Met a woman
She’s eighty two
She wanted ***
I hadn’t a clue.
I said look
Thats  fine
By me
Can you
Hurry up,
Because
Next week
I turn
One hundred
And three.
I enjoyed it
I do confess,
I didn’t think
I could make
That much mess.
I think this woman
Took advantage of me
Who cares
I died
happy
103.

Got a new cat
Mollie died
Tears that night
I did cry
This new cat
I do confess
On the carpet
Milly left a mess..
Big pile of ****
You gone
And guessed it
I got up
And stood in it.
Owl and the
***** cat in
A boat
If she don’t
Use her litter tray
I will pack her bags
And her hat and coat.

My doggerel
I will
Still write
Hey
Some are good
Some are *****.
BPD tares me apart
Never happy
Always  sad
Sometimes angry
Never glad.
Always inept
I don’t concept
You can depend
I will offend,
Hey hey
It’s still me
Writing a form
Of **** poetry.
My mental health,
getting
Better
bit by bit
Even John Lennon
Couldn’t write
This ****

Moments in time
Never to forget
Me and my
girlfriend
When we first met
It never went amiss
Still in the
memory bank
That first kiss.

Moments in time
Walking down
The aisle
Having some fun
Then we got
Married and
became one.

Moments in time
In they flow
Caught in my mind
Never to go.
Smile on our faces
On that morn
The day our little
Boy was born.

Moments in time
Life would unfurl
She got pregnant
Again
Out popped our
Baby girl.

Moments in time
Life  got cold
I committed
A crime
I liked to share
I eloped
with the girl
With big *****,
They call the
Au pair.

Naughty I know.

Happy i am
Dancing in flowers.
Happy I am
Feelings are great
Happy I am
Going on a date.
Happy I am
A dinner for two.
Happy I am
I must not rant,
Happy I am
Not to
get excited
And piddle
My pants.
Happy I am
I just got paid
Happy I am
I’ve never
Been laid
Happy I am
Like champagne
In a coffee cup
Im staying
Undateable
Because
He never turned up.
Sat at the table
Put on a smile
Felt undateable
Still un-relatable
Not happy I am
I feel deeply cut
Looks like
Another night in
With me legs shut.

Where for out there
Juliet
I am Romeo
Give me a bit
Of slap and tickle
Of to war I go.
In the carnage Juliet
Sometimes I
might
Get some
time
free,
Then I’ll send
You all my love
In sweet
verses
Of poetry.

Heads are splattered
Insanity running rife
If I get out of this
**** hole,
Juliet
will you
Be my
Darling wife.

I am Juliet
Im having a
wonderful life
**** of Romeo
You *******
I’ll never be
your wife.

Im a three
Legged chicken
Living on a farm
Hoping this year
I won’t come
To any harm.
I like my extra leg,
Keeping my
Feathers intact,
Im not fit
for the table
Me and the
Farmer
we had
A little chat.
I said to the farmer
I’ll take
the job
Of  Molly
the cat
With this extra
Leg
I could catch all
Those rats.
We Three
legged chickens
Your on to a winner
Let me tell
you Mr farmer
We’re not made
For Sunday dinner.