marina

marina Sep 2013

does she really make you hate being alive?

when i asked you why you hate
thursdays, your hands twitched,
and all i wanted
was to hold them close

all i wanted was for you to feel less scared for tomorrow.

marina Sep 2013

you once told me that you had always
wanted to climb the water tower
at crescent lake park

so why don't you
i asked, and you shook your head

it's just a stupid dream

(but i didn't see anything wrong with
wanting to feel
above the rest of the world)

people are silly sometimes

marina Sep 2013

.

for the first time
i am not staying alive
for the good of
every one else

(for the first time
i'm learning
how to love myself)

i'll probably delete this later. i'm just really content right now. i've never felt this independent or okay, and even on days where everything goes to hell, i'm starting to remind myself to stay alive because *i* deserve that, not just because nobody i know deserves to deal the the mess i'd leave behind. it's honestly the best feeling in the word right now?

marina Sep 2013

i won

i wish you would try just one last
time to reach out, so that i could be
the one to walk away

(i'm so ******* proud of myself
for not loving you anymore)

and i don't even feel bad

marina Sep 2013

a letter to my former self

i don't know what
to say to
make things
okay.

and i am sorry
for that.

marina Sep 2013

space stuff

.
i am so tired of my bones being
romanticized; being made of
stardust does not make me infinite or
beautiful.

idon'tevenknow

marina Sep 2013

they say imitation is the highest form of flattery

(i picked up
all your old habits,
and i'm not
letting them
go)

(you were always stubborn too)