if only you knew
how i felt inside
as you stared into my soul
and locked eyes with mine,
if only you knew
how my heart cried
as you sang to me
your beautiful lullaby.

no matter how much you try to let go,
or try to change your mind,
the heart will always win,
every single time.

yesterday,
in a rush to get to school,
i ripped my
blue and white shirt
off it's hanger
without a thought of you.

later,
i glanced in the mirror
and found
small white spots
hardened and scattered
on the sleeves.

i washed them out
and ran off to school.

it wasn't until
spanish class
that i realized the spots were from
you,
from that frosting fight
we had so long ago.

and so,
i smiled to myself
at the happy memory
from happy times
of baking cakes
and frosting fights.

it comes-
from deep in your heart
from the depths of your soul
from every hidden corner of your mind.
it's communicated through-
the words you say
the tone you speak with
the light in your eyes
the genuine expression.
it holds a power-
to make a difference
to change lives
to become joyful yourself.
isn't the same as being nice-
it goes above and beyond
it endures hardships
it says, '"i care"
it is authentic.

not always easy,
but definitely worth it.
kindness is a gift.

to every son and daughter
who has ever lost a father,
to every girl and boy
who has lost all joy,
to all the young and old
who have been sold
into believing that-
"nobody loves you"
and "nobody cares,"
"you'll never be good enough"
so you feel life's unfair.
all those people have been
deceivin'
because all those things you've been
believin'
are false.
they are lies,
so dry
your eyes
spread your wings and fly,
because you are loved,
and you always will be.

and he fell for her-

a shorter girl with shorter hair,
with an angelic voice that can't be compared,
a girl that's skinnier and older too,
with eyes like an ocean blue.
maybe she has a better style,
but he's only known her a little while,
and maybe he sees in each day,
how she's beautiful in every way.
now my broken heart must try to mend,
because i'll only ever be the best friend.

your devious dagger
was thrown through
my heavy heart
which dropped dead
into scattered scraps
and pitiful pieces
in a broken, ******,
mess.

if your love is truly patient and kind,
then Lord, change my heart and mind.
if your love isn't full of jealousy and pride,
then Lord, i wanna set myself aside.
if your love cares more about others,
then Lord, help me to love my brothers.
if your love doesn't get annoyed,
then Lord, i wanna always spread joy.
if your love is genuinely forgiving,
then Lord, in the present i'll be living.
if your love rejoices in what is true,
then Lord, i wanna love like you do.
if your love never gives up,
then Lord, in faith i will jump.
if your love is always persistent,
then Lord, i wanna reach those who are distant.
if your love has the power to change lives,
then Lord, i give you mine.

negative temperatures
may keep me away from school,
but negative temperatures
can't keep me from you.

my constant corner
is at the back
on the elevated platform
next to the drums
where there is just enough room for
the drummer
and the bassist.
where there is just enough room for
the drummer
and me.

your normal nook
is at the front
of the regular stage
between the keys and electric
where there is plenty of space for
the vocalists and
the guitarists.
where there is plenty of space for
you.

it's as if we're separated
by a musical fence
we're never placed next to each other
because it just wouldn't make sense,
but i guess last wednesday
was the exception.

i arrived early and you were already there
you told me that we'd be next to each other, how rare!

we talked
we tuned
we plugged in
and very soon
we were playing music.

we ran through the set list
which consisted
of three songs,
we exchanged smiles
all the while
we kept the music going strong.

at one point
during the bridge
of song two,
you needed help with the chords
and it was really loud
so i leaned in close to you.

i yelled the note names
as my fiery fingers played through
the progression,
your eyes said it all
and deciding to fake it
was your confession.

later on-
i continued to help with chords
you kept me from being bored
you smiled at me
when we
returned to that bridge.

at the end-
to the stage our team returned
and that is when i learned
as the pastor closed in prayer
that maybe you do care...

looking at me
you held your arm out
wanting me to join you at your side.

and so i did.

