Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Mark Bell Jan 24
Just watched a film
The Battle of Verdun
Where the
French and the Germans
Looked like they
We’re having fun.
Lots of fireworks
Brightening
Up the sky
Then I realised
They were there
To die.
Who in there right
Minds come up with
These  horrors,
People never knowing
Their Tomorrows.
They didn’t learn
From the Somme
Really O,Riley
Humans are dumb.
Mark Bell Jan 24
I got a pet hippo
It’s all the rage
I keep in the bath
In a vey small cage.

I got a ten foot ant
It’s six foot wide
I take to the park
It likes the slide

I got a pet giraffe
It has no neck
It goes on cruises
Likes the **** deck

I got a pet hyena
Loves to play guitar
Loves women’s clothing
High heels and a bra.

I got a pet crocodile
It’s never ever happy
Always grumpy
Forever ****** snappy.

Twenty dogs two hundred cats
I don’t know how they
Live in my one bedroom flat.
Lucky lucky I can’t smell
And I don’t really care
I try my best
But there’s **** everywhere.
Mark Bell Jan 24
A man and his dog
Came into the pub
for
A Pint
of beer
And a bit
of grub.
After his meal
gave his mouth a wipe
Told the locals that
His dog wasn’t the
Obedient type.
If anyone here
Can make my dog
To adhere
you
win 50 pounds
and
A keg of beer.
The challenge
a cost you a pound
And a pint of beer
All the locals tried
The dog would
not adhere,
Saturday night
A man came in
Looking gaunt
Rather thin
Took up the challenge
With voice so soft
Picked up the
Unsuspecting dog
Threw it on the fire
And said now get off.
The man won his fifty
And his keg of beer
The dog got away
with just
a burnt ear
Man getting drunk
giving it large,
Lucky the dog
named lucky
Dropped the cruelty charge.
Mark Bell Jan 24
In my uniform
Proud as punch
Serving the
Well to do
To an exquisite
lunch.
Second course
I got ready to serve
Then disaster hit
We collided with
A berg.
Feeling unlucky
Rather sick
Serving customers
On the titanic.

My life was not full
I was about to start
My shift at a
Nuclear plant
They call Chernobyl.

Unlucky me
From a job
I wouldn’t cower,
Just got a cleaning job
At one of the twin towers
My shift was about to
Begin
Thats when those
Planes came in.

Im unemployed
It’s going to stay
That way.
Im taking up
Golf so I
can live
Another day.
Mark Bell Jan 24
Sweet pea
You look
So forlorn
She replied
it’s the death
Of the last
Unicorn.
Mark Bell Jan 24
To people who
Read my doggerel rhymes
And ask me time from time
And by e mail ask to respond,
I don’t have anything
Intelligent to say
I do apologise
It’s just the way.
Mark Bell Jan 24
The devil and I
Are saying goodbye
We’re calling it a day,
Life’s gone colourless
Life’s gone grey
Me and the devil
Have nothing to say.
The world spins
Around my ego
No halo on my head
Our relationship
Is so
pleasingly dead.
I’m of to pastures knew
Holding my hand didn’t
Know what to do
Guess what inside
another
Devil grew,
This Devil inside
Ruined all my fun
With catastrophic
Outcome
Blew my
head of
With his
own gun.
The devil and I
have
said our
Last goodbyes.
Next page