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 Jan 2016 Lizley
Peter Cullen
1994.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Peter Cullen
Scrolling,
up and down the page.
An old soul,
from a different age.
A soul,
with memories of fields.
A place.
Without a place to be.

Underneath the sky each night.
All the love
and all the fights.
Never captured by the lens.
Never needing to pretend.

The freedom, that we took for granted.
Lost, with all the hope
we planted.
In the future
and the world.....
Bring me back to 94.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
I walk over to our usual spot.

I sit down,

Silence.

I get up to get myself a drink.

I leave,

Chatter.

I can't put my finger on it
either.

Not even I can
put it to an
end.

They choose not to live a life
with me as a part
because I live with
something.

Somebody says something rude at the meal.

They look at one another,

Laughter.

I say a point of view at the meal.

They look at one another,

I'm left
Alone.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
I believe,
to this day,
that everyone walking
by me
in the galleria,
the lakeside,
or the parking
lot
is just
as
confused
as
me.

I trust,
to believe,
that so many of us
are fully exhausted
because
we are trying
to get what
we
want.

Whether the light
burned out in the
spotlight for a show,
or rain is
pouring down
on the new field
on opening day,
at least
we are
here
this is
better
than
gone.

I know,
that some,
even me,
don’t quite know
what we
want.
I think,
we think,
we don’t deserve
our dream.

What if,
that dream,
tells us something
we never question?

The question we
are subliminally
asked spreads
among us
in our heart,
“why are you
doubting
yourself?”

So what,
if you forget
the words to
that song you wrote.
Who cares,
if you strike out your
first time at bat?
Why so bad,
if not crowned
at the beauty pageant?
It’s ok,
if our confidence
seems to overbear
our
skill.
How else do we learn?

How about,
taking the hard
work
and comparing it
to the dream in your
head?
Someday,
they will look the same
and you will smile
the way you do
when you dream.
Keep dreaming to find your place in life.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
If anyone ever approached me
as I looked forward to the new
area
that people and I would be
locked inside Satan's palace
through the gates of Hell,
I would look straight across
and fall to the ground laughing.

I did get locked in the gates.
I was overcome by a devil who
couldn't stop making everyone
miserable.
Everything looked so familiar.
I had felt the heat from the fiery flames
and I was in pain last time I was
locked.

How could it be?
I thought this ship had
sailed.
The ship landed and docked
into Hell where we were left
and abandoned.

Satan took a break,
we all took a breath,
later on our iron chains fell off
our wrists and axles,
the flames turned into
smoke and they as well
died down.

Today is no heaven but
Hell is in the past.
I don't know how long,
so I just seize the day.
Let the good sink in
and the bad roll off
to the point where I'll say,
that ship
has sailed.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
Go to the shop to get away
from all the troubles in the
world.
Order my favorite flavor
and have all sweetness put
together in one small cup.
Feel the bite from my spoon
flow down inside me and
numb all my worry.
Ice cream is a wonderful
treat to have and to eat.
Strawberry pink, brown
chocolate, green mint chip,
and rainbow sprinkles.
Just a little color to
brighten the mood.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
This is the worst time
to be thinking about
Quitting.
My mind thinks of **** as my
face is red and my teeth grit.
I feel the nerve in my arms to
punch you and claw your face.
Maybe you should be the one
bleeding noticeably this time.
I am sick of the haters hating
and the babies crying.
I want to cry with the little babies
but I have to forget that I live with
something.
Even though I use my words and
they are heard but never listened,
I know someone will want to.
I'll keep going,
I'll be here,
I won't lose control.
You're not going to bleed,
as long as you do for me
as well as you.
I like to think there is a place to be
and people to hug when something
isn't wrong.
There are, and that my friend
is you.
We all have our disagreements
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
Where have you been?
I lie on the concrete
with my telephone beside
my stretched right arm
waiting for a ring.

I wait and wait
I later kneel and pray
that God will be forgiving
of this decision that isn't
really mine.

Walk into a wildfire and
let it burn me to
ashes.
Stand in the middle of
the rotary and jump in
at the perfect second.
Walk to the top of the
biggest skyscraper and
jump.

Where have you been?
What if I actually did that?
Even if you don't want me
anymore wouldn't you
want to know if I
were really
Gone?

How am I supposed to know
if not one of you gives me a call?
I look at the phone on the mini table.
It's not
plugged
in.

Thanks for
unplugging me from
the crew.
Don't worry,
I have many outlets.
This poem being
one.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
People can stab me as many times as they need
right in my heart with a blade of name calling and insults related to my baggage they can see that is not in my hand being held by my choice.
Today I live and not even a blade of insulting names or bullets of jokes that tease for what I can't change does not **** me.
Nobody brings me down.
They always try to take my hand and pull me down.
I just let go.
That's all we need.
 Jan 2016 Lizley
Luna Casablanca
I miss the feeling of being held
like a baby in somebody's arms.
I would shed my tears and catch
my breath while my face was
buried in their innocent chest.
As we had the moment I would
hear a thousand thumps and
feel a drumbeat to my face.
It was
their
Heart.

Today I lay alone like a child
locked in their bedroom
avoiding their family and
refusing to reveal the truth
of the interactions they face
in the outside world.
I have no need to avoid my
family but my friends avoid me.
WHY!

I learn to live with no arms
to hold me nobody to lay
beside me and accept that
nobody has a heart that is
understanding enough to
beat for me.
It's just
A
Phase.
People come and go and some have a hard time accepting.
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