Whatever decision you make in life,
                                                       I'm going to support you.
If you fall,
               I'm going to be there to catch you.
When you cry,
                       I'm going to use my man voice and warm hugs to wipe your tears away...
                    and cry with you.
If you walk away,
                            I will follow you and stand by your side - always.

The poison is attacking her brain
forcing her to feel things,
things that disturb her -
thinking
she struggles to breathe
a match between her life and insanity
she's gasping, now
I can't get it to stop
It hurts to unsee
these things I've seen
forcing free her grasp
delicately - as if she were a flower
slowly now
slowly
it stops
she stops
she can breathe again.

You know there's always that one person - who no matter how hard you try,
Not to, can so easily bring tears to your eye.
That same person who normally dries your tears and helps confront your fears, now how it hurts to know their arrow sears
Right through your heart
Though you're  faulty from the very start.
Conscience isn't the one to blame,
Digging up the past, and building the shame.
But questioning thin ice, knowing the answer,
Intimidating whilst fully aware...like the effect of a cancer.
Rage and fury building up inside,
Exploding, stating with nothing to hide.
The incentive, the issue, the vibe given off,
Having my breath caught in throat with a splutter and cough.
The mere poison - attacking my brain, who knew simple words could cause so much pain?
However, they can't  be retrieved from where they've been lain.
The message, so clearly set in stone,
Made me instantly press delete on the phone.
So I'm a liar, user, waster
It's gone way too far from a taster.
And now I've been hated, resented and cast aside,
You're no longer there for me in which to confide,
Now you have chosen Your side....just because I might've lied.

23:41   11/4/13

I ask you
         No answer
I ask you
         I wince.

I smile
   You don't
I stop
   You look away.

I laugh
   You laugh
You cry
         I cry.

I stare
   You see
I smile
   You wink...

Sadness has always been a legacy of the past, but isn't that because we dwell on it too much?
Over trivial matters, our minds will become restless, we'll lose sleep - only to find ourselves in a worse case than what we were in before. We rewind those fragments of conversations and utter them, singling out every little detail, recalling our emotions and feelings, recreating that scene once more...over a million times we'll try but that's never how the real conversation will go, is it? It will be an example of your yet to come worst case scenario. Anticipation will sink in and you'll find yourself  contorted with a dilemma, segregating your brain from your heart. This is where the logic doesn't kick in. For the brain knows what's best, yet the heart knows how it will content you. In the end, whatever twisted decision you have to make, you have to live with it. For regrets are simply the pains of the memory. It's intriguing how certain memories have the ability to control your emotions, your life today as you know it. They force you to feel sadness, worthlessness, hatred, resentment, anger - yet can be thwarted to make you feel content, proud, happy, special and can lift your mood in an instant. See, that's why these 'memories' make us smile in the middle of troubled times to provide us with hope that everything happens for a reason. Which it does, which is why dwelling on the past isn't giving us the ability to face our tomorrow, it's merely steering us away from it.  For instance, if you tell a joke, people will laugh; as you continue telling this joke again and again, few people will continue to laugh, until everyone stops. If we can't laugh at the same thing over and over again, why do we spend our nights crying over the same things over and over again? Leave behind the dwellings and live life with no regrets. ✌