Troubled mind
Troubled soul
Troubled with anger
Troubled with cold
Troubled emotions
Troubled with love
We are mucked up
By all  of the above.
Trouble with me
Trouble with you
Two mucked up
Lovers without a clue.
Trouble with trouble
It sticks like glue
To erratic people
Like me and you.

This proud train had
Fallen of the track,
Of to the scrap yard
No turning back,
Last trip in to town
Past the cathedral
With steeple
Then committed suicide
Buy throwing itself
In front of a cue of people.

It was a
coldish night
When through
  the darkness
Came just a
flickering of light
A ghostly apparition
Started to appear
We went ****** cold
Frozen with fear.
It looked like it
Was out to have
Its ghoulish fun.
Bottom lip sank
We all turned
Which way and
Began to run.
I ran in hid
under
The bed
The other kids
Scarpered in panic
Nothing else was said.
It was my mum
Having some fun
With a  white
Bloodied sheet
Dressed as a skeleton.

Knock on the door
There she stood
Woman of my
Haunted dreams
I couldn’t hold back
I had to scream.
*******
In she fell
It wasn’t fun
Meeting the wife’s
Skeleton
She did say to me
You’ll never be free
I’ll haunt you
You ******* for
Killing me.
I smiled and
Didn’t know what to say,
Something tells me she’s
Here to stay
It can be hours of
Creative fun
Living with the
wife’s skeleton.

Heart without love
Stars without space
An unused womb
is a lonely place.
Unspoken prose
An unwritten tune
Melodies without a stave
Who are you
to walk alone
Slowly to your grave.
Withering away
Closing of your mind
Sadness of the darkness
Going blind
Being a member of the
Human race
Can be hell of a lonely place

Doctor who
A man of note
Had a Tardis
Shaped like a goat.
Went to the future
Went to the past
Went to Glastonbury
And had a blast.
Doctor who
Who could contort time
Liked to party on
Lager and lime.
Aliens like you
and me
We’re his
bread and butter
And his cup of tea.
I don’t know what I’m
Writing
Im in a sinking boat
I will get my mate god
To get my hat and goat.

Me and me cat
Have just had a spat
She wanted to watch
Love island
I said don’t be a ****.
She said meow
Well that caused a row
I said it’s all a farce
So she rolled to one side
And started licking
Her ****.

On the cusp
of greatness
Then a twist
Of fate,
I really can’t
Recall the
Time or the date.
I should have
Turned left
But I turned right
Thats when I was
Hit buy a shining
Bright light.
When I woke up
Laying on the
Hospital bed
I had nobody
Just a ****** head
What sort of life
Will I have?
the doctor
Said it’s your call
Look on the bright side
You’ll make a good
Football.

I can’t get you
Out of my mind
When I needed,
You were so kind.
Act of kindness
Done with style
In my mind this
Will stay awhile
Beautiful thoughts
You are so kind
I just can’t get
You out of my mind.

I brought  a car
Without
Any wheels
I got it cheap
A ******
Good deal.
I got inside
To drive it away
Why do they
Let me out
On Saturdays .
I brought a hippo
And named it Fred
It went to sleep
And broke the bed
My mate Doc,
Thinks I am sick
In the head
I just thought
I was easily led.

Into the valley
We ran with speed
Round the lake
Where the fishes feed
Down the footpath
Across the field
All this excitement
Didn’t get the appeal.
In my haste I had
Joined a race
Why was everybody
Running at a different pace.
At the end at the
finishing line,
Came in last now
That was fine.
I might have done better
If I had read the signs
Wasn’t my fault Im
Totally blind.

Me and me lover
We had a spat
I wanted a giraffe
She wanted a cat.
Not being reasonable
All said and done
So then I shot her
with my gun.
Life is understanding
What’s done is done
Now in a human zoo
It’s not much fun.
Life in a second
can change in an act
Give me hindsight
Me having a laugh
Still stupid old me
Would have got a Giraffe.

Send in the clowns
They have big red shoes
Highly paid people
It’s a laugh what they do.
Changing the theatre of dreams
To the big top
Send in the clowns
And sack the lot.
If Fergie was dead
He would turn in his grave
His beloved United
Can it be saved.
If these clowns don’t know
What to do
Bring back the class of
Ninety two.

