The feeling of sickness at the
Back of your throat
The back of your mind
The pit if your stomach.

The butterflies -
Not so pretty now
Bats -
Almost vampiric ones
That nibble at the
Lining of your abdomen
And cause you to lurch
Yourself forward.

Your legs shake uncontrollably
(sometimes)
Your hands as cold as ice
Pins and needles
Painful cramps
Aches.

As if your whole body
Threatens to collapse
Itself on top of you
And your brain is just
Ready to shut down

Any minute

The feeling of when you will burst
Explode
Become that butterfly,
Emerging from the cocoon
Except you're not at all
Majestic

...In any way...

You're just a ghost
- troubled
Trapped in a girl's body
Trying to find a way
To break free.

No one can measure the amount of love a heart can hold -
Not yet.
No one can measure the quickened pace as you walk by,
Or the shortness in my breath as your hair sweeps past me.
Nothing.
Not even the tiniest tear that forms
At the corner of my eye,
When you shock me with a glance, a touch
Coldness or warmth
You amaze me
With your inability to realise how much
I love you.

Art makes me smart
So I'm not like a jam ****.
Eating ice cream makes me beam
Like a beautiful queen.
Playing cool games with my friends
Brings up fashionable new trends.
Writing stories of all kinds
Helps me to open up my mind.
Wearing the mot gorgeous dress
Shining and glittering like a princess.
Baking stuff is so much fun
Especially when you make a delicious chocolate bun.
Watching action programmes on TV
Helps me learn great moves from Jet Li.
Seeing birds flying high, spreading their wonderful wings,
These are some of my favourite things.

I stroke your cool, cold spine
As I envisage our journey together
Through all the ******* and the lies
Through all the memories and the highs
Thought to pen
Pen to paper
The cycle continues

~ but which cycle is it going to be?

No one notices, she thinks,
No one cares, she thinks,
No one understands, she thinks,
No one believes, she thinks,

But I do

I notice the pain in your eyes - everyday,
I truly care - I always will,
I do understand - and I accept the facts,
I do believe - I always have.