i swear i  felt     y o u



deep


in                          my
chest      before i met
you, like all the time
i  thought   i     w a s
staggering on      for
him i        was really
justheadedtoyou, to
where my feet never
lose            their grip
and the  ends of  my
fingers  won't forget
what your  face feels
like    in   the earliest
hoursofthe morning.
you   h a v e   tied    a
string around        my
lungs    a n d    trailed
it all the   way  across
the ocean with     you,
looped your promises
every twenty miles or
so along the  way so i
have  no choice but to
follow you to find out
where they     end and
w h e r e    we    begin.

my mom began a disconnect
and stopped entertaining my
depressed notions,  I want to
tear the newspaper in front
of her and tell her she will
never understand, buffer
this thought by receding,
folding myself into 1,000
paper cranes for a wish
finding a new life under
the duvet, searching the
skies for shooting stars
but it's been cloudy all
year
long.

and while you were
a willow he is an oak,
a redwood, a maple,
a sequoia- the mightiest
tree- standing humbly
and unassuming in my
background until i
stumbled over one of
his roots and decided
to follow them back to
find leaves that were
so sweet, so smooth,
so familiar on my tongue.

i love that your
hands have touched so
many things- rivers and
valleys and canyons -that
you have made sure the
earth is not your stranger.
please pretend i am the
streets of madrid or the
stone walls of paris.
please know my skin
the way you know how
our planet sighs during
all her seasons. please
love my rivers, my
valleys, my canyons.

i
keep
thinking
you   should
be    taking    up
spaceinmyapartment,
claiming a side of the bed
and the couch, getting    up   in
the middle of the night for a glass
of water. becauseyoumake sense here
in the  soft  afternoon  light  of my living
room, in my  hands, in  my  heart. it's like i
had   been  running  for   so  long  that  i  had
forgotten how to   stop   my legs until you came
along, until you reminded me of what it was like
to           pull               air               through           the
e  n  t  i  r  e  t  y          o  f          m  y        l  u  n  g  s
and not just into the first  two  inches, until you
told me that you think i can be doing so much
more- that i deserve  a  life  bigger  than the
city limits of this missouri town. you are
endless possibilities and unfathomable
potential,   the  slow  simmer    to my
constant  movement.  please don't
stop loving my weak arms and
the heart i have    patched to
my   sleeve.  please    don't
forgettocomebacktome.

t h e      s u n       i s
about    to       come    up
where  you are   and i miss the
morning  grouchiness  that  comes
before your first cigarette of the day,
the   smell  of  my  shampoo   in  your
hair,  your  sleepy  face  buried  into
every warm crevi­ce of   m y   body