That I caused
No reason really
Maybe just because
I broke all the love laws
No heart for me from my visit to OZ
Now I have to take pause
To all the pain that I caused
I am sorry for that pain
Looking back, I can see how lame
For all, I was to blame
******* my middle name
Referring to you as nothing more than a dame
Now feeling so much shame
I never treated you as my equal
or the same
My M O and my game
A bad boy was my claim to fame
All that *******, I have overcame
Being a man is to lay claim
"****"
What a foolish man
No wonder her and everyone else has ran
and
Avoided jumping back into the frying pan

Now I have a different plan
!!

When you looked at me
When I looked at you
for the first time
Pause
Lost for words
We knew the cause
The unspoken laws
It was

So many times when I ran into you
I would look for a clue
Silently
If you wanted to
If you knew
How bad you
I wanted to pursue

There is not a day
That does not go by
That you do not cross my mind
That I wonder
if you think of me
Out of a possiable need
that you could believe

To be torn
The loss I mourn

I cannot lie
I have fantasized
Then realized
It cannot be
You are not free

Just know
I think of you
On the same traveled road


#itseverlastin'waitin'onaeverlastin'road

I can not believe


Just friends
Is not satisfactory
All you need to do is agree
can't you see

How can we loose
So sad
If we do not have a romance
And
Take a chance

Could you ?
Would you ?

Promise I will be true to
you

I have feelings for you
When I am around you
I get so excited over you

Friends
To the end
That we can amend
Rules were made to bend


Friends
Make the best girlfriends

Friends
Make the best boyfriends

Please do not say it depends
Ask me when
Lets begin


You and me
more than
just
Friends
??

A man that never wore a crown of thorns    
That never grabbed life by the horns
Avoided all the yellow lights flashing and what it warned
Never looked into the mirror, so he would not have to see what it really showed
A man
That did not listen to all that was told
A man that did not travel on the smooth roads
But always took the side roads
A man that did not belong to any zip coed
A man
That never received or never gave, there was nothing owed
and nothing borrowed
A man  
That stuck close to the railroad
not carrying where it would go
Never saying hello
A man
That preferred to be a John Doe
That would never  stay awhile
That would always look ahead to the next mile
with a smile
A man
With his  own lifestyle  
Making it all worthwhile
Never having to reconcile
!!

I am not a fool
I am not stupid
I am  human
I do believe in Cupid
I that night
I was hit by the arrow
I immediately, was in love
I was at first sight
I still was at first light
I will be at the next midnight
I will never make light
I know this is right
I will give you all that I can
I will be, only your man
I will be your biggest fan
I want to plan and plan
I will always stand by u
with you
I will make sure anything we will make it through
I give you my heart
I now start
And
I will give you so much more
I am yours

I love you
I do

Adam marries Eve
Now Adam can marry Steve
And
Eve marries Eve
"Reality"
We live to work
Instead of working to live
Seems to be contrived
As all our lives is on a down hill dive
Day to day trying to survive
I don't think that is called "Arrived"
"Reality"
Afraid to go to the theater
Might run into a hater
That will cause us to meet our creator
"Reality"
Sending our kids off to high school
And preschool
Not knowing if they will return
Is that what they were sent there to learn ??
"To never return"
It's a shame
But
"Reality"
The rich getting richer
The poor getting poorer
That we can ensure
Something we all will have to endure
Reality
War after war
Nation against nation
The fear of others reactions
Then sending our troops into action
Reality
Populations explode
Where water no longer flows
People leaving by the busloads
Watching our lands erode
Ah! the human coed
Reality
Global warming
All kinds of warnings
People misinforming
That should be informing
No reforming
Our world of
Reality!
"The world or the state of things as they actually exist"
!!

of leaving you be
trying to stop my need
trying to stop the bleed

for twenty years
you have been gone
my love kept going on
nothing beyond

twenty years
of tears
of watching my loving peers
loving without fears
staying near and dear

twenty years
of wanting to call you
of blaming you
true

twenty years
of wanting  back in your arms
wishing on the stars
that again everything, would be
could be, ours

twenty years
of being alone
by myself
terrified
I had to hide

twenty years
of no one making love to me
after all these years
due to my overwhelming fears
twenty years
cannot heal
!!

