Hi you mateys
I am pirate Jack
I like to steal
Then put
things back,
My shipmates
Whom I hold
Dear thought
It was a great idea.
Nick an old television
Replace it with new
Helping people
Who are not
Well to do.
With all the old
Old televisions
Me and me crew
Would replace old
And nick the new.
Especially from
the well to do.
Hi you mateys
From my prison cell
As you know things
Didn’t go well
See I’m still pirate Jack
Give me two years
And I’ll be back.

Rubber ducky
Thats the plan
Rubber ducky
Invades Iran.
Rubber ducky
Thats the call
Mexico now s
Surrounded by
A long long wall.
Rubber ducky
White on black
Rubber ducky
Don’t like that.
Rubber ducky
Jumping in bed
With The reds
Climate change
Is now ****** dead.
Rubber ducky
Thats a laugh
Turning Panama Canal
Into his bath.
Rubber ducky
He’s not rated
Dos he know
JFK got assassinated.

I am at my happiest
When I do not exist
I can wander
The underworld
Unruly and
******* ******.
Up on the walls
Are All the signs
Me I do not exist
Im still drinking wine.
Don’t do this
Don’t do that
At every corner
A witch with a cat.
Wandering the underworld
Not reading the signs
All my demons
Are being revived
By the wine
Walking the nightmares
I do not exist
Opened up another bottle
I am at my happiest.

******* in a light bulb
Can’t be a sin
Just want to know
How they got
Within.

Jesus in goal
He does save.

Full backs
Are
Reggie and Ronnie
A couple of Krays.

Centre half
Giant of a man
He’s the comic
Desperate Dan.

Midfielders
Pol *** and Mao Tse Tung
Nasty leaders
Stopping the ball
from going long

Wing backs Dolly Parton
And Sandra Dee
Running up and down
The Wings
that suits me.

Two wingers
Ginger Roger’s
And Fred Astaire
Lovely feet
Catching the opposition
Unaware.

Up front
Number nine
Scoring all the goals
Dandy and fine
All the crowd
came to see
Is the greatest legend
You got it
Yep it’s me.


Our manager
We couldn’t get
Enough
He was number1
Mr Brian Clough.

Hearts sometimes
Become dying suns
Life draining
No warming fun.

Hearts sometimes
Become black holes
Life draining
Yes freezing cold.

Hearts sometimes
Are hit with poison dart
Life draining ripped
Torn apart.

Hearts sometimes
Collect all your fears
So you can live life
For many years.

Life is a hurricane
Definitely not a breeze
You want me to make
Love to you
Wow yes ****** please.

Life is a cyclone
The weather is inane
What was that you
Said,
You want to  
go round
again.

Didn’t know
The weather
Was going to
To be such fun.
Next time it
Rains
making
Sure to
have some
bullets
in my
gun.