i can't dive right in anymore-
i gave up baby steps
when i thought life
was about taking chances,
but i take it back

i can't do this anymore

i need somebody to guide me slowly
so i don't choke,
because i'm terrified of drowning now
after all the times i've been
held under for too long

(thank you for knowing this
and keeping me afloat)

we stole dandelions from the fields
like hard-time criminals
and watched as they melted
in the palms of our hands--

i should have realized it was a
perfect euphemism
for the months to follow.

attraction is just
a synthetic reaction,
but we've got
*chemistry

and, i swear
nobody could have
                      saved her
that day, she was a victim
    to graffiti and
       road signs.

you* are my daisy
by the c h a i n l i n k
fence.

step one:
find somebody who is
beautiful, kind, charming, intelligent,
witty, caring, and
broken

step two:
fall so in love that you are convinced
that no matter how many problems
this person has,
they are absolutely perfect

step three:
when they break down and show you their scars,
hold them when they cry,
kiss them on the cheek,
and make them tea

step four:
when they tell you they wish
they weren't so ****** up,
and that they wouldn't blame you
if you walked away

promise that you'll stay

step five:
realize that just staying is too inadequate,
that everybody says they'll stay
then has their bags packed in a week

immediately upon realization,
swear that you will not-leave
because staying requires no change or effort,
while not leaving is a risk

step six:
let the person know that they are worth that risk

i wonder what you'd look like
if you were stripped of your skin,
would your bones be as perfect
as your shell?

or would they be heavy with scars
etched into you slowly, filled with ink,
and laced with names you
wish you could forget?

i am beginning to wonder when i started finding
imperfections so beautiful

maybe it was when i decided
i would never be perfect,
and that the only way i could look at myself in the mirror
was if i started with the ugly scars on my ankle
and made my way up slowly
past my knobby knees,
prominent hip bones,
too-small chest,
pointy nose,
until i looked myself in the
eyes,
taking in every abnormality or distinct deficiency
until i could convince myself they were unique enough
to be considered in someone else's eyes
"pretty"

i began doing the same thing with everyone else,
turning their flaws into something charming
so much
so that when i came across you,
i didn't have to think about it-
i knew from the start that you would be
perfect.