The philosophy of life
Is knowing why
We eat
We poo
We will surely die
Old Chinese proverb
Told by my dad
Man who cooks
Cabbage and peas
In same ***
Must be
Stark raving mad.

Gingerbread man
Gingerbread man
Running hundred
Metres as fast as
You can
Up to the winning line
He tripped
He gave a cough
And his head fell off.
Tragedy for the
Gingerbread man
His head falling of
Wasn’t in his plan,
Crossed the line
Ginger had finished
The race
Not before the dog
Ran on and ate
His tasty face.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I would rather
Bonk a pig
Than make love
To you
I think the missus
She hit me of course
Now the cow is filing
For a divorce.
Still I see
romance ain’t dead
So I shot the pig
And ate it instead.

Pretty day
Pretty night
Pretty ladies
Pretty sight
Pretty twins
Pretty dark
Pretty light
Pretty will
Pretty won’t
Pretty do
Pretty don’t
Pretty boyfriend
Pretty girlfriend
Pretty happy
Pretty sad
My two daughters
Have sent
me happily mad
Home is like a
Shakespeare play
Wouldn’t have it
Any other way.

Not very lucky
Feels like life’s a fake
Everybody is
against me,
It’s like
sliding down
A razor blade
Using my testicles
As brakes.

High on happy Mondays
Tuesday morning coming down
Wednesday Thursday flying
Im just Cathy’s clown
Friday rocking
she’s still gentle
on my mind.
Saturday Sunday girl
To whom Im never blind.

We are going to
To the sun in
A paper plane
People at the
Air station
Thought we were
Insane
My mate Fred said
When the time is right
The sun is cooler
We will fly at night,
Will pack some water
It might get hot we
Will wear just underpants
Sandals and socks,
Time for take off
Sunward bound
You guessed it
We didn’t even
get of the
Ground.
Next excursion of
to mars
In a biscuit tin
But first we
Must eat all the
Contents within.