everytime i think of you
i have to remind myself
that your feelings for me are
nonexistent.
it's easier said than done,
but i know i need to let go
and maybe someday you'll be
persistent.

the season has begun
and tonight was oh so fun
it was the first dinner of many
we had turkey a plenty
yet there was only one lone
wishbone.
i knew right then and there
and maybe it wasn't fair,
that i had to be the one to break
i had to be the one to make
a wish and hope for it to
come true.
so i grabbed one end
and it started to bend,
i couldn't believe my eyes
when in my hand was the bigger size
which means my wish about you
will possibly come true.

dear uncle,
i began flipping through old photos
and was reminded of you.
it has been over a year
but right now my:
eyes are filling with tears
heart is breaking into pieces
lungs can't get enough oxygen
body wants to shut down.

i took you for granted
i pushed you away
i'm the worst niece because
i ignored you everyday,
even when i remembered
to pray.

i thought you would break through
i thought you would break free
i know it was an accident
but can't you see,
how it's hurt everybody,
including me.

it's hard to believe
it's hard to understand
you came to church with us three days before
but things don't always go as planned,
and i was too worried about me
to even shake your hand.

i wish i could go back in time
i wish i could be genuine
let you know that i love you
because maybe then,
i wouldn't have these regrets
and be stuck here with only my pen.

i know where you are
i know you're in a better place
but it feels like so long
until i get to see your face,
again.

my exhausted eyes want rest
my burdened brain calls for a break
my fatigued feet can't take another step
i don't think i can take
this anymore.

but that's when he gently whispers to me
and calls me dear daughter
he tells me that when i'm weary and weak
just come to the living water
and find strength.

i really should be getting to bed
but all these thoughts race through my head,
i really should be getting some rest
but this is the time that i think best...

you feel like you have no worth
yet you have a reason to be on this earth,
you look in the mirror and you are displeased
yet you fail to see that you're a true beauty.

we feel emptiness in our hearts
for those we loved and are no longer a part.
we get excited when someone new comes along
for we sing the melodies to a new song.

you talk about sun and rain and snow
and how none of us would know- (including)
you, that when they awoke today
an accident would end their earthly stay.

we try our hardest and sometimes we fail
but try to get back up and pave a new trail
we all go through seasons of sorrow
but find hope to make it to tomorrow.

you try to fit in and everyone says you're wrong
when all you want is to feel a sense of belong
you feel so lonely and want to give up the fight
when at the end of the tunnel there really is a light.

we travel through each and every day
forgetting we have power with the words we say,
we make wishes upon stars
forgetting how blessed we really are.

we both strive to be the one that's right
we have our own opinions that sometimes clash
but i'd rather say, "sorry, i'm wrong"
than see our friendship crash.

i don't understand why you always see me as
sassy
i won't deny that sometimes you are
right
but most of the time i'm tryin' to be
classy
while you drive me crazy every
night.

you'll never know how my heart melted,
you'll never know the thoughts that raced through my mind at 100 mph,
you'll never know that i long for more than best friends.
i know you were only trying to get my attention,
that's the only reason,
you didn't actually mean anything.
or did you?

you were right there
wanting to stay on schedule
but i couldn't help saying hi to another friend.

i was distracted
and you knew it
so you did the only thing you could.

with both hands
you placed them on each side of my face
and turned my head towards yours.

my heart was racing, melting,
and i was in shock
like a startled deer on the highway.

i don't remember a thing you said
only that with big eyes
i said okay.

today we decided to bake a cake.

it was my idea really,
you said you were the expert,
but i wanted to help.

i poured water and oil
while you cracked eggs,
then i stirred and stirred
until you poured it in the pans.
you placed them in the oven
that i avoided
because it is my greatest
fear.

we waited until they were done
we waited until they cooled
so that we could decorate.

again you took charge,
but i didn't mind
because i could've watched you all day,
taking your time-
so delicate, fragile, gentle.

your handwriting is beautiful
and you wouldn't let me write,
so i chose to respond
with a frosting fight.

