My secret thoughts reside
in the backyard of my existence
where darkness cries out in shivers
clear to my bones.  
I wake up to find them
packed neatly on shelves in my mind
and wish I could just crawl away,
be left alone.

They come from my emotions,
dressed in sadness
with no intention of ever  comforting
what they transform.
There are days
when they make a decision
to rearrange the places I stand
until I am left without hope,
forlorn.

My secret thoughts are the lyrics of my being
which bid my heart
to walk on a white canvas
of the purest snow.
Oh the damage
that could be done
if I spoke them aloud,
my true feelings revealed
with these eyes full of woe.

I cannot bend or I'll break
so I hide on these shelves
in my mind,
packed neatly away
from all that challenges
my tree of life,
such as falling leaves.
My secret thoughts control
how my tongue refrains
from speech,
So my true feelings,
you will.....
never see.

I've been wondering where you'll show up

If you surface as a hum in the wind,
faint but reassuring, touching the exposed skin of my face,
your briefness would match ours,
you'd scatter my thoughts,
laughter trickling away from me like the days
that stand between me and the time I touched against slowness
and saw it as something beautiful,
You'd be gone as soon as I saw you
...Just like I'm afraid of

Maybe you'll be a cat, wandering around corners,
wise, mesmerizing eyes
I already feel like there's something you know
and I'm desperately craving it

Perhaps I'll stumble upon you,
in the form of a sprout, reaching into the air from the earth
green and vibrant and alive with a freedom my
chest hasn't felt since your lips left
me breathless

It certainly won't be you as your real human self, though
no tall form will fall out of my dreams and into reality
Much as I've spilt my desires into you (without your knowledge),
built you up into my angel
my fallen-from-the-sky lover
trapped in my never-ending thought bubble,

You won't save me

much as I'm sick of the loneliness

My metaphorical angel,
I'll leave you as a memory
let you gently remind me of soft times
and hope to meet you again one day.

Depression's cold hearted grip will slowly tighten,
And strangle you  to the point of just past broken,
And keep you prisoner.
It will hold you captive for as long as it pleases,
For as long as you are not strong enough to break free,
And emerge; spreading your wings like a newly awaken butterfly.
Except you won't be new the day you emerge,
Your wings will be bruised and battered.
But over time, we will see,
They will regain their beauty and help you, once again, to fly free.

We will deign on rose petals as silence suffocates us
Yet we will not whisper, nor will we weep
We must enjoy the last breath that’s ours to keep.

Dead in the heart
Dead in the soul
Because you won’t pay death’s deadly toll!

Grave robber, grave robber,
Please leave us our thrones
Lest we gnaw on our own finger bones.

Rub mud in your eyes;
It won’t make you see
Soiled and blind is all you can be.

Don’t you ever come,
Cry and plead
I’ll give no more answers, guaranteed.

It was all for you
That we sacrificed our life
But please go on and cause more pain and strife!

I have the army
But you still denied
That you continue to fight for your pride…

Twisting, choking
Bruising, burning
Pushing, biting and finger-turning.

We’re the Olympians
Daughter and Son
Hear our mute roar and in terror; run.

Flee in the night.
Rob our graves. Run.
You coward, you fool. You exodus of one.

I want to sleep with the living,
To tell them it's alright.
It's scary – death,
But I make for good company.

When I sleep, you are safe.
So you should hold me close.
Rest easy as you pray
That morning stays away|

This time I shouldn't wake
And the night will be so long
Vampires in every sense
Begging just to be|

Alive
Living
In fear
           Is all that's left
             DEAR

Glass:
cold and smooth,
showing both a blank expression
and a black beyond my face's reflection:
stretches for miles from me to you, the cold
permeates the Glass
into my fingertips, saps
the remnants of you:
the warmth left tingling in my
follicles, fading
from affections, from loving caresses,
from softly wading
into beautiful sun-streaked waters
in our minds, together,
our heads locked forever,
I remember
touching Glass and staring down
the miles from me to you.