These days, not much seems to be working
Words don't flow so smoothly
The patterns are off
The rhymes predictable
The themes, all too common

When stuck in a rut
One can't do much
But ride out the waves of frustration
And hope to your God for inspiration
And hope to your God, for inspiration

I see you go by everyday
I come close enough for a hug
but refuse to take it
thinking
It won't be good..

I remember the time
when we gave the other a hug
I would have kissed you away
but stopped myself
thinking
Don't even try.

I remember the times
I decided to not do anything
about it
and then it hurt me more
and no matter what I think
I can't bring myself to a conclusion.

It's not the way I wanted this to happen.
It's colder beneath the covers.

It's no one's fault.
That I need
The things I can't give myself.

*Hugs are a good place to start.

Can you capture forever in a box?
Can you ship it to me overnight?
Can you capture eternity and store it
In the shadows where you hide from the light?

I met a boy.
I mean I didn't meet him like in person or anything.

Let me start over.

I know a boy.

Every step he took,
Was with a careful kind of grace.
His lips were soft and warm,
And never would anything pass through them,
Other than words of kindness.
I miss him,
And his accidental beauty.

I've come to terms with a few things:

Sometimes life *****.
Sometimes life is unfair.
Sometimes isn't forever.

I listen to loud music,
On full volume.
And I like it.

People ask me how,
Why,
Or what I hear in that yelling.

It's quite simple.
After being so lost, for so long,
Sometimes it takes literal screaming to crack my surface.

So I listen to loud music,
On full volume,
And I like it,
Because I can feel.

The last thing I thought of,
Before the goodbye,
Was the warmth of your lips,
And the sun in your eyes.
My pliable mindset,
Is a waste of your time,
I'm not looking for answers,
Just looking to find.

I'll conjure all my thoughts,
And I'll try to unwind.
Sit still and relaxed,
Just to pass time.
I'll battle with grace,
At least on the outside.
While the hole in my chest,
Fights the war with my mind.

Walks late at night,
Through the dark woods,
And whatever I do,
I feel up to no good
And I can't find the footing,
Of where I once stood,
I have fallen and broken,
More times than I should.

I'll conjure all my thoughts,
And I'll try to unwind.
Sit still and relaxed,
Just to pass time.
I'll battle with grace,
At least on the outside.
While the hole in my chest,
Fights the war in my mind.