sometimes if
you linger long
enough, i can
still feel you
even after you've
gone, i can still
feel you,
i can still

these are the things
your mother never taught you:
(one)
someday you will break down
at a  traffic light, and you will
call your dad and cry and
it will be okay
(two)
you will fail math class
your first try, but eventually
you will get it right
(three)
some days you will feel burnt,
knuckles bruised and shoulders
shaking; you're too old to cry
but when no one is around
you will lose it
(four)
one day you will meet a girl who
changes everything, a girl who
looks at you like she believes that
under your skin you are
an ocean
(five)
under your skin you are
an ocean

why don't I have a real job how can i
be this scared to go back to school i
want to move away but i can't go to
portland like i wanted to because that
was ryan's thing i wonder if he'll still
move there will he take her or will they
break up before then or maybe they'll
get married and stay here because
eyelit is here which means i definitely
need to move away is he going to
propose with a banjo pick like he did
with me or will he get her a real ring
"you put that on the wrong finger" "i'm
not trying to do that yet" "did you hear
that megan he said 'yet'" i miss your
friends and your mom and i can't
stand that i'm not allowed to talk to
them anymore why didn't you pick me
why didn't you pick me why didn't
you pick me god you told me you
loved me you told me you wanted a
farm and kids and a garden why did
you do this to me i loved you so much
i could have filled the ocean with the
contents of my heart that belonged to
you i hate you i hate you i hate

i cannot imagine
a day better than
laughter in the
air pockets
of tipped canoes
and lying out
on a boat
to watch the stars
with you

strip me down
so that i'm just
skin and bone;
tell me i am
everything
that you could
ever want,
tell me i am
everything,
tell me i am