Going on master chef
Beans on toast
Soup in a basket
And a Hedgehog roast
Black pudding trifle
Slow worm cake
Soup in a basket
Sheeps eye,and kipper bake,
Human brains
On a bed of frogs
All washed down
With ***** of hogs.
orange purée topped with pear
All eaten together with zebra hair
just give me ten Michi Michi  Star
Cause I believe I will not go far
***** Craddock turn in your grave
Just cooked a meal for Greg and Dave

You Shuffle my emotions
With your slight of hand
why can't you be true?
My emotions you shuffle
By Controlling the deck
It's pain and love
With a noose round my neck
Why can't you be true?
Manipulating my emotions
You play if it's a game,
Befuddling thee issues
It's a crying shame.
Why can't you be true

Clouds are forming
Shapes a plenty
Sunshine and rain
Never leaving me empty
Sand and the shingle
Between my toes
As the tide comes in
So relaxingly slow

The ball started rolling
Many years ago
Picking up momentum
As hatred grows,
Divide divide
Call to arms
why do people
Need to harm,
History dictates
Violence leads to war
Then after the carnage
What was it all for,
Heavens waiting room
Is quickly filling up
Beans must blend together
then sweeter the cup,
I've done violence
But I don't understand hate
Stalingrad is rising
Or can we change fate

Their i was in a gene pool of fools
I think they called it a secondary school
Napoleon,Stalin and me mate gunga din
Four walls surrounded educated within
Adolph ******, ghandi me mate po ***
We gave education one hell of a shot
Kennedy brothers and me mate Luther King
Assembly started and the gene pool would sing
Alexander the Great and me mate Johnny cash
All in it together giving school days a bash
This gene pool of fools,a dastardly bad bunch
Even invited Hannibal lector for Sunday lunch
School days were good with all my weird guys
They will be remembered  not shall I

Truths you can't live with
Blame me it's so easy to do
Cheating,slanderous lies
It's always you you you.
Slowly I'm untangling your  hold
Starting to see behind ones mask
so I'm looking forward to the future
To be a beer without a cask.
It's going to wreck my emotions
Play havoc with all my thoughts
As the noose slackens around my neck
My smiles gets bigger of sorts.
I'm going to dance the boulevard
Run naked through the corn
Releasing me from your iron grip
Means I can slowly be reborn
You broke my heart through away the key
But now I've made new locks
Sitting on the quays of life
Waiting for a sweet ship to dock.

Road to parliament
Ugly bug ball
Sycophants doing
Brown tongue crawl.
same old same old

Sabre rattling in the world
Is surely getting out of hand
Third World War,well odds on,
I putting on fifty grand.
Made me a little bunker
Made it of concrete and lead
I don't no why I'm spending
Fifty grand,odds on favourite
I'll end up dead,
So when the bombs go boom off
And all the ****  hits the fan
Put your head up your ****
And make an alternative plan
Mr America being the hard nose police,
Mr Korea just being-naughty sheep.
Mr Russia just hasn't got a clue
NATO and Europe such a motley crew.
Ring a ring a roses a posy full of dread
Stop eating out of the basket of despair
And stop trying to turn our rivers red.
I have a solution let's all paint the world
Bright pink,
And run around stark naked, what would
Your neighbours think.

Mornings are always broken
It's raining  razor blades again
Cotton wool bombs live in my head
Mornings are dead just dead.
Mornings rear there ugly heads
Crows have eaten my eyes
Imagination is all I have
My body just tells me lies.
Mornings cry cocooned in my mind
Broken morn,when you are blind
Would it have been better to rest in peace
Than suffer as I do in a worn out fleece.
Weary of the razor blades
And bombs of cotton wool
Raging insanity of a barbwired bull
Please let me curl up and slowly die
My mornings are pergatory and the sun Shall not cry

No Jane
Your a pain,
Giving to you
Is just insane.
Plain old Jane
Just isn’t you,
See my dear
You haven’t a clue.
I give
you take
I’ve fallen for you
Thats my mistake.
If you receive
And cannot give
Half a life you
Will live.
I will always burn when
You offer nothing
In return.
But Thats my mistake
When one cannot
Eat the cake.

