I carelessly look into time
without any quarrel
knowing how irrelevant everything seem
possessing little power
or almost very meager
its forbidden to feel
but the temptation is divine
we are birds
that needs to fly
magnitude of life takes us all
i carelessly examine my body
with thick sheets of disappointments
yet i hold onto my nerves
trying not to fail again
entrance is too thick
and my longings are too big
return with time
i long to be sought
but there is too less time to feel
it is forbidden
to cry your heart out

dont love me back
i am not one of you
my spirit is elsewhere
so is my mind
don't keep me awaiting
your heart can't possess me
it's like holding rain
not to be sure
where to be, how to go
i am running with my masters best field
the best is never to expect
they are all good for their own
do not hold back
spirits can't hold each other
you all have mastered your soul so much
i no longer reside within
all the seasons look same to me
all the faces seem similar to me
they are all seasonal faces  
don't seek me back
my mind can't be sought by yours calculated means
my heart doesn't understand the worldly takes
all it knows --the reasons to care!

at the end
we all have to get back
where we belong
our origins, our belongings
our sadness
our metaphors
our collective joys
despite who we become
how do we chose our path
or who we live with
we all get back to our shells
our homes
it is where we feel we are eternally bonded
halfheartedly or fully present
it matters nothing
where you go
how you love
our withered bones, our sulkied skin
we are going down there
with our souls farther from us
and bodies frozen with time
it won't matter who gave us too much pain
or whether they understood
us; or cared enough for our sorrows
even if they were scornful
it wont matter
as if it's going somewhere else
touching upon each bit of your skin
soul, heart and mind
despite with time
it will fade away
even if how tearful your heart might be
or how much you went through
in such miserable times
this too shall not matter
as nothing came with us
nothing will go with us
all our heartbreaks, all our sadness
our deep aching of soul
our craving or longing of souls
mind's thirst to embrace the mindful thoughts
we are all at the end
going back
going on and back
like a circle
even this it feels
like a syntax of randomness
but it isn't really so
as it is what we really have
in the end
how we made it through
how we chose to love
and live
amidst all the odds; all the flaws
all the imperfections
and with all our sadness, sorrows
griefs--how we embraced
ourselves
when nobody else did.

dead man walking
another footsteps
i am afraid to feel
within soul
let's be quiet
or else they will hear
you don't want yourself to get in trouble
we find trouble anyway
not many know
we are all dead man walking
carrying the skeletons
colored with flesh
lets take it somewhere
feeling cold
nowhere to go
the dead man walking too close by
i hear his footsteps
awaiting to catch
his face reminds me of hurt
he is there always in my heart
not too small
its carrying me around
wherever he goes
like a big boy
i am afraid
his presence makes my heart heavy
i want to close it down
forgetting where he lives
wish he takes exit
for good!

am i home
am i home
am i home
can you see
can you see
can you see
let me know
if you can
let me know
if you can find
let me know
if you can feel
lets embrace the changes
lets face the challenges
don't mind keep going
make a chance with the world
it is not to take seriously
or else
you will have another heartbreak

shhh
they will listen
don't make noises
what will they think?
you cry
even in this spirit
they must not know
you are like a fool child
who cry each time
why do you have to be so problematic?
can't you just behave?
i must not hear a word any further
that's an order!

this is not your playground
where you could be whatever you want
go and sit in your room
i shouldn't see wondering around
nor should i hear anymore
complaints about you
neighbors have been complaining
of your ill-remarks, of your illogical presence
don't think i am absent to any of your activities
do you realize how ashamed am i to have you!
you should not bring bad to my name
or i cut your legs
and i must separate you
as you neither deserve respect nor credentials
you don't know how to respond
look at others!
How well they behave; have you seen them crying?
they perform so well
they all outrun and excel
look at you, your ***** manners
little grumpy fellow !
I must warn you
before you get more spoil
you will be denied to any outgoing activity
if i receive a complain from another source
you are gone
wipe your ******* eyes
and these crocodile tears
nobody will going to buy you for your tears!
Remember you scoundrel
in life
you have to be your own
realize it
before it gets too late
and i must again warn you
this is all fools tricks!

come
and take this way
come let's bury our hearts
let's collectively build the memorial
of 'good one's'
who lost too soon
come and let's prepare a speech
we must know
what we speak to them
we must ensure we all did care very well
it's god's will
who can change the destiny
come and let's not speak to anyone
about our games
we must bury soon
before the wounds open up again
to catch us up
do not be afraid
nobody will get to know
the dead body won't come up rising
come
and take this way
let's bury our souls
collectively
we must mourn
to make others believe
we all took care of the matter very serious
it's only
we couldn't stop the happening
we must surrender
on god's will
let's bury
and forget it soon