The werewolf’s
Were out
The moon
Shining bright
Out to feed
Before it got light.
They dug up potatoes
Beetroot and pears
These vegetarian
Werewolf’s
Caught the gardeners
Unaware.

Me and my mates
We formed a band
Wrote some songs
And toured the land.
Songs were so so
The music was loud
Night by night
We got bigger crowds.
Went to far out places
Blew our  audiences away
We got tighter day by day.
Song after song
it did not stop
Even said no to
Top of the pops.
On TV having to mime
Always had been a
Musical crime.
Old grey whistle test
Wanted us on the show
So me and my mates
Gave it a go.
On that Saturday
We did arrive
To play our songs
On stage live
Bob Harris remembers
That day
when we
Blew the
BBC away.
Ups and downs
We took on the chin
Because we were - - -   - - - - - - -.

Travelling the path
Of dying embers
Memories faded
Diluted and gone
No more
grasp on life
withering
Away and done.
There’s only me
From my family tree
Leaves are sadly
Departed
Still I travel down
This path well
Not to
downhearted.
Still I keep on
Breathing
Taking in the air
I know when it’s
Time to go
When I reach the
Bottom of the stairs.

People wither
Away and die
Their shadows
Still play in the
Playground of
The sun,
This playground
Accepts all shadows
It has since time begun.

What’s
going on
I am
all alone
I can’t
have a
Conscience
Im a
mechanical
Drone
Somehow I don’t
Want to hurt
So I
turned myself
Of and I
died in the dirt

Yellow purple
Green and blue
Your my rainbow
I guess thats you,
You bring
colour
To my
being,
It’s so beautiful
What I’m seeing.
Yellow purple
Red and Green
Life’s a countryside
Your so serene,
Your motion is
like a butterfly
Your so annoying
Go away and die.

No bookends
on the shelf
Im dancing
with myself.
Free and
all alone
Stripped down
to the bone.
Nobody wants
No body cares to
Take a risk
That I might
even exist.
All seem so
unaware,
Im dancing with myself
Still stuck high on a shelf
I want to be freed
Please don’t overlook
Because I am your
Over friendly
Kuma Surtra book.

Sweet city girl
A diamond
loving pearl
Happiness in
Abundance
She puts me
In a whirl.
Eyes are like
Emeralds
A ruby for
A heart
She’s always a pleasure
A platinum treasure
Never ever cold
A wonderful
*** of gold
My sweet city girl
I did what I did
Because last time
You over charged
Me by £200 quid.

Sunshine’s on open fields
Combine harvester
Reaping  its yearly yield,
Murmuration of starlings
On the wing
Blackening the sky
While the morning sings.
Clouds making shapes
In the sky so blue
Morning ramblers
Taking in the views
Every morning is like
A Shakespeare play
Every year month and day.

I’ve watched
You
from afar
Every morning
I do admire
Your
lovely stride
And
quirky
Attire.
Then you
disappear
Through that
Revolving door
Only to reappear
Roundabout four,
I work in the cafe
Across the street
Wishing one day
That we shall meet,
Ten years have gone by
Valentine’s Day is
Always the same,
Every year such
A shy and
crying shame,

Down by
The riverside
Kingfisher blue
Soaking up the
Morning chill.
The river flowing
Gently today
Fish are idling by
Bluebells on
The riverbank
Blossoming
In the sun.
Day turns
To night time
Kingfisher blue
Settles on his
Creative perch
To welcome in
tomorrow's dawn.

Troubled soul
All mixed up
Teenage angst
In a broken cup.
Who am I.
What am I.
Troubled soul
Tears I cry.
Always wondering
Will I be free
Why why why
Why always me.

Loving you
Is wonderful
Loving you
Is fine
Loving you
With devotion
Loving you
So divine.
Loving you
With passion
Loving you
With desire,
Then you open
Up your mouth
It’s like stepping
In a mire.

