beware of the word love
it will haunt you
like an addict parent
or a missing brother

put everything aside
and follow
what desires you the most
even if it tastes
like a sour madness

and beware of them
who follow love
and asks for love
in return
for deceiving
and uttering shallowness

take instructions
as they have no other way
other to juggle you
in worst form

loneliness is not crime
being lonely
with people who claim to love
is the worst of all

better be alone
spread your wings
and fly
like a free spirit

we are unlucky
only when we think
of our bad luck
but think
of all the beautiful things
like nature
and wind
birds
oceans
and children

they make me smile
even i no longer want
we are all adolescent
living in a trapped minds

beware if somebody says
you are beautiful
your face doesn't define the nature of your beauty
it is for who you are
with your flaws
and with your rawness
imperfections

let everything fall apart
if it wants
and be what you want to be

follow your dreams
and fly as if you know nothing else

how i loved you
it will be like this
putting your heart into a box
hoping it transform with its force--like a real jewel box
the shy sweetness of your eyes---i have longed to forgo these glimpses
i craved you out of my miseries
i looked for you
in my hallucinations
i have desired you
even when i felt nothing else
in life after life
in moments to moments
yet nothing leads me to you
your ways are distracted
your mind is too dreadful
in my most innocent forms
and shapes
i have loved you
like a real spell
it's an old pain --like of an old age
being together or apart
you held me in most bewildered shapes
in your most captivating ideas
i had longed for your soul to wrap around mines
i had longed for your eyes to give its insight to mine
i had longed for your mind to speak through mine
in a most timeless manner
i executed everything
and have felt the most distressful pain in my swelled up heart
my body aches --my heart trembles
my sulking eyes do not shed any more tears
they are afraid of the loss that it feels
you emerge in me like a son to her mother
like a rainbow in rain -- i had loved you in my most worst times
in ways i cannot describe
all my words fall short
while reflecting how truly i feel
my mind goes numb
my soul rejects everything
and i stare on you
looking at your bewildered ways
of deceiving, of your ideas and of your norms
your tribes and your so-called values
they fail to reflect you of a character
of which, i hold the best

if i tell you of the ways
you will not be yourself anymore
you will fall trapped by the darkness that you left on me
at the heart of another, by eyes of another
you will lose the way out -- you will find no where
even if it gives everything; you still fall behind
you became an image
that my mind adored---my heart craved
both past and future
present and lost ---my heart has made love songs out of separations that it felt
the memories merging into one another, the love madness cherishing it like a mother
you are no more than bewitching idea
yet i can't keep myself away, from your thoughts
from your memories, from your heart
as if it knew nothing else--other than yours
in so many forms
i became formless
creating a charm of another mind--the daughters and sons of love
but if i tell you
clad in the dark spot of heart-- it no longer desire knowing you anymore
and i will let my heart spill out
in ways and ways-- of speaking its force
to be safe till it desires least of you in every bit of time!

why do we love
why do we care
does that really mean anything
time never halts
nor the movements
yet we stop ourselves
from life
and of nature
do we really mean when we leave?
how do we love so much
that even after years, it never fade away
yet we hold onto our dreams
and our bitter realities
little do we speak of our dark souls
those sour memories
and our forgotten faces
we move on
with bits and pieces
do we really move on without any care?
and think; we cease to care
even when all we did is to hold and cry
for our love!
do we really mean anything?
yet we all read; and we all become writers
in our lost of our love
and sadness!

it all began with genius
of head and heart
without any senses
where thoughts did not match
with those existences
and minds went to wonder
fitful and cruel with all its speed..
where nothing floats
and warmth of seasons
of bitter love..
my heart spell profoundly for you
as if it didn't circulate before
there is an ache
it feels no pain still
such a love it is
and i am known to be careless
directionless
time exit when you exist around me
wondering will i be able to live?
and i summon up
all my hopes; and my love
pitiless and highly drenched
my sorrows
parched with your memories
words, senses and madness of deep lyrical love
and i stare
senselessly, waiting
in this darkness of love
and of my soul
you become an image
whom i once held precious
time prove again
of my delusional heart-- and that love!
wistfully i think
of all the passages that could halt
this love!
its distressing to know
the times cruelty
we loved without any mercy
it carried the worst madness
of this time; and of my love!

i don't do poetry
because i want to look intellectual
well-read
intelligent, thoughtful
or impress
people by my words
or take anyone's attention
i do poetry
because i am often alone
left alone
all and out
on my own
to submerse within my own
i crave for existences
no one appears
all stay distant
like a thoughtful absence
i have no harm
confessing in need
words are too deaf to make any sound
other too busy listening to
other songs
of other people
they must be harmonious
cheerful and dedicated
mines too glum
too sad
as i refused to give up
nor to be brainstormed
i go on my own
so i live like this
yet poetry comes to me
like a bereaved friend
it's with me when i sleep
it's there when i laugh
even though
i try to avoid of it's comings and goings
poetry's intensity sits in my heart
like a fog in early morning
but i am not sure
what to do with it
how to keep it
will this stay like an adjourned bond
poetry exists through me
like a thread in fabric
cutting every little piece within me
and i hear
'what a thoughtful presence'

dearer to me than my heart
dearer to me than my soul
and i bleed
I lose
with my heart and soul
Inflicting pain, sorrows
griefs -- endless remorse

Once my homeland was pure
it was freed from blood
******, insensitivity
once my homeland was free of evil inhabitants
sorrows multiplied a thousand fold
gathered in pain-inflicted tears
with lump in throats
distant from your presence
i cry-- for your loss

On the rooftops of tragedies, my heart sink more
like an orphan, an abandoned child
my homeland bleeds
i scream within
i feel the abandonment

dearer to me than my own voice
dearer to me than my own eyes
and i am silent
I am blind
losing my sight, losing my voice
as my voice can't reflect the pain i feel
my eyes can't cry any more
reflecting ocean of deprived

once my homeland was free of pain
people were safe
we running like rivers
do not say it
our country was a flesh in body
now it is a dead body amongst many flesh
forgotten the promises
forgotten the true colors
in the name of revenge, we humiliate humanity

my intention is not to write poems
in my soul, i embrace nights long
this land absorbed wounds, tears
blood, fights, and many martyrs
who are forgotten
my country is our hope
we are growing in broken shadows
this siege is waiting us to drown us
in the middle of lonesome warrior

nobody can feel in absence of love
who are incapable to feel
to take, to absorb
love require us to cry, to embrace
today our homeland is deprived
abandoned, bleeding

she is under siege
as we forgotten to love
we deprived her of her loyalty
we deprived her of her love
we deprived her of her true lovers

My homeland I feel your pain
in my heart I carry all with me

the one i love
is not with me
i don't cry nor i discuss
melancholy stays with me
night and day
whats melancholy?
is it the pain of heart
or sadness of soul
i trade with both
there's too much
we move on
not knowing the whereabouts

life rolls on and on
like a roller coaster
why do i write
despite i feel empty
so hollow
i don't even think i am living
i feel non-existent
a memory a hallucination
of a loved one
of being loved
yet these words comes like a lava
waiting to erupt

we are too busy
living a dream
not ours'
but everyone else's
to keep everyone happy
to ensure they stay with us
they don't
nobody does
we are often accused for being too cruel
too corrupt

yet we all live
like a standby picture
as if we have been waiting for time
to embrace us
to befriend us

the little pains and our sorrows
i wanted to get rid
but sorrows know how to swim
it's all around me
its all over me
its all on me
and the one i love
is not with me