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marina Jul 2013
i don't know the difference between
the words you spill when your drunk
and the words you whisper when sober
anymore, even when you're intoxicated
you're a liar.
you used to tell me the truth all the time, and then only when you were drunk or high, and now...
marina Jul 2013
i am not in love
with you, but i am in love
with the way you smile

when you get simply
overwhelmed by something too
beautiful for words
i could never tell you this in person, but i look up to you so much.  so thank you for shouting my name when i walk into a room, and for caring about my story, and for always closing your eyes when good music comes on.
--
found this in my drafts.  it still rings true
marina Jul 2013
for all the times you were the only one
who could make me genuinely happy,
thank you

(i mean it)
the title is from montrose by man overboard.
i'm having a lot of emotions at once.
marina Jul 2013
i've been told time and time again that
we are made of stardust, to the point where it's
not even poetic anymore, it's just
science. and while they're something beautiful in
chemical reactions and the attraction between
us and the earth's core, there is nothing beautiful
about the way biology was ruined for me
in seventh grade when we dissected frogs and i realized
that's actually what we look like inside-
we don't house constellations or milky ways or anything
worth staring at
                            (but even still, i couldn't look away).

i wonder if there's any chance of us being rescued from our flesh,
i wonder if maybe one day after we're turned to dust
again, our remnants will break free of earth's gravity
and we'll get the chance to be stars once more.

(i wonder if the reason we reach towards the sky at night
is because we can feel our brothers calling us back home)
this is bad and i'm sorry
marina Jul 2013
&las;; night was the first time i had faith
in anybody in a long time (maybe because it's easy to breathe
when you're speeding down back streets
and i only just then realized that i'd been
held under too long)

(maybe it had something to do with the way
your hands glided over the wheel like you could care less
about where we were going or when we would come back)

(maybe it was the way you promised that there would be a
next time)

(maybe it was just you)
last night my friend rescued me and two other of us from sitting outside a church for an hour and he took us around town in his truck and we blasted the music and when the chorus hit we all chanted 'have faith in me' and it was really funny because it was like for that hour i realized that i'd been feeling suffocated for a ridiculously long time. and it's like when i used to swim, and at meets in the long events that one little breath was like the weight of the world being lifted off your shoulders, even if just for a second, but that was all you needed to reassure you that you weren't actually gonna die and even if the end of the race seemed really far away you had enough in you to keep going because just imagine finishing strong, even if it hurts, and the way that first breath feels at the end is like the best feeling in the world.
marina Jul 2013
i'll shut my ears and eyes,
but i can't shut you out
any more

(i don't know why you keep
returning when i have nothing
left to give)
marina Jul 2013
i know we've lost time
but we haven't lost each other,
no matter how long we're apart
i could never love another
(not the way that i loved you)
sorry it's so cheesy but i'm really happy because eeee (:
i got to see one of the counselors from my camp today and he was just the best so it was really nice and i can't.  it was just nice.  and next friday is warped tour and i'll get to see my brother and drew&jake; and it's really easy to be positive when seeing them is happening so soon.  also warped tour is my favourite day of the year and i've been waiting too long for this.
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