World War One
Confused dot com.
Looking cute
In my birthday suit
Looking aplomb
Confused dot com.
I shot a  guy
I do no why
It made me cry
People in power
Told us lies,
They needed our blood
To colour the mud
The powers to be hadn’t
Got A clue
So the daft *******
Went and
Started World War Two
It’s all nonsense
You don’t have to agree
Arabs and the Jews
Will start world war three
Maybe.
I met a man who
was at the battle
of the Somme
He told me he was
confused dot com.

Poison flowing
Through one’s veins
Life has become
A crying shame.
This affliction
Caused by addiction
Stuck in morphine rain.
Once I was joyful
Now riddled in woe
Travelling life’s highway
With nowhere to go.

Locked inside
Can’t express
Holes to deep
Emotions dry
Not knowing why.
Closed shop
No highs
Continual drop
No hope
No scope
Suicidal thoughts
Neck to rope.
Locked into dark
Always recession
No brightness
Deep in depression.
Ease the pain
release the chain
No charm
Self harm
Dull life
Bloodied knife
Turn left
Turn right
At the end
There’s always light

I have learned
It’s not good to burn
There’s fire in her heart
She manipulates me she
Has done from the start.
I don’t want an easy life
Excitement this I yearn
It’s all fair in love and war
Therefore I must burn.
What is life
I don’t want
Just to exist.
Im going to burn
Not fade into the mist.

My name is Dave
I survived the plague
I did my best
I built a nest
Right on top of
Of Mount Everest.

My name is Rick
I survived the titanic
I did something daft
Ordered an taxi
And got the Kon tiki raft.

My name is Ronald
Survived Chernobyl
It was tricky
I pulled a sicky
I moon lighted
I was so delighted
I do not regret
I went to the ascot races
And had a bet.

My name is Stan
I survived the war
They call Vietnam
Ate my beans and
Stayed in the can
Lady
was with me
Anything goes
I got to know
Nursey Vietnam rose.

Everything is blue today
Sun is out and shines
Clouds have departed
And left the rain  behind.
Everything is bright tonight
The fullness of the moon
Stars seem to look bouncy
With their big red balloons.
The moon
The sun
and stars are
Having a cocktail party,
Drinks were served and
Cup cakes were ate
On through till morning
Just before the  day breaks.
The sun has a hangover
Not feeling very bright
Drank too much spirit
Not a pretty sight
Everything is dull today
The sun doesn’t want to play
Moon and stars have
Disappeared down the
Milky Way

Forever in brown jeans
I know it looks
rather queer
Apparently it’s
hereditary
This substance
called Diarrhoea
Do You
know when you
have  been
Because the local
doctor said
It runs in
your genes.

The sun needs
A holiday
It wants to
Getaway
Needs a
Different
outlook
Somewhere
Nice to play.
A dip in the
Ocean
Smoke a big
Cigar
Cool down
A little
Drive a red
Ferrari car
Hang out
With ladies
Eat olives
From a jar
Drink fancy
Cocktails in
A suave and
swanky bar,
Like to get
Married
Ride a hobby horse
Now that last one
Is stupid of course.

Fallen for the ghost
Of Typhoid Mary
A Lovely cook
Quite contrary
A mobile chef
Carried the disease
Killing her employers
With such pleasing ease.
They never knew
What she could do
Putting typhoid
In their stew
They never taught her
Typhoid was passed
Into food and water
She didn’t not really care
As she will appear next
Week on
Gordon Ramseys
Kitchen nightmares.

Don’t get the picture
Bemused befuddled
Edges are frayed
In our  jigsaw puzzle.
On the table
Strewn across the floor
Pieces of the picture
Don’t fit anymore.
Once we were
An orchard
Now a apple
And a pear
We our
Not heeding
The signs of
A dying love affair.

I am this
You are that
You wear a beret
I wear a hat
I am what I am
You is what you is
I hit the target
Sometimes you miss.
Life isn’t flat
We deal with that.
I touch that
You touch this
You hit the target
Sometimes I miss
Standing in front
Of  each other
wearing just a hat
I think we can
Both deal with that.

