I brought  a car
Without
Any wheels
I got it cheap
A ******
Good deal.
I got inside
To drive it away
Why do they
Let me out
On Saturdays .
I brought a hippo
And named it Fred
It went to sleep
And broke the bed
My mate Doc,
Thinks I am sick
In the head
I just thought
I was easily led.

Into the valley
We ran with speed
Round the lake
Where the fishes feed
Down the footpath
Across the field
All this excitement
Didn’t get the appeal.
In my haste I had
Joined a race
Why was everybody
Running at a different pace.
At the end at the
finishing line,
Came in last now
That was fine.
I might have done better
If I had read the signs
Wasn’t my fault Im
Totally blind.

Me and me lover
We had a spat
I wanted a giraffe
She wanted a cat.
Not being reasonable
All said and done
So then I shot her
with my gun.
Life is understanding
What’s done is done
Now in a human zoo
It’s not much fun.
Life in a second
can change in an act
Give me hindsight
Me having a laugh
Still stupid old me
Would have got a Giraffe.

Send in the clowns
They have big red shoes
Highly paid people
It’s a laugh what they do.
Changing the theatre of dreams
To the big top
Send in the clowns
And sack the lot.
If Fergie was dead
He would turn in his grave
His beloved United
Can it be saved.
If these clowns don’t know
What to do
Bring back the class of
Ninety two.

The werewolf’s
Were out
The moon
Shining bright
Out to feed
Before it got light.
They dug up potatoes
Beetroot and pears
These vegetarian
Werewolf’s
Caught the gardeners
Unaware.

Me and my mates
We formed a band
Wrote some songs
And toured the land.
Songs were so so
The music was loud
Night by night
We got bigger crowds.
Went to far out places
Blew our  audiences away
We got tighter day by day.
Song after song
it did not stop
Even said no to
Top of the pops.
On TV having to mime
Always had been a
Musical crime.
Old grey whistle test
Wanted us on the show
So me and my mates
Gave it a go.
On that Saturday
We did arrive
To play our songs
On stage live
Bob Harris remembers
That day
when we
Blew the
BBC away.
Ups and downs
We took on the chin
Because we were - - -   - - - - - - -.

Travelling the path
Of dying embers
Memories faded
Diluted and gone
No more
grasp on life
withering
Away and done.
There’s only me
From my family tree
Leaves are sadly
Departed
Still I travel down
This path well
Not to
downhearted.
Still I keep on
Breathing
Taking in the air
I know when it’s
Time to go
When I reach the
Bottom of the stairs.