I miss the time when I actually enjoyed eating that burger you offered me last night.
I miss when eating a pack of Cheetos wasnt one of my biggest fears in the entire world.
I miss the times i was eating a healthy amount of food by the time i needed it.
I miss the times my mind wasnt a calculator every single second of each day.
I miss the time I could sleep at night without my stomach hurting, asking for at least a glass of water.
I dont want to have a mental breakdown whenever i eat a chocolate.
I wanna remember the taste of pizza again.
I want to eat a whole donut by myself.
I dont want my happiness to depend on the number of a scale.
I wanna eat dinner again, something except a salad.
I dont want to workout everyday.
I want to finally feel happy without my stomach screaming.
I want to stop.
I want to eat.

i hate it here.
i hate it.
i hate it so much.
why i am in this thing, this cage we called body
i dont wanna be here.
its cold, and dark.
no light, i cant get out.
i wanna scream, but
i cant shout.
it doesnt let me
my brain is screaming at me
Thats too much! thats too little
i am so tired of all of this.
i dont wanna be here
please, can someone get me out?
i hate it here.

firstly, i felt like the first sunbeam every morning lighting up every little bee that jumps from a flower to another.
now i realised
i feel for you what the moon feels for the sun. endless love, day and night, so close and also so far. so cold and so warm, so bright but so dark.
i wanna show this to the whole universe.
i wanna open my heart.
but i dont know if what im feeling, is that which we call love.
the only thing i know tho is that the moon never meets the sun, but she still shines every night for him so he can love her back.
so imma shine bright like that little ball in my sky, so whenever you look up,
ill be there.
always by your side.

trust.
i trust so many people
i trust so easily
i have expectations for ppl
but in the end
all i get is nothing
all i am always gonna get is nothing.
so why do i keep hurting myself?
why do i expect things for others
why do i trust?
i know trust has a price
but the more i pay, the less i get back.

i want you to know,
that im here
through day and night,
ill be near

i want you to know
that i care
and when you need someone to carry your fears,
when you need someone to cover your tears,
ill be there, in the dark

cause when your dark wont let you out,
ill be lighting the candle,
and ill wait for u outside
and ill be by your side

you cant always see me
cause its dark where you are,
but im here and im not leaving
until the darkness gives you back

i believe in you, you can do this.
scaring the thoughs, travelling through the tunnels

tho if you cant, it is in fact okay.
cause iknow you tried, you fought this pain,
and whatever, ever happens,
you know that you always got this.

so i just want you to know, that ill be watching.
watching right above you.
cause if you go down i do too,
and if anything happens to you,
i just want you to know,
that I was, will and am still,
loving you.

mom look! im falling asleep
in his arms, travelling through his dreams
mom im falling asleep
please, please cant you see?

im happy mom, im happy.
dont cry, but smile for me
i dont like to see u like this
remember me just a bit

cause we ll meet again.
i promise. ill be waiting
but for now, just keep smiling
cause finally, my pain is fading