All this rain we are having I brought myself  a gnu
It arrived at my door with out a paddle
I'm thinking what do I do now
so I went a brought brite red saddle.
My aunt died in the night I kept in a box
It got out somehow I flattened it with my sock.
I'm not very good at smelling,
But my pet bee can hum
I like whiting crappie ditties its
Fun fun fun fun fun.
Nurse nurse where are you
I do like to be beside the seaside.

I'm getting old,I'm always cold
Do I really want to die.
Bones are creaking
Mind is failing
I can see no reasons why.
They stuck me in a chair
To watch TV
Hope and despair collide
Oh **** I've had a heart attack
I've only gone and died.
I was old, no longer cold
ive gone to meet my maker
Of in a box to the village crem
With my mate thee undertaker.

Thee enigma of stone
On our hallow land
The ****** snow shall coat,
Ptarmigan and the wise old owl
cuddling to stay afloat.
Hydra the nymph and the dragonfly
Warming their minds for spring
While The northern lights do a dance
And the nightingale begins to sing
Rays of the sun,summer has begun
hares and the bluebells do jive
Thee enigma of stone on our hallowed land
As everything seems to come alive.
Green turns to brown as the warm air fades
Thee onset of winter draws near
Ptarmigan and the wise old owl say **** not again.

Three blind mice
One on dope
So thee other two shot him
Now they can't cope
A problem occurs
The end you cannot see
Two don't work its always
Better with three.
Rivers become seas
Without the banks and trees
I cannot cope when it's me me,
Three hands on a clock while it's telling time
Two little mices now swinging for their crime,
Troublesome

Sitting down in puddles
Splashing in the rain
Eating cucumber sarnies
My actions are never plain.
Anything for a little titter
Anything for a little laugh
sitting here writing this ****
In a clown suit ,in my bath.
Comedian,chameleon
300 shades of red and green
Busted my gut trying to be funny
The surgeon removed my spleen.
Sitting down in puddles
With my sandwiches oh so wet
ten days straight in that clown suit
A little I began to fret.
Sweet days .

They come and go
These horrible thoughts,
Not staying long
Never to be caught.
The thought police
Are grabbing and pulling,
There I stand a rusty shilling.
Twisted mind a tortured soul
I swim around my begging bowl.
The Ravens peck at my open eyes
A nightmare in which I live
Sometimes I wish that I could cry
My head is an open sieve.

Recorded my life on a postage stamp
I used a five inch brush
Once cycled up Mount Everest
Who cares
The Sherpa didn't know
How to change a wheel
So I retired and lived in Kent.
Frankly my dear I don't give a ****
David Bowie to the laughing gnome
Sit there on your uneaten mushroom
And i weave you a song on the loom
Album me up I'm just a lost sticker
Lights going twenty watts
I don't like cricket I love it
Head lock holiday