Bomb with a conscience
Bomb wanted more time
Bomb with a loving heart
It just didn't want to do crime.
The clock was ticking
Time was ebbing away
Explosive thoughts
Of another grey day.
This bomb had a heart
Couldn't **** or make fires
Suicide was the only option
so it sliced its own wires.
Tick tock,tick tock,tick tock.
Bomb now deceased
Bomb now released
To wander on through time
this bomb did have a conscience
Now lives in a twelve o'clock chime.

Cycled my cycle
In the continuum of space
Walked the line
With one boot and a lace
Swam five oceans
Sailed the seven seas
Never found someone who believed in me
I danced,and played golf upon the moon
Had *** with Munro and came to soon
I turned myself inside out
So I could set myself free
It's getting harder to believe in me.
I played football 1,001 leagues under the sea
Sat with Jesus, Adolph ****** we had a *** of tea
I surfed seven planets and thee astral plain
Danced naked with Madonna in a shower of pink rain
I do not know when I shall be ever  be free
Because It's only me and my straight jacket
who really believes in me.

I wandered lonely as a loon
floating high on many pills
All at once I saw a crowd
Of drunkards and my mate bill.
Outside the bread inside the cheese
*******,fighting on the wheeze.
Continuous drinking,bars that serve wine
Smoking milky ways,
Never bleeding ending
Not enough hours in the days
Home I got, I peed on my couch did I
Was in a terrible paranoid mood
flashes of **** grabbed my eye
I'm glad I was in solitude
Watching **** I had my fill
Me couldn't give a **** about those daffowhats
My head hurts jobsworth.

We all done
A term
As a little
*****
Some much
longer
Than others,
We were all
Born in our
mothers womb
And popped out
Sisters and brothers.

Sycophant in my underpants
Licking my bot bot clean
Oh this brown tongued Individual
His prose is flipping obscene

Roses on my piano
Play me a song
Tulips on my *****
I'm in heaven

Born in chains
Razor blade rains
Freezing cold fires
Non born desires

The faith I keep
I shall not weep
Battles daily
Battlefield called life
These chains I fight

I ride into the sun
On a sleigh of ice
I dance in the rain
Knowing its all inane

Chained into restrictions
I was born ,to many rules
Chained into a stewpot
These links I must fool

Bound to be unbounded
I need to be freed
Chains and lock
Keep me an unfertilised seed

My life .
My chair
My chains
My faith
I die

Three blind mice
One on dope
So thee other two shot him
Now they can't cope
A problem occurs
The end you cannot see
Two don't work its always
Better with three.
Rivers become seas
Without the banks and trees
I cannot cope when it's me me,
Three hands on a clock while it's telling time
Two little mices now swinging for their crime,
Troublesome

There was a
young girl
In my life
We grew up
And fell in love
Wow it was heaven
Wow it was tough.
Everyday was a tussle
But this love ran through
Our disabled muscles,
We grimaced we smiled
We were in for the ride
We handled our disabilities
With grace and pride.

Hi I do not know ,what I should like
So it's hard for me to review
So when someone asks to
Like there work,I haven't got a clue
See I'm a narcissistic psychopath
Think of that as you wish
I can not comment on this I'm like water
Without a fish
I like to write a stories fact or story telling lies
Nothing seems real in my life
I just have to wonder why

They call  me 24 watts
Just a little dim.
They like a bit of banter
My proper name is
Bill.
I Have a sister
She likes to eat cake
Her name is
Victoria Sponge
And is skinny as
A shovel.
My brother Jack
Lived in a box
When you took
The lid off
He stayed
where he was.
We all had the
same mother
But had different dads
Mum just liked a change
We’re happy about this.

