever hearing another sound
Not being able to fool around or to run around
Scares
Not being unaware
Not making it upstairs
Being kicked downstairs
Not ever feeling love
Being in the dark
Not ever hearing my name MARK
I guess you figured it out
"Death"
Scares me.
!!

If I lost you
I have no clue
I know the sky would be dark and no longer blue
When I shut my eyes and I can't see you
I get a preview
of me without you

What would I do
If I lost you
I hope this question you would ask to
I know my days would not start new
From the beginning I knew
I did not want to be without you

What would I do
If I lost you
My life would be *******
Since my life is about tending to you
It is so easy for me to do

What would I do
If I lost you
There would be nothing to look forward to
Something I could not work through
And
I would not want to

What would I do
If I lost you
I would loose my mind
Since our minds are so  intertwined
I could not handle you leaving me behind

What would I do
If I lost you
The thoughts of and what I would do
Lets just say they would have to bury me next to you
Then my angel I could be with you

What would I do?
If I lost you
I do have a clue
I would continue  loving you
!!

When you looked at me
When I looked at you
for the first time
Pause
Lost for words
We knew the cause
The unspoken laws
It was

So many times when I ran into you
I would look for a clue
Silently
If you wanted to
If you knew
How bad you
I wanted to pursue

There is not a day
That does not go by
That you do not cross my mind
That I wonder
if you think of me
Out of a possiable need
that you could believe

To be torn
The loss I mourn

I cannot lie
I have fantasized
Then realized
It cannot be
You are not free

Just know
I think of you
On the same traveled road


#itseverlastin'waitin'onaeverlastin'road