we chased each other in circles,
in circles we chased each other.

you grabbed my wrist
(if only you decided
to interlock our fingers,
i wouldn't have minded).

so i grabbed your wrist
and we danced around-
our feet were pound (ing)
frosting hit the ground
we laughed with a joyous sound
and then you found...

the perfect opportunity.
you smeared it in my,
face
nose
hair
clothes,
so i chased you up the stairs
and you tried restraining me,
i chased you down the stairs
and you helped me see,
that we had no time left
for fun,
we had to finish the cake
we begun.

so i grabbed the sprinkles,
you caught the ones that fell;
i handed you the candles,
frantically listening for the door bell.

it came too soon
we had to hurry put everything in random places act like everything was normal
because the cake was a surprise.

later we finished,
you lit the cake,
it was truly beautiful,
what we can make,
when we work together.

let's keep this going,
i could talk all night,
because with you,
everything feels right.

i want you to be my shining prince
but it's easier to convince
myself that it's me who you
hate, even when i know it's not true.
i don't wanna grieve
so it's easier to believe
that together we can't spend
forever; you're just my best friend.

my heart cries,
take me back!
my soul longs,
take me back!
let's go to Columbus
where we spent a week under the
shining summer sun
adventuring downtown
and there was never a frown
upon my face.
where we spent a week
singing soulful songs
at the top of our lungs
with the rest of our young
generation.
where we spent a week
powerfully and purposefully praising
our one true King
who is high above everything
and all we are.
where we spent a week
beautifully bonding
with those who don't care about fame
and are the same
as us.
my heart cries,
for when
my soul longs,
for when
we go next year to Orlando
where i know without trying
i will fall in love with you,
all over again.

it's funny how
even though i barely knew him
i thought he was so great,
yet the longer we were together
i realized that
it wasn't meant to be.
because my heart longed for another,
one who i've known for much longer,
my best friend.

last night-
our eyes met across the room
and I couldn't help but think,
that maybe we have a chance.
can I just assume
that you won't let me sink,
and together we will dance...
forever.

i have this friend
this crazy talented friend
mi compañera en la clase de español cinco
my faithful lunch buddy
the one who inspired me
to pick up the pen again
and open my mind
and let the words flow onto the page
without thinking
or second guessing.
and i'm so grateful for her.

your birthday is four days away
i've been counting down
each
and
every
day
until i get to send you the happy birthday message.
i know i'll blend in with all the rest
but i hope you'll smile when
my name appears on your screen.
and i hope you'll reply with a heartfelt thanks
because that would mean the world to me.

she should probably stop
collecting coffee cups.
everytime she asks me to do the dishes
or everytime i decide to surprise her
i always stand there
looking up
and wondering
how she ever found a place for them all.
everything is put away
except for the small one that remains
in my hand.
staring at the packed cupboards
i feel lost
like i'm in unknown territory
and don't know where to go.
the wrong move will set off
bombs, explosions, bombs
and nobody wants that.
so i set it on the counter
and leave it for my mother
coming to the conclusion that
she must be a magician.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
but is that even possible?
to dream so much that
you run out of dreams?
that would be a sad thing really.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
but is it something you can limit?
only if you give in to the words
and stop believing in the limitlessness.
that would be a sad thing really.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
that i'm wasting my time
but am i?
my days are brighter with dreams
they give me hope for the future.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
is it because they have none?
so they choose to accuse
and discourage an innocent soul?
maybe they need hope for the future.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
and i set my goals too high
and i should be ashamed of myself
but i'm not. i love who i am
because i'm a dreamer.

i'm free, i'm free
nobody's got a hold on me
and i'm loving it.
back to crushes and dreams
things that never seem
to come true.
you've been there through it all
standing firm, standing tall
you always listened.
but you're growing up
and i'm still just a pup
and i can't make you wait.
'cause i know what you long for
opportunity is knocking at the door
while ours remains closed.
so i'll hope and pray
each and every day
that you'll choose me.
because without you i'm dead
you are my best friend
and i love you.