marie

marie Jul 2021

So you keep asking me why I never finish reading these books anymore.
The fact is that I hate the first part of the book.
I hate it. So I always skip straight to the good part.
You know, to the moment when the main characters become from enemies to lovers, or when one of them dies suddenly in a car crash.
I hate it when everything in the story is okay.
Maybe it is because I'm so used to it when its not.
So take me to the good part.
Its called good for a reason after all, right?

imbalance.

marie Jul 2021

❁

i cant get you out of my ******* head

marie Jul 2021

home

you said you wanted to go home.
wanted some time to clean up your garden from all the broken sticks from the trees that were all over the place caused by the storm.
you said you wanted to go home.
feed your cats, draw on your night stand, while smoking a cig and looking at the stars.
you said you wanted to go home.
make yourself some pasta and waiting for the water to boil while overthinking and looking through the window above the sink of your kitchen.
you said you wanted to go home.
to clean up all the mess that Ive left behind, put the million pieces I broke back together.
you said you wanted to go home. and then i said i wanted to go home too.
so you agreed.
but what you missed is, when i said home, i didnt mean a building, neither a location. home is where people belong.
and i belong with you, my home- is you.
and i truly want to, go home.

why do i make things so big when i dont even want it? ig its bc im never gonna actually have all those big things in reality, isnt it?

marie Jul 2021

cheers to another one

what you gave me in one life, they took from me in one hour.

marie Jun 2021

smoke, smoke, smoke

i know why i love the smell of cigarettes so much.

it is bc it smelled like you.
it is because i miss the times when i got mad at you when you smoked more than five a day.
so now that you left, i cant stop thinking about all the things we did.
so everytime you popped up in my head,
everytime all these memories came back,
i kept thinking of how much i wanted you, how much i loved you.
although i couldnt have you.
but i could have a part of you.
something from you.
i could have the smell of your cigarettes and the thought of them calming you down after a long day.
so everytime you got in my head,
i went ahead and lighted up another, and another cigarette
and then i felt so near you,
almost like you were sitting next to me,
exhaling the whitish smoke i used to hate.

i know why i love the smell of cigarettes so much.

marie Jun 2021

dancing around like a kid and thinking of you.

everything changed when i started dancing instead of running to burn calories.

#ed

marie May 2021

“what a waste”

I hate you so much.
I dont want to, but i do.
you make me feel that way
do i make you feel the same?

I think of doing terrible things
I wanna **** you in cold blood,
I wanna see you suffer from above,
like you did when i was young.

I wanna see you hurting, in pain.
and do nothing like you did,
when i was at the bottom, lost my faith,
and you were just sitting there, smiled a bit.

Im gonna end up killing you,
or killing myself,
cause i wanna finally let go,
and i will, only by death.

#dollhouse