You slamming  the door and leaving me alone
20 years setting by the phone
Day after day
Thinking I heard it ring
Picking it up and hear nothing but a dial tone
Never leaving home
Did not know what it was like to use a comb
Never seeing my neighbors
The front porch filled with 20 years of papers
Living room filled with take out food boxes
Hearing nothing but the tick of all the clocks
Everyday hoping to hear some kind of door knocks
20 years setting playing with  building blocks
Stopped sleeping in our bed
The place we held divine  
Could not stand your body not being next to mine
20 years of me thinking about the times
that we  intertwined
when our life's aligned  
Been on a 20 year decline
20 years of being confined
Letting the bills go and always being behind
Who knew 20 years ago my life would unwind
20 years ago today
On this day
I can feel myself sleeping away
Trying to be brave

At the moment the phone
Rang
!!

Living life slow
With
Not a lot mojo
It's people so miss understood
Pregnant and barefoot
Sorry, this is not textbook
We don't have a lot of neighborhoods
Something better
A lot of woods
Filled with flowering dogwoods

Grew up learning about manhood
and Womanhood
Taught
To stand with our neighbors
We should
and  
We just would

Family feuds
None, as along as you pay your dues
Excluding
The Hatfield's and the McCoy's
We all know about their attitudes

We love our Whiskey
Our Makers and heaven hill
and our  moonshine  
how mighty fine

Spend our days
In the fields
Sometime wadding in the mud
Where we had just dug
Tug!
Maybe loose our shoes
All we do is shrug

We speak with a southern draw
We call our mom, maw
We call our dad, paw
By the time we start to craw
And we consider everyone ya all
Kentucky
Where the stars shine bright
Where everything is just right
And everything is alright

!!

I pray
He watches over you where ever
you may go
I pray
He blesses everyone that you may know
I pray
He provides you with lots of silver and gold
I pray
He will keep you warm and out of the cold
I pray
He will touch your soul rather you are
young or old
I pray
Your faith in him, you will uphold
I pray
His miracles you will not withhold
but you will behold  
I pray
If your about to fall you will look up to him
and not fold
I pray
You will accept him as your friend until
the end
I pray
All your love you will send
to your enemies and no longer will you offend
but they you will befriend
I pray
A helping hand you will extend
in this weary world where no one rejoices
I pray
His word you will always defend
I pray
When you look to the east
and you see that star
you will  remember "daily"
Born - was - the - King of Israel
I pray  
Each and everyone of you have a safe and
MERRY CHRISTMAS
!!

Looking at a blank screen
With a cigarette hanging from my mouth
As I inhale
I am hoping for the words
or a subject to write
Trying to keep it lite
Wanting something to trend
With words that will blend
Nothing about a girlfriend
Nothing about a boyfriend
Nothing that I would have to amend
Nothing that will offend
Something that everyone can comprehend
I don't think I should write about my wild weekend
or
My girlfriends tight end
I guess it will depend
If the words come
And
From where,
my dark side or my light side or my funny side
or my **** side, or my deep side , or from my romantic side
Maybe from my perverted side  
Poet's, how do we decide ?

Where do our words and  subjects come from??
We all have so many different sides

!!

Will I be left on my own
Will I become one of the unknown
Who will visit my grave
Cry, moan an grown
Will I be left alone
Will it be the price I pay
Because of the way I lived my days
and
My sinning ways
Who will visit my grave
On the cloudy and rainy days
Who will come and pray
More then a minute will they stay
Who will visit my grave
A single flower they gave
As I lay in my grave
an decay
Who will visit my grave
on
Sunday's  
Will everyone stay away
Leaving me all alone
with my bones
A man not well liked or known
On my head stone
This will be engraved
Who will visit my grave

The man that dug my grave ?
!!

Needs to be anywhere
As long as it's a place of nowhere
I will go there
Before I have a breakdown
I need to get out of this **** town
No longer want to stick around
I am about to drown
You can see it in my frown
There is nothing here to keep me from going
somewhere not knowing
easygoing
Maybe somewhere it's snowing
the moon is always glowing
Somewhere, it's calling for me
my destiny
A new place to see
Somewhere to clear the air
have a new love affair  
not have a care
Here or there
Going somewhere
where I can make believe
and will never want to leave
and my mind will stop moving
no more booing
no more need of overdoing
Going somewhere for some renewing
Where my thoughts makes since  
"Convinced"
Going somewhere
Anywhere, Anywhere
To set myself free
!!