Three blind mice
Killers on the loose
1st on their bucket list
Is old mother goose
mother goose double crossed them
Stole their share of the swag
Now it was retribution time
To take down the low life hag
2nd on their bucket list
Is bad boy Father Time
He took out the 4th blind mice
He must now pay for that crime
Kneecapping wasn't good enough
Bullet to the head to quick
So those three blind mice took to him
And Pummelled him with a stick.
3rd on their list was the lady they call old mother freeze
She tried to starve them out, she pinched their tasty cheese
headquarters the mice found was one giant smell shoe
so they hatched a scheme to take out her motley crew
The scheme a bit shabby and all together pretty vague
What happened next ? They had started the ****** plague
Killers on the loose going some what over the top
So Next they started a fire in a bakers shop
See 4th On the list was this **** riddled city
They tried to get rid of us by making it rather pretty
These three blind mice were just plain called ***** rats
Next on the agenda were all ginger pesky cats

Haunted house situated on Apple hill
Evil lived there as time stood still
Spirits would play ghouls would ****
In that haunted house on Apple hill
Was I brave or foolish,I had to go
So I went to visit this horror show
I rang the doorbell of this haunted house
It screamed like a lion roared on by a mouse
Hinges creaked the door opened wide
Taking a deep breathe I strode inside
Ghostly appirations flew all over the room
Showing no fear.knowing my appending doom
Noise was deafening,the screams did thrill
In that haunted house on Apple hill.
Sitting down in an old dusty chair
Near a fire of bones,I just didn't care
A demon appeared and sat down beside
Said he was the spirit of Doctor jeckyll and Hyde
Please I said you will not frighten me
Be a good fellow a make me some tea
The demon roared with laughter and howled if in pain
Then asked me if I was brave or ****** insane
I replied I need some thrills I need some fun
Then he blew my brains out with his gun
I liked this house on Apple hill
Where time stood stood still now my turn to ****
Could you be the next visitor to visit this place
So I can be chilling so thrilling by eating your face.

Door opened in she fell
With a bloodied face
I knew she wasn't well.
This lovely lady who
Oozed such charm,
Who was the person
Who could do her harm.
Why had this lady
Rang my bell,
Did she have something she wanted to tell.
Who was this woman who
Had entered my life,
Being confused I think I might
Have murdered my wife.

Guns fell silent
On Poppy Day
Madness did die
Then buried away.
Twenty one year
Passed slow in time
Madness resurrected
Another humanity crime.
Nationalism racism
Reared its ugly head
Misguided information
Then people we're dead.
Guns fell silent
On Poppy Day
This madness in humans
Will never go away.
Does all this flag waving
Fill you with pride
Then the guns came to life
Then sanity died.

Lovelly ladies
Walking by
Aroma of
Scented skin
Images of beauty
Warms me within
Children playing
Having fun
***** been
Kicked around
It's Lovelly
In the morning sun
as the birds
Make musical sound
Bikes go by
Shoes are worn
Wild life in
Tranquil splendour
People picnic on the grass
Such diversity and gender
Weather changes
Time to time
Silence befalls
The park
After every beautiful day
This bench will
Endure the dark

Machine gun streets
Bullet ridden city,
Homicides a plenty
prostitutes are looking pretty.

Drive by killers
Revenge attacks,
Gangsters being unruly
All Dressed in black.

blood stained sidewalks
Wailing of siren,flash
Drugs doing business
Hands changing cash

Robbing off the thief
Buying of the corrupt
Judges commiting perjury
As these streets slowly erupts

Memories
A photograph
A picture of you.
Made me laugh
Made me cry
Wonderful times
Me and you.
Danced all night
Were never blue
Elegantly dressed
Memories of you.
Lips so sweet,apple red
A figure to adore
Then you had heart failure
Hitting your head against the floor
My heart was truly broken
All washed out lost at sea
This picture brings back memories
Of sweet little you and me.

