Promenade amblers Ice cream lickers Life guard savers Beach ball kickers. Deck chair sitters Bikini wearers Lovely ladies Summer starers. Sand castle makers Fish and chips For tea A cuddle on The ferris wheel For you and me. People playing In the penny arcade My memories of summer Will never fade.
I am stuck in a bubble I am West Ham Playing football They best I can, I left Upton Park The Boleyn ground For pastures new I took the hammers Sound. On this surface I did not rest, I am the ghost Of Mr Clyde Best I am stuck in a bubble I am West Ham Always and forever A loyal fan.
All of my Deleted Rhymes Have come Back from The dead I asked Them not to But they wanted to Be read. I said It was Not right We debated Late into The night. The problem Was the pen said it Didn’t feel right. So these deleted Rhymes decided Put up a fight. They Took me to court On charges of copy write. These rhymes They had a nerve Did me and my pen Get what we deserve Up in court in me Tie and blazer I said ******* Rhymes and got Out me eraser.
Is there anyone Out there find My rhymes Funny, Please subscribe Send me lots of Of money. If so write Them in a book, On Copyright Me and the cat will overlook . You good poets Out there put Me to shame Im better of Playing the Scrabble game. I’ve had a few Guinness It’s late at night, Im going to sleep Out goes the light.
Walked up the gangway Aboard I went Read all my letters My lover had sent. Unpacked my bags Tried out the bed A nice Four poster to rest my head. Tuxedo on Bow tie straight Of for dinner Going to Staying up late. Asked the steward For some ice in me drink How was I to know The Titanic would sink.
Boarded a plane Of on holiday We Took of We’re on our way. I had a drink And some grub I asked the steward If I could join The mile high club She was fantastic Making love to me Then the bomb Went of over Lockerbie.
Went to America To take in a show Into the night The lights would glow, Went with a beauty Whom I admired Then the shots Rang out a gun had Been fired Music still played The pavement Went red Bullets flying ironically To the sounds of The grateful dead.
If I have offended In this rhyme Im a unlucky Traveller going Through time.
Kids are playing up I’ve tasered them And put them in cuffs. When they come round I’ve got a pit in the ground. If they don’t calm Down For heavens sake I will fill the pit With deadly snakes, If they behave Feed them I might Then after they can Play with dynamite.. My children I know Can be a bit of a pain They told me once They thought I was insane. They love me really So don’t call the cops If my wife finds out I’ve written this crap She will blow her ****** top.
Window cleaner Cleaned many a pane, What I’ve seen Would put Babe station to shame. People having A meal for two, Up on me ladder I had a perfect view. Through peoples Windows I had To clean, Eye sore carnal pleasure, Do you know What I mean, Me ladders A treasure.