all the days are a foggy haze that go on and on
til they meld together into one big
mess
that messes with the mind’s motion
and the pre-conceived notion that everything should make
perfect
sense.
one slip of the tongue could start the wheel spinning
out of control and off a cliff
into the a ditch next to nothing
but empty space.
and no matter what is said whether right or wrong
a person cannot change another person
or make them understand
what their heart has been screaming for so long.
of course there are other paths if you are willing to take them
and risk that sometimes
the grass isn’t greener
and risk the realization
that it was never green in the first place
and that people just drift through time
and space
with little purpose behind them.
but there is this pull in your gut
and this ache in your chest
that keeps you searching
and keeps you returning
to the never-ending quest for self assurance
through the validation of
others.
yet
there is a small comfort in this confusion
and that is knowing for certain
that you most certainly know
nothing.

Whenever you should cry
I will be your window to the sky
to remind you each time
that every rain pour is followed by the sun's shine.

I know you'll never do the same for me
because you know I already see
but it doesn't hurt any less
when you pretend not to notice my distress.

You tell me a joke and you make me smile
but this tactic of yours can only last for a while
it may help in the moment but does not make it better
and I realise that I am forever alone in this stormy weather.

Believer of schemers
You hopeless day dreamer
It takes heartbreak to make
Your senses much keener
Burn down this bridge
Build up that wall
Lock it up tight
Don’t let it fall
In love again, (the heart that is)
The brain knows
What is good for it
Separation of the heart and mind
Makes for a less painful existence
A more simple life
Free of resistance
Yet time and time
And time again
I forget this fact
And let someone in
A vicious cycle it seizes my heart
My very soul
And rips them apart
I don’t believe that I will ever learn
To discern...
Between what will heal
And what will burn

I’ve been writing this poem
for three years now.
The buildup to a cataclysmic revelation
the understanding that, yes, we are a perfect race.
The knowledge of a people so wide,
it will be carved into minds and taught to stone
until the end of time.
But you cannot change
the way people sip their wine.
Cannot comprehend the understanding
of the earth to the sun as she sets.
Where ballet slippers break the dancers,
not the other way around. Where the
deepest oceans are left empty,
where predator and prey both fail
and love is a prospect of fantasy;
beautiful, and you wish it to be true
but something only beautiful, real, and forever
in fairy-tale books.
written by those
who cannot find their voice.

A crown of thistles and thorns,
Worn as I walk through the Wasteland
Carrying my burdens and hope on my shoulders
The noon light and the twilight.

Step and another forward forever
Into my now broken journey ahead
Footing the edge of the final ledge
Final steps filled with regret —
Or could it be hope?

My Passion is dark from my view;
Somehow, I shine as a Beacon
To the hopeless and the desperate,
The hearts that are broken by fate.

String me up now before I destroy them all,
All along with myself, in my pain.
I was meant to be this way,
To die while I’m still pure.

My bitter victory makes you ever sweet.

I feel like every moment i've spent has led me to you.
and maybe
that's crazy.

Crazy.
Like I felt about you.
A little insane about how quickly it took me to smile whenever I thought about you.
Or a little mad about how much I thought about you even after we said goodbye
Crazy. Like the moment when I had to walk out on you.

You said 'I'll just stay here awhile'
And I took your empty cup
threw it away
smiled a confident smile (I was lying)
And walked out.

At the time it seemed like there was no choice.
There was.
Of course.

Just not right now.

There's a gap between us
Make it smaller
Cause I feel like
It's getting larger
With the seasons
Your cries
Make me feel defeated
Please don't leave me
Wait a week and you will see me
Take some time outside your mind
Take your shoes off and stay for awhile
I want to show you things
I don't want to be ashamed of my memories
It's time to rethink things
I hope you can forgive me

People are all born empty
Hollow shells
Of what they wish to be.
They skulk
Walking with thier heads down
Daydreaming of being whole
They fill themselves
With things
Religion
Drugs and alcohol
Friends
Other people
Trying with all they are to feel whole
Real.
"If I get that new tv I'll be fine"
or
"I know MY God is right and that makes me complete"
sometimes
"If this makes me happy, I can handle the side effects"
and
"When they love me, If I have them, I can be happy"

I am the sufferer and you are my God.
I thirst for ******* and defy you not.
I take delight in your daily abuse.
I am the victim and you are my muse.