Recorded my life on a postage stamp
I used a five inch brush
Once cycled up Mount Everest
Who cares
The Sherpa didn't know
How to change a wheel
So I retired and lived in Kent.
Frankly my dear I don't give a ****
David Bowie to the laughing gnome
Sit there on your uneaten mushroom
And i weave you a song on the loom
Album me up I'm just a lost sticker
Lights going twenty watts
I don't like cricket I love it
Head lock holiday

Look at me I'm Walter Mitty
Smartly dressed looking pretty
Dreaming dreams,dreams of love
Can I dance with you

Smartly dressed looking pretty
Hello beautiful I'm Walter Mitty
Dreaming of love,dreaming of you
Can I pinch a kiss

Kissing you,a lady with style
Kissing ones red ruby lips
Walter Is still day dreaming
Or has He just docked his ship

Hello everybody,Walter Mitty has found a lover
Plastered it all over face book,Twitter and all the other
Still he went on dreaming,still dreaming everyday
Now he's with his woman and both can dream away

Sixpence piece fell from her purse,
I picked it up this started the curse.
Electric eyes bewitching me,this I could not ignore
Barbed wire snaked tongue,lips so red I shall adore
Cursed for eternity to walk among her dead
This to was my curse for taking her to bed.
The joy was all hers, love for her were my pains
Locked by her darkish side by flesh eating chains.
My heart been ripped out,she has tasted my blood
That coin still in pocket all emotions were in a flood
How was I ever to be set free from her curse
Would it be to easy,by putting death into reverse
Don't be so silly I say it's all fantastically absurd
Shall I be with her for eternity I'll take a rain check
On being cured.

Do you remember the good old days
When syphlus and death ran wild
Do you remember the good old days
When diseases would take your child.
War and starvation,thousand million would die
There was never any good old days
Relentless misery that just made you cry.
Many Untold miseries all in a sinking boat
do you remember the good old days
When nobody could stay afloat

Mona Lisa
Eyeball pleaser
My lady of the lake
Kissing your lips
Touching  your ****
I'll even bake you a cake.
Squeeze of lemon
Some orange peel
eyeball ingredience
To make me feel real.
sweet mona sweet mona
A frozen file
open up and blossom
Please Stay awhile,
Still dreaming of my Mona Lisa
Elegant chic one eyeball pleaser,
Walk down the high street
All heads would turn
But stuck in that frame
I shall always yearn

Poetry virus
As you read it kills
deleting your poetry
As virus free wheels.
Home page vanishing
Into binary abyss
click the save button
And All will go amiss,
This virus effects and
Will **** all your odes,
Send me loads of money
To break the codes.
po box four seven three
overseas bank account
Its all a scam to me

My spirit is dancing
Among the stars
My body has been cremated
So I wrote an e mail to God
To see if I could be reinstated
Life I wanted another go
I wanted to sing and dance
Experience a bit of danger
And Take a little chance,
Maybe find a sweet lover
Kiss my father and my mother,
First chance of life never favoured me
see I'm Lilly I died when I was three,
God must have read my e mail
I've just been reinstated
I don't no how one did it
Seen I had been cremated ,
What a surprise to see my brother
Kissed my sister, cuddled my mother
Father smiled and held my hand
and said nice to see your back with the band
Family life was good for me
Did a bit of fishing in the sea
Danced to music read lots of books
A happy life even learnt how to cook
Walked the woods with mum and me sister
Grazed me knees and accepted me blisters
Even grew up and had many children to hold
I'm living in this story it needs to be told
Thank you God for reinstating me
My five children send their love
Now it's time for me to go
And join the stars above .

Enigma of stone
Meadow pipits August sun
Cider with Rosie


Fallow deer bracken
Nibbled lawns spasmodic jerks
Refreshing pale ale

Smiling faces cool
Winners take the glories compete
Celebration drink

Mothers fathers sons and daughters
These trade wars will end in mindless ..slaughter
History as told us about capital gain
On poor old humanity acid will rain.

The bankers are blinded on pure greed
Amazon and apple just plant the seed
The carrot is dangled. Humans  believe
This is where governments play and deceive.

Snowflakes are on there mobile phones
Make up girls in bedrooms all alone
Trying to live not knowing nature is blood
But in reality we are all lost,  and  misunderstood .

Mass migration the whole world is a disease
Global climate we need a good freeze
Viruses thrive when humanity is weak
I think the framework of humanity is starting to creak.

Spy in the white house
Russia's holding the coop
Trump and the Marxists
Headlining the duck soup.
its now called the red house
America has been *******
Now for the night of the long knives
We're thee opposition get bumped,
Blonde boy wonder trumping American Dreams
Red stars on the flag as daft as it seams

Trees they wave
To welcome the birds
I sit and drink my tea
Thine eyes are the portal
To my imagination
Why is number four next to three?
I wonder in awe
My gaze is blind
welcoming hello's
It's sweet I find.
On a day dreaming bench
My thirst I shall quench
As the trees welcome in the birds.

