Do i hate you?
Or am i angry at you?
I don't hate you, i am not angry at you
but i just feel better
when i don't see you, when i don't speak to you
i remember the things that made me so miserable
and i know, this won't go away
just like that..
i am happy, i am truly happy that you are happy
and you're moving on
this is best for both..
but there is no room for anger,
or hate, or boredom revenge
hitting with each other with knife
and telling me later, how sorry you are
you were my little one..
what i felt with you, of what i never felt with anyone else
yet, let me tell you
i just don't want to speak to you
nor do i want to speak about you
my heart had enough, so did my soul
of tortures ..and these endless desires
of seducing and making out..
it seems you care, and have cared
but truth is..you cared only about yourself
nobody else..
and this will, once realize
will daunt you and your life..
i just wish, i never get to see this
and never had to see your face
ever, again..
till i breath.

love is never enough
you hit me, and it felt like love
i am filled with rage
so many passions, burnt up emotions
in my own burning volcano
why didn't i die there?
i marvel on how much it can hurts?
yet i am here
refusing to move on..
feeling every punch of you
as if it's the best thing ever..
knowing it's the only thing you gave
boxed in beautifully wrapped named 'love'
filled with poison,
rage, and so much hurt.

everyone tells me to move on
yet here i am
writing poems, prose's about you
memories haunting me
like a needle in body
it won't leave my heart
is there a remedy?
for how we played? or how you played?
why do i care?
telling me, how naive i am
i wish i could stop moving on
any further..
while each word i write
it torture my soul
yet i cant keep it to myself
so i close my eyes..
i am scared i would lose myself
just like you..
i wish i become immune, cold
and remote..like you..
who do i compare with you
it won't be enough..
everyone tells me to be strong
just like how i appear to be..
but i keep guessing,
why i am still here?
feeling this, writing this
that continues to run in my head
like a time-machine
i don't want to wake up..
to feel any further, cause i know
there is no relief out there
my dreams tell me
i will be fine..
but this reality of darkness whispers something else..
yet there's no escape
except of sleep.

love can't be held
it can be captured
it can't be described
what i feel, might you feel same
but we feel all of us,
burning desire,
little by little
i thought i know pain--of letting go
it's more than that..
i loved with this love, of being loved
i am not angry
but i just thought---i know pain
i was wrong..
all i am feeling is pain...a lot of pain..
you can't escape
i wasn't enough
even if you loved me
inch by inch of you--yet moving on
i would imagine i knew the feeling
but i forget--every time
how much it hurts--of love
love, that runs in my body
like veins, like rushing blood
i feel for everything, and everyone
yet it's for only few
you amongs them
and its not enough.

I have felt the pain
growing in my soul
like a bursting volcano
i wonder if i can hide it
in my smiles
in my casualness-- my crippled inside
why do i need people?
why do i need to reconcile
when i have my heart
that's so much more than anyone
it has capacity to take
to get broken, to sync all the sufferings
why do i care so much?
when i barely receive any?
this pain is unbearable
it took me to contact those who i didn't want to
but i did..
out of my hearts massive heartache
out of my breath's incapacity to breath
wonder, why do i feel?
i am so incapable of feeling anymore
yet,
here i am,
with my crippled soul, waiting to be heard
waiting to be wrapped in her warmth.

you bought me a lipstick
red lipstick
it keeps me warm
and young
tell me when you're done
i am a canvas that may be loved
till madness
yet i am so lonely, with all my colors
i am haunted by tenderness, gentle memories
with thoughts of heated arguments
where my looming gloom sets in
have i thought of you too much?
tell me when you're done with your ******* and find peace
in this gentleness
I am just too bored to think of you anymore
my head hurts, my arms are empty
where do i find the thought that keeps me moving on
yet i am too wrought by in's and outs
of your gloom in me
love has quit my soul and replaced it
with your spirit of lust and craving for utter madness
i wear the color of red, on my body
and my lips..
yet i am so cold

****** me
when i am gone
kiss me
when i am no more
touch me
when i am nowhere to be seen
drink me
when i am dying ..

I am haunted by my own
All i had was myself
to my own,
i don't recall myself
leaving behind, i don't care how i am seen
i lost myself to a place
where i dont belong
i lost myself to people
who i don't know no more
i lost myself to myself
to a one, i don't recall much.