I wanted to show you
What I saw in my own
Eyes. I had to fit them
Into litte words in English
That you could understand
Then line them up just right
In order of one two three
Now do you see? I took a
piece of charocoal and a clean
White page and began to
draw that thing I saw
Don't you see? I made
A song I danced a dance
Just so you could understand
Only so many places for words
And lines that I can stumble over
Until like lightning or a hammer
Strike the same point twice
Until all the expressions seem
Lifeless and or trite

I’ll never be your lover
Just a visitor in cold covers
Ask me to spend the night
& by morning I’ll take flight

I’ll never be yours
Racing through revolving doors
Trapped in a loveless paradigm
I’m afraid you’re out of time

away to slumber
with your starry-eyed presence
enslaved in my mind

I stood, with back arched, once,
waiting for pride to find my side,
I tied the knots inside of my stomach into hope,
I was still sinking, then,
but could not recognise the inertia, for what it was,
or which signpost heading it carried.

I thought I could be
whatever the world entrusted my hand to,
I thought I could calm these sporadic weaknesses.
I spent time thinking everything over.
or, wasted time. I'm not sure-
I never reached any reliable verdict.
still,
the world turned and turns.
things hardly change.
or, at least, seem to consistently stay the same.
and the thoughts that keep me in constant check,
foliage on my branches,
weight on my ankles,
ice under my tread.

Someday, I'll figure out what I am,
what I should probably do,
how to live
like I mean it,
like I'm not planning to die
or live, trying.