34b
8.5
20
36
29
140
5' 7"
18
16
8:30
6:00

is there are a way out of the blue?


when we are buried so deep in our
own bodies that the surface is just
a dream, try to live for today but
you are living for next summer
count the worries off my back
like notches in wood or welts
from belts don't need no
father figure with his
strap because I am
my own abuser,
I laid myself
o u t   o n   t h e   t a b l e   t o
condemn my
parts against
the stained
oak, white.
palms. white.
knuckles. Each
draw back is a
word

love.your.self.
love.your.self.

the sparrows
followed me
down the hill
wrote scripture
in their trails
and the wind
blew against
my skin.

occasionally i feel a
need to draw you,
to paint the veins in
your arms, to write
you into the margins
of other things i'm
working on. but i let
it sit, i let it stew just
on the edge of my
fingertips and pulsing
in the palm of my
hand until it is less
of an oncoming train
and more like a paper
plane on a playground.
i draw myself, i paint
myself, i write myself
into the margins instead.

go       d    
at       the
        end       of the      
        night i       am  just      
     looking       simply        
             f o r       someone      
who talks       like      y o u

chuck said a lot of
things that should
scare me but it was
only when he said
I must find my place
in the ministry and
i wanted to cry out
and tell him I don't
think that I have one.