As I sat on the backseat of your sister's car,
I knew.
I knew then that it would be the last
Of the unknown that I
Have cherished and loathed
For the longest time.

As I closed my eyes I
Wondered then,
Which one of them was going to fill me in
On what has been going on on
The other side
After all these years?

Father, you left me when I was five
But I couldn't do anything.
You seemed to forget that you had a daughter
But I couldn't do anything.
I searched for you through Friendster
through Facebook
even MySpace
But you wouldn't do anything.
I couldn't do anything.

As I sat on the backseat of your sister's car
About to meet you finally after all these long years
I couldn't do anything.

Had you rejected me
It would have been better
I could have gone crazy and screamed and thrashed and left
But you didn't do that sort of thing.

You hugged me
Along with everyone in the family
Even GrandMama cried as she hugged me
Twas as if the hugs could make up for the years
That went on by
Without you.

I did not grow up on hugs and
Kisses.
I seemed content in the berth of personal space
****** upon me at birth.

But then
Each and everyone of you was a
Hugger. And
I couldn't do anything.

I am not an angry mass of hate
And malevolence.
Gone were the days when
I had wished for your demise.

If anything,
I feared that I wasn't strong enough
For this. But
I couldn't do anything.

She is broken
Are you happy now?
You brought her to her knees
Not a moment to soon
But she begs with you please!

Silence fills the room
Are you happy now?
She feels your shame
Choking on her past
Her death, your to blame

Blood of an innocent lays on the floor
Are you happy now?
Did you get what you want?
Your name she still calls
And you didn't get caught

Her death preys on your mind
Are you happy now?
Taking what isn't yours to take
Living on the edge
Making every new mistake

You take your own life
Are you happy now?
To be scared
Knowing she is waiting for you
It's not death it was her you feared

ARE YOU HAPPY?

You lived alone
in your quiet house
upon the hill

My words were creeping up
like razors scraping through
your pale little skin

Our lips now
daily recieve kisses
from eachother

**They don't know us

Sometimes I like to lay on the ground
straight,
flat
and the pressure numbs my lungs,
the carpet itches against my cheek,
and I feel the noise of this house
in the walls,
the floors,
the bones.
And then I know
this is home.

I love you

I love you more than you can know,
And more than you can see,
I love you more than I could hope
to have someone love me.

I'll love you when you're sick and weak,
And love you when you're strong,
I'll love you through our arguements,
if you're right, or if I'm wrong.

I'll love you through the lace of time,
Until we're old, until we're grey,
I'll love you always, more and more,
With every passing day.

I'll love you in our times of plenty,
and in our times of need,
I'll love you when I have to serve,
And I'll love when I can lead.

I love you more than life itself,
More than water, more than breath,
and whether I go first, or you,
I'll love you into death.

I love you more than the word love,
ever could define,
I'll love you through whatever comes,
I love you and you're mine,

I love you with a burning love,
that fills me through and through,
I can never say these words enough,
for truly, I Love You.