This I own
I choose to be
I have chosen to be
It is sad, now, that I have no one
to call my own
No one living in my home
Have I been lonely
sure-years
Non without tears
No one to comfort my fears
Nor to hear my cheers
No one waiting for me
upstairs
Laying here still alone
No one laying next to me
For some reason, I did not think,
someone I would ever need
Now  becoming  more needy
Really need some one next to me
Yes I have family
They are so busy actually
Reality

Now that my death is even more near
I fear
So many more tears
There are no more cheers
No one waiting upstairs for me
No one living in my home

I guess I will fulfill my destiny
and will die
Alone
!!

Tears shed for our peers
Yes, our peers
Human as they appear
June 13th 2016

Just out for a beer
At the start everything was unclear
A man is shooting dressed in his terroristic gear  
In an instant
It turned into unimaginable fear
Shooting people  
that were held dear
Fear with tears
Begging the man not to shoot
He knew is route
And continued to shoot
Hiding they could only see
the pacing of  his boots
Him again getting ready to shoot
His victims no time to dispute
One after the other he continued and
continued and continued to shoot
More then hundred times
He does his crimes
Dead are
FORTY NINE
Brothers and sisters
of
Yours and mine  
!!

a tear
from fear
will not disappear

through the pain
a constant
year

to the cheek
adhering
wiping
it smears

another tear
this fear
sincere
wiping, it too
smears

another
another
and
another

fear
those things
i do not want to hear
may i wake in a year
to the tears disappeared

a cry
of defiance
in silence
the fear

a tear

in the constant voices
i hear
brings
the fear
a tear

labouring for life
my conscious spirit
fears
shown in

a tear

am I to late
living without you
is that my fate
letting you go was my life long mistake
now I wait
for the most important date
will you take
with your answer please do not
hesitate
the times we had, we can duplicate
shall we step back up to the starting gate
start where we left off
we are not lost
i know our love is not gone
not with the unspoken bond
to each other I can feel
we are still drawn
come on


no answer

fate
i was to late

Not whole
Asphalt streets full of darkened holes
Darkened light poles  
No shadows
No patrols
Losing control
Covered in dark clothes
Taking life's blows
As it goes
It is closed
Time slows
Only the darkened knows
Smelling the dark rose
Living by the dark scrolls
The dark future exposed
Shows
When the dark side arose
There is nothing to suppose
The dark will not propose
To
The
Souls

That, that kept the bible beside his bed
That thanked God every morning he was not dead

I am a man
That, that has no regrets
That forgives and forgets

I am a man
That, that did not want it all
That preferred living small

I am a man
That, that learned from making mistakes
That understood what was at stake

I am a man
That, that never forgot a name
That refused to play all the games

I am a man
That, that knew he was not perfect
That just tried to be correct

I am a man
That, that had no problem admitting to wrong
That admits to being a little headstrong

I am a man
That, that did not mind to share
That would comfort you in your despair

I am a man
That, that will never forget where he was raised
That will never forget those days

I am a man
That, that love has been bitter sweet
That, the one, he has yet to meet

I am a man
That, that has not forgotten
That he is just
A man
!!

sweet love

sweet love

i can no longer trust

so long now

i have been alone

stayed hiding inside my home

after it failed

the first time

the second

and the third

i am burned

knowing

that i would never let it return

buried my heart deep in dust

for me

there would never be an us

bound by chains of fear

it's crystal clear

love

i would never trust




again

I do not need my heart anymore
I am standing in front of two doors
I will not be living anymore

Walking through
Into the darkness
To the afterlife

Which door will I reach for

One will lead to the light
One will lead to the night

It is so quite here
I am on my own
Alone

Heaven there are no lies
Hell nothing but cries

Which one
The gun
It has begun
I cannot run

The sun

At the door

I want to be with you right now
I want us to trust right now
I want to hear you right now  
I want you close right now
I don't know how right now
There is so much I want to do with you right now
Right now
I want to sleep with you right now
I want us to be they right now
I want to feel your touch right now
I want you to come over right now
I don't want to be alone right now
Right now
Touch me now
Kiss me now
Make love to me now
I am yours now
Between us now
Come home to me now
Right now
My fantasy is you right now
My dreams are of you right now
My thoughts are only of you right now
You are all I want right now
Right now
Trying not to be a fool right now
Trying to make this real right now
Your driving me wild right now
Trying to get your attention right now
Just trying to exist right now
Right now
My love is real for you
This fool has fallen for you
My heart is full for you
My obsession is for you
Only live for you
Right now
All I do is think of you
I am in love with you
"Right Now"

!!