Big
piggies
In a pen
You all
will
Be
forsaken.
That is
The farmers
Way
Four trotters
And
Sliced
Bacon.

im going to heaven in my rowing boat
With a kangaroo and a hippo named Fred
The journey seemed to be  quite interesting
until Fred had a dump.
I'm going to heaven in a bright yellow car
Because the boat was covered in ****.
Heaven is a place on earth
it's not imaginary you know
Clangers  live upon the moon
in a sweet diverse picture show.
Poetry is not my strongest point
But I play a mean game of darts,
While unraveling an anagram
Of thee orchestra and thee cart horse
o sol le mio
Ice cream for me I'm still going to heaven
Cause I got a ticket

For along time lips I have not kissed
A sensation  I haven't enjoyed
My emotions went a bit haywire
Electricity  was well employed
When lips met  its like cyanide rain
All locked up in imaginative gain
The taste of lips is like commercial  suicide
Take the haw and the ******* take Them for a ride.
I'm not saying the taste is  in the lips
Sure it is .im sure it is

Public house
Sweet glass of cider
Beautiful lady
I sat beside her,
Said our hello's
Lips were kissed
conversed awhile
Then we got ******.
*** hours later
Six on our minds
Wobbling along to
Home it we cannot find,
Pavement sitting
Alcohol fuelled night
Soiled me underwear
Sweet.

A dik dik dik dik
Jumping a ha ha ha ha
Ornamental garden

Mosses lichen green
Acid colours hallowed
Awakening sky

Bonsai Japanese
Tiny small wood shrubbery
Seventeen potted

All the dead live in my shed
It's heaven
All the dead live in my shed
It's hell.
There is always a light on
But I'm not at home
With all the dead I'm never alone.
They taught me wisdom
But never been wise
They tell me never to hate
As your heart slowly dies
We are all statistics whom
Wind up dead
Then please come to, to live in my shed

Skin me alive with a wooden spoon
Pour acid into my open wounds
Hang me upside down in the midday sun
Pistol whip me, make it not fun.
Roast my insides on a turning spit
I'm still smiling I don't give a s..t
Take my morphine away,I will writhe in pain
Chewing twenty razor blades,am I totally sane.
It's just the same old s..t but another grey old day
My world is still spinning,and I'm still in open play.
Alive and kicking,the big sleep you are surely dead
In life you must taste and burn or your blood don't
Flow red.

Vincent was a painter of note
White van man,white suited overcoat
William a writer of fantastic plays
Lived in a hamlet where he spent his days
Starry nights,clouds and that perspective chair
Vincent my friend he lived in despair.
Romeo and Juliet were a fine pair of lovers
Did he write these plays or were they just covers
The bard of the boards with his life he could cope
Day to day this writer ,lived with so much hope
Painter ,a genius such a life with much fear
What ever happened to his infamous ear
Paintings and writings,from Vincent and Bill
One with a brush the other with quill
With lots of hope and litte despair
They left such treasures for us,so we can share.

I loved life
Life didn't love me
Now I'm dead
I'm totally free,
My mangled shell
Has now been cremated
I'm of in to spirit world
Hope I can get dated.
My first little pleasure
Will Be to dance to a tune
run around naked and
Pop all the balloons.
I sway with the bluebells
On the forest floor
I'm an eagle on the wing
Just Watch me soar
Spirit world,I've found new love
Thank you God and the stars above

Bibliophiles have there libraries
***** feeders have there dens
Vincent had his paint brushes
while authors feed their pens
Churches have there story tellers
To them it's about good and bad
Asylums holding straight jackets
For people who are totally mad
The armies train people to ****
politicians yearn to become a Lord
Tower of London has it guards
My chess set has lost its board.
Doctor Jekyll  needed mr Hyde
While ice  bergs feel the cold
My poor old grandad needed a wig
Cause he was completly bald