I need care
From the cold
Night air,
They are
In there
Freezing
Out here
It’s not fair
Their not playing
By the rules
This to me
is ******
Cruel.
Mummy’s Lovely
We had a spat
I got angry and
Pooed on the mat
What could I do
Being me the cat.
I don’t hold grudges
Don’t you see
Staying in the cold
Night air ain’t
For me,
I got mrs owl
She lives in a boat
I can’t get in to get
My hat and coat
Door opens up mums
Got some food
Feeling better
Changed my mood
I’ll lie down have a Kip
When there out I’ll
Have another ****.

Nature screams at me
Wild as the wolf
Trees having
Panic attacks
Nature screams at me

Earth wind and fire
Nature screams at me
Streams and rivers boil
Blood flows through
purple meadows
Nature screams at me.

The sun takes a swim
In the ocean
The wolf howls
At the moon
Nature screams at me
Death will come
To me soon.

Devil woman
You are my sin,
Devil woman
You hurt me within,
Devil woman
Devour my chains,
Devil woman
Life isn’t plain,
Devil woman
What a pleasure,
Devil woman
Such a treasure,
Devil woman
Loving with ease,
Devil woman is
Such a tease,
Devil woman
Can I be free
So l can
start this
Game of monopoly.

Riding the mail train
Mornings are never plain
Riding the mail train
Every view a serene gain.
Up the track no retreat
Every morning such a
Wonderful treat.
Behind the clouds
The sun will tease
Horizon never
getting nearer
While Collecting
my thoughts
With pleasing ease.
I drank my cold
hobo cider
With my friend
Called Boris the spider
Riding the mail train
Mornings are never  plain.

People see us everywhere
Me and my lady friend
We don’t really care
With our feet
We walk the streets
Ramble amble everyday
It’s always been our
Quirky way,
People we meet and greet
Are sometimes nice
And sometimes rude,
Sometimes they wish
They were like
us
Walking with out
A care in
the ****.

On the titanic
When it sunk
I was in middle class
Sleeping in
a cold bunk.
People screaming
But could not
Hear a thing
The music played
On with  that woman
Who couldn’t sing,
In my room sat
My ghost upon a shelf
Being scared full of dread
I had been hallucinating
I’d been drinking
and wet the bed.

Swam so deep
Inside your tears
Finally we parted
After 27 years,
We rambled thousands
Of miles into
Each others heart
There was lots of love
And lots of pain.
So we strolled
Silently back again,
After 27 years
No tears were shed
So we slept alone
Quietly in our own beds.
Love had gone it’s
Separate ways
But after 15 years
I still miss her today.

Woke up this morning
Thinking this and that
Then in strolled
the family cat
with *****
great rat.
Sat down for breakfast
I was eating
this and that,
Cat was licking its lips
After eating
the ***** rat.
On went the radio to
Listen to the tunes
On came my favourite
99/red balloons.
Cat relaxing on her
favourite seat waiting
for the tune called
tiger feet,
Midday came
Midday went
It was my birthday
So time to receive
The present
My wife had
brought me
A lovely
horned goat
The cat just smiled
And left
with its hat
and coat.

The philosophy of life
Is knowing why
We eat
We poo
We will surely die
Old Chinese proverb
Told by my dad
Man who cooks
Cabbage and peas
In same ***
Must be
Stark raving mad.

Gingerbread man
Gingerbread man
Running hundred
Metres as fast as
You can
Up to the winning line
He tripped
He gave a cough
And his head fell off.
Tragedy for the
Gingerbread man
His head falling of
Wasn’t in his plan,
Crossed the line
Ginger had finished
The race
Not before the dog
Ran on and ate
His tasty face.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I would rather
Bonk a pig
Than make love
To you
I think the missus
She hit me of course
Now the cow is filing
For a divorce.
Still I see
romance ain’t dead
So I shot the pig
And ate it instead.

Pretty day
Pretty night
Pretty ladies
Pretty sight
Pretty twins
Pretty dark
Pretty light
Pretty will
Pretty won’t
Pretty do
Pretty don’t
Pretty boyfriend
Pretty girlfriend
Pretty happy
Pretty sad
My two daughters
Have sent
me happily mad
Home is like a
Shakespeare play
Wouldn’t have it
Any other way.