Only my words
Am I a nerd ?
Only on the third word
A lot of the time they are so blurred
I just want them heard
But most often unheard
Some that are absolutely absurd
With no fancy catchwords
All of the time I rewrite and rewrite
and reword
Never hip and forward
Some that make no since
and that are slurred
All the above does not matter to me
You see these are my words
And I will never be
Deterred

!!

In my sleep
In my dream
Heavens team
I could plainly see
they came to me
Daddy was there
Grandpa and Grandma
Aunts and uncles to
To give me a preview
Of heavens realm
They grab my soul
and off we go
Weaving through the clouds
high and low
Then we slow
There for me to view
The pearly white gates
Streets of gold
Must have been one heck of a look
on my face
In his full grace
There God stood
It's all good
Guess what
He is not dead
He was greeting everyone
No one fled
Next thing I knew
I was laying, wide awake, in my bed
was I asleep
was it in my dream
Smiling
No matter
I found out
God is not dead

Last night
!!

What it would be like
If you were not standing by me
What it would be like
If you, I could not see
Sunday to Sunday
What it would be like
Not loving  you at the greatest degree
Or
Relaxing under our favorite tree
What it would be like
If we could not celebrate thirty
Or
Start our family tree
What it would be like
If I was not surrounded by your presence
Or
Living without the memories of our
adolescence
What it would be like
If my heart could not feel
A life we were not able to build
What it would be like
If  this was not  forever
If there was no love whatsoever
What it would be like
If we did not have our first dance
If we had not taken a chance
What it would be like
If we could not take long walks in the sun
Tease each other just for fun
What it would be like
Not to hear those three words
That I often heard
What it would be like
If I could not imagine
You

to let it go

what a mess

could not learn from my

mistakes

i was going to do what it takes

true love

so hard to face

how would will you know

if you do not try

i could never let it go

from thirty years ago

i tried my best

i could never sleep

in my mind to deep

i weep

i lost something

that i could not replace

never left my place

if i missed a call

it could not be traced

that time could not be a waste

i had to stop the chase

but

in my head

i could not get it to erace

another love could not replace

look at my face

no one could fill my need

how do you stop

a heart bleed

that is thirty years old

you say

by letting it go

i tried

Not defined by:
By a car
That we drive a Mercedes instead of a ford  
Nor a golden credit card
Or if we are the chair of a board
By all the awards
Or how we serve our lord
By how big our front door
Or from how much more
Nor by winning a war
Or by our décor
Nor what we can buy in a store
Or by our address
By that fancy dress
Nor because we can live on the highest floor
Or because we are good looking and adored
Nor by the big diamonds locked in a drawer
By that we have money galore

A class war??

We should be defined by:
So much more
!!

To stop all the fuss
Slow, there is no reason to rush
To stop making to much of stuff
It's time we
reach out an touch
each other
Forgiving one another
Remembering we are all sisters and  brothers
Start showing love to the other
Just like you would to your mother  
Not someday
but here and now
Not asking how
Making a vow
For us all to allow
Not forgetting
To smile at each other
Not forgetting  
This place is  for all of us
It's time we learn
Bridges we should not burn
The tables need to be turned
It's time for all us
To stop being afraid of each other
To
Just  
Love
One another
!!

Authority missed used
All the time on the news
All of a sudden a side we think we need to choose
There was no need to
Finally a video tap
That shows what they do

Gun shots fired
A black woman dead (Breonna Taylor)
My God she was getting ready for bed
Now dead

A knee to the back of the neck
He could not breath (George Floyd )
A black man dead
Not before asking for his mother
A son, a big brother
Now another

CHANGE will be their legacy

After years of suppression, racism
We stand together
Blacks and whites at their best
And protest
Demanding
Enough, Enough
It's time to end how rough
STANDING TOUGH
Together handcuffed
(CHANGE)

By color we are a race ??
There is only one race
The human race

As I write this
I shed a tear
In sadness
And
For hope
That there will No longer be a hidden
"ROPE"

What makes you feel that you would want to
That you would like to
That you need to
So strong
It nags
Until you
Give in
To something new
Which could be way over due
What it is ,I am sure you have a clue
***
*******
Drugs
Getting a tattoo
The urge
For something taboo
To paint yourself blue
To pursue
Someone to *****
Or that is equal to
The urge
Drives you to do what is not good for you
Makes you do the wrong things
Almost everything
The urge
Can definitely make you sin  
When it takes control of you
That is when it begins
With
The Urge
!!

Heard the door shut!!
Out showing off that but ...????
Don't lie !!
It's true, I feel it in my gut
So you found your KING TUT??
He is liable to find himself with a really deep CUT..!!
DID YOU GET A  NUT..???
What the ****!!
You are nothing but loose ****!!
Lying in bed as I take that last draw off my cigarette BUT
As you walk toward me you need to  STRUT
BE READY TO GIVE ME ONE HELL OF A NUT
Need to act for me
like you did for him, a ****
Yes we are still going to ****
and ****
King Tut ain't got nothing on me
I will **** like a wild BUCK
How many times can you scream
OH GOD, OH GOD, OHHHH GODDD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neighbors will call out the Fire Trucks
****!!
Now ***** who Is KING TUT
I looked back as the door shut!
I yelled  
"Nothing like a good
GRUDGE ****"
!!

Well being, it's a curse!
The brains waves it will disburse
With it's nonsense verse
Leading us to the bad that we will be submersed
Saving it's good intentions
and
Nothing  will  be reimbursed
Causing such thirst
Making it come first
Seeing the worst
Sometimes it plays over in your head
as though it was being rehearsed
Not allowing you to dread
It moves you fast ahead
No speaking of it's intention
always unsaid
It's intentions are well designed
causing your state of mind
only from one mind
your mind
Maybe not of sound mind
or a opened mind
it's intention is to close your mind
to undermine
Listen to it
It will be hard to stay of sound mind


Most powerful,
The subconscious mind
!!

it is where
we will be there-there is no time to spare
to find this place
then
in its space
we will stand face to face
we will finally embrace
then all time will erase
not leaving a trace

somewhere
it is where
we dare
to start to care
where we become very aware
that we will become a pair

somewhere
it is where
there is no past
at last

somewhere
it is where
anywhere
there
where love last

Until
The first lie
The second lie
Then the third lie
I ignored
They continued
Then I was floored
No longer could I absorb
I could not ignore
All of my wondering
The answers came from you
There was more than just a few
Clue after clue
Two wrongs does not make it right
Now I have so much insight
Everything is not alright
In hindsight
Why fight
For what might
I will do my best to be polite
We will no longer unite
No appetite
Never come into my sight

A liar
I
Trusted
!!

hope
so hard
knowing it

i lost
my smile
it has been a long while
so hard
knowing it

i lost
love
it cost
so hard
knowing it

i lost
memories
(traces)
so hard
knowing it

i lost
time
i cannot  hear the clock chime
so hard
knowing it

i lost
my many faces
seeing the changes in places
so hard
knowing it

i lost
my blood
tears flood
so hard
knowing it

i lost
my thoughts
always untying the knots
so hard
knowing it

i lost
being aware
how could have i been prepared
so hard
knowing it

i lost
feeling your embraces
sharing spaces
so hard
knowing it

i lost
you
so hard
knowing it

yes
i
lost

I go numb
From the things that I  see
It makes me feel so humdrum
Yep, really glum
Feeling nothing
As small as Tom Thumb
Just dumb
Just setting back waiting for God to come
To clear this earth of all the pond ****
Again and again
I ask
What have we become
Where did we come from
All of us living to the beat of our own drum
Again and again
I feel nothing
Happy faces
Sad faces, replaces
In so many places
Love, just traces
What happened to good graces
There is no bases
For getting caught up in the rat races